olyclimber Posted May 11, 2004 Posted May 11, 2004 This is the good humor thread. Post negative thoughts here, and you are my tool. Believe it! Now, where was I? Ahhh yes! Molly!: Thongs: And even N o d d e r: Quote
olyclimber Posted May 11, 2004 Author Posted May 11, 2004 You're only borderline tool, because there is humor involved here. Keep them coming! Quote
olyclimber Posted May 11, 2004 Author Posted May 11, 2004 Everyone wanted to spot for Annabelle when she walked over the ladders at the Khumbu Icefall. Quote
olyclimber Posted May 11, 2004 Author Posted May 11, 2004 The Story of Molly and the steaksauce Once upon a time (75 million years ago to be more precise) there was an alien galactic ruler named Molly Ringwald. Molly Ringwald was in charge of all the planets in this part of the galaxy including our own planet Earth, except in those days it was called Teegeeack. Now Molly Ringwald had a problem. All of the 76 planets she controlled were overpopulated. Each planet had on average 178 billion people. she wanted to get rid of all the overpopulation so she had a plan. Molly Ringwald took over complete control with the help of renegades to defeat the good people and the Loyal Officers. Then with the help of psychiatrists she called in billions of people for income tax inspections where they were instead given injections of alcohol and glycol mixed to paralyse them. Then they were put into space planes that looked exactly like DC8s (except they had rocket motors instead of propellers). These DC8 space planes then flew to planet Earth where the paralysed people were stacked around the bases of volcanoes in their hundreds of billions. When they had finished stacking them around then H-bombs were lowered into the volcanoes. Molly Ringwald then detonated all the H-bombs at the same time and everyone was killed. The story doesn't end there though. Since everyone has a soul (called a "steaksauce" in this story) then you have to trick souls into not coming back again. So while the hundreds of billions of souls were being blown around by the nuclear winds she had special electronic traps that caught all the souls in electronic beams (the electronic beams were sticky like fly-paper). After she had captured all these souls she had them packed into boxes and taken to a few huge cinemas. There all the souls had to spend days watching special 3D motion pictures that told them what life should be like and many confusing things. In this film they were shown false pictures and told they were God, The Devil and Christ. In the story this process is called "implanting". When the films ended and the souls left the cinema these souls started to stick together because since they had all seen the same film they thought they were the same people. They clustered in groups of a few thousand. Now because there were only a few living bodies left they stayed as clusters and inhabited these bodies. As for Molly Ringwald, the Loyal Officers finally overthrew him and they locked him away in a mountain on one of the planets. She is kept in by a force-field powered by an eternal battery and Molly Ringwald is still alive today. Quote
catbirdseat Posted May 11, 2004 Posted May 11, 2004 Olyclimber, are you a Scientologist? You must have somehow reached level OT III. http://www.xenu.net/archive/leaflet/xenuleaf.htm Quote
olyclimber Posted May 11, 2004 Author Posted May 11, 2004 Olyclimber, are you a Scientologist? You must have somehow reached level OT III. http://www.xenu.net/archive/leaflet/xenuleaf.htm You mean Xenu is not Molly Ringwald? Then I guess I'm not. And I thought I was having a satori Quote
olyclimber Posted May 11, 2004 Author Posted May 11, 2004 This is done. Have a nice day. Good luck with Marlett. Quote
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