Witness Me in My Gaper Slendor!!

[willstrickland]

All these name calling pissing contests got me to thinking. I've been in some pretty dumb situations climbing that I got away with, those fabled bad decisions that make up "experience" that leads to good decisions. For example:

 

1. Many years ago, on one of the first sport routes I led, I arrived at the anchors and clipped in with a daisy and locker. I cranked down the screw-gate and hung off the anchor to untie/thread the chains. With my rap now set-up, I tried to remove the locker. It was stuck. I couldn't budge the fahqer. After 45 minutes hanging there cursing and hacking at this bitch with a rock, I managed to borrow a leatherman off a passing climber and unscrewed the gate, arriving back on the deck as the sun set. Lesson: Loading a fully screwed down locker and expecting to be able to open it is STUPID.

 

2. On a last minute plan to climb a route on Hood w/ TG, I forgot my helmet, which I realized as we reached the base of the NF. Unpacking my pack I realized my water bladder was leaking like a sieve. We got up early and started climbing anyway. Halfway up the initial 300ft snow slope, I dropped a glove. I went down and retrieved it. About 200ft above the shrund, I realized I'd let the hose on the second bladder (borrowed from well prepared partner) freeze and couldn't get any water to flow. Half an hour later the sun rose and I realized I'd left my sunglasses in the tent. Lesson: Keep your mind on the climbing and don't make mulitple mistakes. GAPE-FEST!

 

3. Attempting to solo Desert Shield in Zion, in SUMMER, I wasn't paying enough attention to water/food intake. After cleaning and hauling the second pitch, I puked all over my anchor and legs. After leading and cleaning half the third pitch I spent 30 minutes alternating between dry heaving and screaming in pain because the cramps in my bi's and quads were so bad. I was so frustrated when I reached the anchors I wanted to cry. Wisely (?) I bailed and didn't move more than about 6 feet from the spot I hit the ground for a day and a half. Lesson: Climbing in Zion in the summer is STUPID. Not staying hydrated and fed is STUPID.

 

4. In Tallulah Gorge, GA. A multi-pitch crag with a ledge system along it's base. I'd been there maybe 3 times previous. A cc.com'er was on business in the SE and we hooked up for a day. After climbing our main objective, we walked farther down the crag for some one pitch stuff. We left our headlamps in our packs at the base of the main objective since it was on our way out. Pretty soon it was dark and I had just started following the last pitch of the day. We rapped from the top (he might even have lowered me, I don't recall). Anyway, as we got back to the base it was pitch black. We couldn't find the passage through the ledge system that led back to our packs and the trail out. This was "my" area, and I could not find the right connection. I was ready to descend (read: bushwack through sketchy cliff bands and gnarly rhododendron) to the river , schwack a mile up river to a footbridge/hiking trail, ascend out of the gorge, walk back down the approach trail, get our packs , then re-ascend this ass-kicking steep trail back out of the gorge. All the while, we were (by park regulations) supposed to be out by sunset and had to secure a free day-use climbing permit...so I knew the rangers would be waiting for us and/or preparing to mount a rescue. Luckily, Matt meandered across a ledge and around a corner to check it out and found the connection. We reached the packs, donned out headlamps and found an angry ranger waiting for us in the parking lot. He had already started calling his SAR team to be on standby. I told some lies about stuck rap ropes and he let us go after a lecture. Lesson: Take your headlamp when it's getting dark. Climbing in an unfamiliar area with a sketchy approach/descent, in fading light, without your headlamp...if FUCKING STUPID.

 

I'm sure there are plenty more of those, but I have work to do...

[bDubyaH]

sweet a list i can add to! my most recent bad decision was a couple of weeks ago in China at 19,000' solo. got distracted by the lure of waterfall ice (verglass) and decided to climb the hard line instead of my original route. well ended up having to drop my pack so that i wouldn't pitch off the route. 5 minutes later while i barely held onto my perch i saw my pack still tumbling down the mountain, it had shot out the couloir, down the snowfield and was continuing on down the scree. long story short: the pack had my jacket/down, gloves, hat, food, camera, water, and axes. i had my base layer on, no gloves and needed to downclimb the verglas covered gastons i had managed to climb up, oh and i had left instructions to "not bother looking for me until morning" if i fell and hurt myself and couldn't get the few thousand feet to my pack i was a goner, cause a storm came in a few hours later.

i don't have enough time to tell all the stupid things i have done in 12yrs of climbing but there are many! fortunately the only climbing injury other than gobies and the usual has been a torn tendon in my hand...which i got in a gym

[Dru]

One time I found this internet bulletin board thingy about climbing and I started posting to it. FUCKING MEGA RETARDED!

[scott_harpell]

[willstrickland]

Foster Falls, TN - "Launch Pad"

 

Even if you can't see any wasps on the nest from the ground, does not mean there are none on it. Climbing directly over a red wasps' nest, I highstepped to a hold just above the nest and promply got stung in the ass, thigh, and pretty damn close to the boys. Climbing through wasps nest is....SOFA KING WE TODD IT.

[Ireneo_Funes]

[Lambone]

did you mean "Splendor" ?

[Dru]

Or "Slender"? No fat gapers need apply.

 

Return to slendor

Address unknown

No such number

No such Bone.

[rbw1966]

A few gems of my own to contribute:

 

1. Got to the chains on a route at Smith my first time there. Dropped the rope while threading the chains. Waited for another climber to bring the rope back up to me.

 

2. Used platypus bladder on overnight winter climb of Hood. Tube froze so I put the bladder in my sleeping bag to thaw it out. Rolled over on bite valve during the night and woke up to a puddle in my sleeping bag. Threw on gore-tex jacket and bibs and went back to sleep.

 

3. Went to Zion for canyoneering outing with friend from SLC. Brought aid gear to solo Prodigal or some other easy aid route. Did I mention this was August? Rack never even left the car.

 

4. Drove to Boston Basin to do Torment Forbidden Traverse in October. Got to trailhead and it was raining. Must be snowing up higher--no biggie, we'll be climbing it in winter conditions. Yeah, right. Slipped on approach and dislocated shoulder but popped back in place right away. Kept on trucking. Reached base of ridge and guess what? Still raining. Decided to head back to the car. "Lets take a shortcut and cut a direct line back to the trail rather than contour across Boston Basin." Six hours later and after cliffing out twice we decide it best not to thrash through the Slide Alder and Devils Club anymore. My first unplanned bivvy was wet and miserable and less than half a mile from the car. Took us two hours to cover this distance the next day.

 

Will--you left out your redpoint.

[willstrickland]

Hey Rob, wanna go climbing?

 

And it was an onsight baby!

[EWolfe]

Trying out aid climbing for the second or third time at Smith, I decided that "Toes of the Fisherman" would be a good solo. Fixed anchor amid piss odor, and climbed up 20 feet, clipping above me and popped a cam. Rope caught me 1 foot above a protruding rock. STOOOOO-PID!

[rbw1966]

Hey Rob, wanna go climbing?

 

While you may not share this sentiment, I'd be honored to rope up with you any day.

 

And it was an onsight baby!

This, of course, would be the reason why!