Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • olyclimber

      WELCOME TO THE CASCADECLIMBERS.COM FORUMS   02/03/18

      We have upgraded to new forum software as of late last year, and it makes everything here so much better!  It is now much easier to do pretty much anything, including write Trip Reports, sell gear, schedule climbing related events, and more. There is a new reputation system that allows for positive contributors to be recognized,  it is possible to tag content with identifiers, drag and drop in images, and it is much easier to embed multimedia content from Youtube, Vimeo, and more.  In all, the site is much more user friendly, bug free, and feature rich!   Whether you're a new user or a grizzled cascadeclimbers.com veteran, we think you'll love the new forums. Enjoy!
Sign in to follow this  
snugtop

Limerick Time!

Recommended Posts

For two or three weeks I had wooed

My dear Bessie. "I love you", I cooed.

But she chewed on the cud as

I played with her udders

And told me, "I'm not in the mooed."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There was a young fellow named Tucker

Who, instructing a novice cocksucker,

Said, "Don't blow out your lips

Like an elephant's hips;

The boys like it best when you pucker.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

An Australian farmer called Blue

Had a twenty foot didgeridoo.

They say that he slept

With the sheep that he kept

And he didgeridid them all too.

 

And Sheilas who wanted some fun

With a didgeridoo in the sun

Just visited Blue

For a minute or two

Or until they were didgeridone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On the internet they found romance,

That put both in a hot sexual trance,

But each had a gripe,

About having to type,

With a hand stuck down into their pants.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There once was an avatar named Dru

he sprayed Faster than You

though posting is lame

it garnered him fame--

Though somehow pitty.gif

 

(Does this evoke deja vous?)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There once was a lass with a snugtop

Who eschewed sex with a karate chop

Then one day a man from Niagara

Conquered this lass with Viagra

And now she sashays with a rider's crop.

Edited by klenke

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Klenkee, too manneee sylabbleeess!!!!

 

Here's the remix:

 

 

There once was a fine lass of snug top

Who nixed all sex with karate chop chops

Then a fag from Niagara

Got wood with Viagra

And now she sashays with this notfop.

Edited by marylou

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There was an Argentine gaucho named Bruno

Knew ev'rything about sex there was to know

He said "women are fine,

and sheep are divine,

but llamas are numero uno."

 

Perhaps Off White can corroborate?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whaddayamean, chump? I took your mealymouthed lim and made it into a lean, mean, syncopated humor machine!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Limericks are supposed to be mealymouthed. I do like your use of lass better. I'll change that in the original. Lass is more Irish.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Limericks are supposed to have a certain rhythm, and the Klenke original didn't.

 

Da DUM da da DUM da da DUM DUM

Da DUM da da DUM da da DUM DUM

ha HUM ha ha HUM

ha HUM ha ha HUM

Da DUM da da DUM da da DUM DUM

 

lines da/DUM and ha/HUM must rhyme with the other lines with the same ending, ie all DUMs rhyme and both HUMs rhyme.

eg.

There ONCE was a MAN from nan TUCK ET

etc.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Drul is right, and the remix was a little off too.

 

The remix got an edit, and all is well now. cool.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The exact number of syllables can vary a bit. This isn't Haiku after all. But it has to have the rhythm.

 

There was an old man from the Nile

Whose sexual habits were vile.

Yet whenever he'd score

The women all swore

That he sure made perversion worthwhile.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hell, you don't even have to get the rhyme perfect; the rhythms the thing.

 

A fat guy on cc.com

Says winter ascents are wrong

He thinks they don't jive

in 2005

I think he's been hitting the bong!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There was a C'nuck sprayer named Dru

Who racked up far more posts than you

But then one fateful day

After hours of spray

Poor Dru choked and drowned on his own spew

 

wave.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This so called Amazing "Dr."

Unzipped and "Flash"ed and it shocked'er

For it seemed that He

Was really a she

Yes, DFA was a girl, and they mocked her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There once was a man from Nantucket

Whose dick was so long he could suck it

He said with a grin

As he wiped off his chin

If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it. –John Valby (Dr. Dirty)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So Dru thinks he can faze Doc Amazing

With a b'low-the-belt lim'rickal hazing

But what will Dru do when

He's caught out by the pen

With a wooly friend doing some "grazing"?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

using apostrophes to make your limerick work is rather pedestrian

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
There once was a man from Nantucket....

 

Damn, I avoided posting that because I thought: "That's too disgusting for cc.com" blush.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Using apostrophes in your limerick

Is to Iain not a fair trick

He's not in the zone,

Can't come up with his own

So I guess he'll remain a critic

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×