Limerick Time!

[snugtop]

Who's got one?

 

I bet Klenke does.

[pope]

For two or three weeks I had wooed

My dear Bessie. "I love you", I cooed.

But she chewed on the cud as

I played with her udders

And told me, "I'm not in the mooed."

[cracked]

http://www.cascadeclimbers.com/threadz/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/371806/page/0/fpart/all/vc/1

[Bogen]

There was a young fellow named Tucker

Who, instructing a novice cocksucker,

Said, "Don't blow out your lips

Like an elephant's hips;

The boys like it best when you pucker.

[Bogen]

An Australian farmer called Blue

Had a twenty foot didgeridoo.

They say that he slept

With the sheep that he kept

And he didgeridid them all too.

 

And Sheilas who wanted some fun

With a didgeridoo in the sun

Just visited Blue

For a minute or two

Or until they were didgeridone

[Bogen]

On the internet they found romance,

That put both in a hot sexual trance,

But each had a gripe,

About having to type,

With a hand stuck down into their pants.

[snugtop]

There once was an avatar named Dru

he sprayed Faster than You

though posting is lame

it garnered him fame--

Though somehow

 

(Does this evoke deja vous?)

[klenke]

There once was a lass with a snugtop

Who eschewed sex with a karate chop

Then one day a man from Niagara

Conquered this lass with Viagra

And now she sashays with a rider's crop.

Edited March 3, 2005 by klenke

[marylou]

Klenkee, too manneee sylabbleeess!!!!

 

Here's the remix:

 

 

There once was a fine lass of snug top

Who nixed all sex with karate chop chops

Then a fag from Niagara

Got wood with Viagra

And now she sashays with this notfop.

Edited March 3, 2005 by marylou

[Dr_Flash_Amazing]

There was an Argentine gaucho named Bruno

Knew ev'rything about sex there was to know

He said "women are fine,

and sheep are divine,

but llamas are numero uno."

 

Perhaps Off White can corroborate?

[klenke]

Your remix sucks, Marylou.

(And you of all people to use that f-word?)

[marylou]

Whaddayamean, chump? I took your mealymouthed lim and made it into a lean, mean, syncopated humor machine!

[klenke]

Limericks are supposed to be mealymouthed. I do like your use of lass better. I'll change that in the original. Lass is more Irish.

[Dru]

Limericks are supposed to have a certain rhythm, and the Klenke original didn't.

 

Da DUM da da DUM da da DUM DUM

Da DUM da da DUM da da DUM DUM

ha HUM ha ha HUM

ha HUM ha ha HUM

Da DUM da da DUM da da DUM DUM

 

lines da/DUM and ha/HUM must rhyme with the other lines with the same ending, ie all DUMs rhyme and both HUMs rhyme.

eg.

There ONCE was a MAN from nan TUCK ET

etc.

[klenke]

So sue me, beeeaatch!

[marylou]

Drul is right, and the remix was a little off too.

 

The remix got an edit, and all is well now.

[Dru]

The exact number of syllables can vary a bit. This isn't Haiku after all. But it has to have the rhythm.

 

There was an old man from the Nile

Whose sexual habits were vile.

Yet whenever he'd score

The women all swore

That he sure made perversion worthwhile.

[Bogen]

Hell, you don't even have to get the rhyme perfect; the rhythms the thing.

 

A fat guy on cc.com

Says winter ascents are wrong

He thinks they don't jive

in 2005

I think he's been hitting the bong!

[Dr_Flash_Amazing]

There was a C'nuck sprayer named Dru

Who racked up far more posts than you

But then one fateful day

After hours of spray

Poor Dru choked and drowned on his own spew

 

[Dru]

This so called Amazing "Dr."

Unzipped and "Flash"ed and it shocked'er

For it seemed that He

Was really a she

Yes, DFA was a girl, and they mocked her.

[Gidget]

There once was a man from Nantucket

Whose dick was so long he could suck it

He said with a grin

As he wiped off his chin

If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it. –John Valby (Dr. Dirty)

[Dr_Flash_Amazing]

So Dru thinks he can faze Doc Amazing

With a b'low-the-belt lim'rickal hazing

But what will Dru do when

He's caught out by the pen

With a wooly friend doing some "grazing"?

[iain]

using apostrophes to make your limerick work is rather pedestrian

[bunglehead]

There once was a man from Nantucket....

 

Damn, I avoided posting that because I thought: "That's too disgusting for cc.com"

[Bogen]

Using apostrophes in your limerick

Is to Iain not a fair trick

He's not in the zone,

Can't come up with his own

So I guess he'll remain a critic