layton Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 Chirstmass Eve, Boulder CO. 11pm Jay and I walk into the strip club, The Bus Stop, and immediately ask if they serve food. "We've got frozen Pizzas" the bouncer quizically replied. "We'll take two!" I just drove from PDX to denver to pick up Jay at the airport and we were both starving. Nothing, not even the gas stations were open. We needed food, and The Bus Stop was the only lit building we could find...not that we minded. Inside the dimly lit room, the throbbing music was countered by a saddness, the kind of saddness one finds at a strip club late at night on Christmass Eve. We order beers and sit back from the dance floor so we aren't expected to stuff our bills into G-strings all night long. A long wait ensues, with plenty of eye candy, until the 1st pizza arrives. It's gone in seconds. More waiting. Then a stripper approaches us, "I ate your 2nd pizza, I was really hungry. It'll be another 40 minutes," she informs us, using her huge breasts like a hypnotists watch, swaying over us. "uuhhhh huhhhh," we drool. I get bored and walk around. Jay makes friends with the waitress. She's a pretty girl and quickly warms up to Jay. She tells Jay she's going to Naropa Institiute to study being a clairvoyant. "You must own your uncertainty," she informs Jay. "Uhhhh huhhhh" he drools. Time passes. "Where the hell is Mike?" Jay wondered. Jay looked around, and finally peered into the foggy glass behind the stage in the lap dance room. Jay found me in back surrounded by strippers, giving them adjustments and massages with a big shit eatting grin on my face. We headed to Cody only to find the whole place had melted out, and drove back down to Ouray after rock climbing in cody and boulder for a couple days. Ouray was a blast, except for New Year's in the Elks Lodge. Everything in S.Mineral and Eureka is in fat, but Birdbrain unfortuneately isn't in. Here's the skylight climb (WI5 M6) me on p1 jj on pitch 3 (sorry jay, no good p2 pic) He I am on a new bolt/gear M6 next to the skylight I didn't take many photos on this trip, but here's a cool pic of ames falls Jay and I went to do the Ames Ice Hose only to get scooped by a party just starting up the 1st rock pitch. The only did the 1st pitch, saying the 2nd looked like shit. I wish they hadn't said that, b/c damned if I wasn't going to do that tomorrw regardless. I wanted it bad. The Ice Hose So the next day I led the rock start (M6) which has the spicey crux 30 above an RP (which wouldn't matter anyway b/c it would be a groundfall). Somehow I didn't die and climbed the rock and ice to the anchor. Jay couldn't figure out my camera and belay me at the same time, so here's a pic of the guy the day before doing it. Jay gave me the 2nd pitch also. It turned out to be a horror show WI6 full 60m pitch. The 1st section was vertical powersnow over rock, encrusted in a rain crust. There was absolutely no good sticks or ice for screws. Then it buldges out on powersnow over rock, and finishes with two more slush mushrooms to an anchor and the upper fat fat fat water ice final pitch. I rained down so much ice on jay in the body wide "ice" ribbon that I thought I killed him at one point (seriously). He stoically followed my pitch of retardedness even in much pain from being constantly nailed by my debris. Here's a picture of the bottom part of the 2nd pitch while rapping down. yummy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dylan_taylor Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 YAAAAAY! way to send mike and jay! I drove past the bustop almost every day for 15 years, never went in there. The lower hose looks nasty, nice work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couloir Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 I love your prose Mike. Smacks a little of Charles Bukowski. The pictures are great too! Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miller Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Sick bro-bra!!! So I had a hard time putting together the details of your story - is Jay a stripper now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Frieh Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Great TR d00d! What is this? Jay found me in back surrounded by strippers, giving them adjustments A lapse in judgment? Hmmm... michael_layton said: As for doing that in the parking lot at crags...good idea except i don't have my license and would NEVER get one if caught. michael_layton said: i still have 7.5 more quarters to go, so I'm "dangerous" to give specific advice on what she should do michael_layton said: unforetunately, as far as i'm told, i need one more quarter of school (specifically two more physical therapy classes) before I can work as a CA (chiropractic assistant) legally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 he was showng them how to put the velcro gloves on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
layton Posted January 8, 2006 Author Share Posted January 8, 2006 I adjusted their smiles! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dylan_taylor Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 with what? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
layton Posted January 9, 2006 Author Share Posted January 9, 2006 i turned those frowns upsidedown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 I love your prose Mike. Smacks a little of Charles Bukowski. You mean, partly fictional? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artesonraju Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 I liked the original post better, Mike! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
layton Posted January 9, 2006 Author Share Posted January 9, 2006 I love your prose Mike. Smacks a little of Charles Bukowski. You mean, partly fictional? Half my TR's are also half lies and overexaggerations. Makes it more fun for me to write. The truth and correct camera angle is boooooooooring! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 I knew it! Devils Club is really a 3 pitch 5.7, right Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
layton Posted January 9, 2006 Author Share Posted January 9, 2006 if that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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