Washington Pass Chossmonaut Expedition

[layton]

The trip got off to a shaky start...tequilla, more tequilla, and debauchary at Necronomicon's Banned Camp with his lovely bride and Jordop. Jordon, being from Canada, couldn't handle the strong Mexican drink and spend the night and next morning puking more times than i could count on my fingers.

Jordan waited till 10:30, when he could finally hold down water to get in the General, and hit the road.

Luckily it was one BILLION degrees outsite at the cuttroat lake trailhead, and we quickly packed before the sun's rays melted holes in our cams and slings.

 

Thus began our 30 mile loop of the further reaches of chossington pass in exploratory hope of opening up new lines for the good of humanity. The NE face of golden horn was our objective. (1st photo mine, 2nd Scurlock)

click for photo

 

As every electrolite was sweated out of every pore on our bodies, we staggered through some amazing country with fretful bouts of uber alpine hyper stumble-wallowing in the soft snow. A posthole wonderland.

 

Finally after much ballyhoo and dry heavin' we could see our destination, the notch between tower and hardy. Clouds rolled in, but only lasted a little bit. The sun continued to rage.

 

After a friggen long ass walk, we arrived below tower mountain. There's a big ass cave if you look closely. John Scurlock shows a cave also on the N face. Maybe they connect?? Would that be the coolest thing ever! I'll be checking this out for sure.

 

The next day after hitting the snooze for an hour and a half, Jordan and I continued to lose brain cells and electrolites from our bodies, and continued the endless slog to the col overlooking the NE face of Golden Horn. It was pretty brutal. Luckily when we FINALLY got to scope out the route, it was a towering tottering pile of crap. Well, it wasn't that bad. The upper 400 feet looked pretty good, but upon close inspection of the lower half with binocs, it is vertically and horizontally banded with sand and choss. It would be a real prize in chossmungery. After hiking all that way, i was pretty game to try anything no matter how shitty, but looking at it closely, i didn't care how friggin far we hiked. The photos couldn't show the up close chossness, they actually looked kinda sorta do-able. Oh well. We got real good views of tower and Mt Hardy as consolidation prizes.

 

Instead of going back the way we came, we opted to hike out Swamp Creek and hitchike back to the car. It was a lovely little "romp" through the woods and we later decided that hiking in the river would be a lot more fun than meandering though the "lushness" of swamp creek. Then the gods got angry and unleashed the fury, so we got some fun hail and lightning and rain to round out the day.

I tried for a long time to get a ride while Jordan hid in the bushed, so I told him it was his turn. I barely hid behind a tree, before Jordan flagged down a ride. I tried not to take it personally. The ride was surreal with an empty VW fan and a dad and freaky kids from everett. We hiked the last mile back to the car, and I drove all the way home to portland by myself.

 

It was really too bad, cuz we both had orange packs and it's not often that a color co-ordinated 1st ascent occurs. I lay awake last night visualize what the climb would've been like. Here is what i think it would have been like, had we actaully attempted it.

 

1st part of the route:

 

2nd part of climb:

 

and the final part:

 

I'm sure Jordan will add something or call my b.s.

[skykilo]

Nice photoessay Mike!

[jordop]

OH Jesus so Mike now has a digital camera. I'm surprised there are no photos of his talking feces.

 

This was certainly one of the more exquisite mung wallow approaches of my life so far. Here is my photo interpretation of the events:

 

The easy approach via the PCT:

 

SUPERHAPPYGOODTIMES Camp:

 

The first view of the immaculate objective:

 

A close-up of the face:

 

The hike out:

 

"I luv you longlong time for ride!"

[PaulB]

Please, fill us in on your mental state at this point:

 

[jordop]

It was like I had been let down by a cheap GPS or a leaky thermos . . .

[layton]

his expression says NO, but his festive shirt says YES!

[olyclimber]

Do you see that line to the left? I'd definitely go behind the bear. But I suppose it would be more sporting if the bear saw you.

 

[Blake]

Looks like that bear has a tranq dart sticking out of it.

[catbirdseat]

You are very observant. Sure looks like it.

[Blake]

So I think that it's cheating to tranquilize the bear. Climb the line as-is or back off, don't "bring it down to your level."

[jordop]

Whatever, you weren't even there. That pitch was total garbage bear

[layton]

i live in a giant bucket

[Cobra_Commander]

This is a great TR. Entertaining adventure, no tasteless unimaginitive swearing, and a touch of girl-on-girl action to keep the scroll wheels spinning at work.

[ashw_justin]

That is pimptaculous, chamos. How do the ladies resist you?

[Ducknut]

Tranquilizers are aid. Where are your gorts and gaiters?

[archenemy]

Awesome.

Like bouldering without the obstacles.