pzack Posted April 5, 2004 Posted April 5, 2004 Climb: L-Worth-Saber Date of Climb: 4/4/2004 Trip Report: My buddy (German Mike) flew in from Germany last week with his German wife and little German baby. He got me into climbing (sport) a couple years ago and I was stoked by the good weather and the chance to climb with some good friends and introduce German Mike to trad climbing. Me and my other buddy (American Mike) decided that Castle rock would be a good place to be; "Ja Gut, Steig Auf Beeotch!" We decided to meet at 8am at his place. Daylight Savings Time?? wtf? Well, I showed up an hour and 5 minutes late, but that wasn't a problem cuz' I went to pick up American Mike and he was still drunk from a night of excess that stretched into the morning. I threw him and his gear in the back of my pickup and rolled over to German Mike's Dad's house. His German wife was holding his little German baby, and giving me the evil German eye. "Ja Gut!" I heard German say something in German about the fact that I "might not" kill him. "Bereited euch zu Sterben vor!" Was the only thing I could think of to say. Not scorin' many "Deutch Mach Spass" points with that one. We drove over Stevens and the weather was great. American Mike began to sober up, and with that came the hangover that would not relent. We would have let him out of the truck to throw up, but he was working on his "Zen and the Art of Drunk Ass Vomit Sucking". He said he was good to go for some climbing... just maybe not any leading. A quick stop at crystals for a variety of hangover remedies, including parking lot vomit spree, and we were up at the crags at 1pm sharp! At first, I was thinking Canary would be a great climb. I've never done it, and I was stoked at the chance to snag both leads on the climb. Well, German Mike had put on maybe 30 German lbs of German Beer gut since he left the US a couple years ago, so we thought, maybe we should warm up with something easier. We looked around and saw that the shortest line was for Saber- Sweet. After waiting for a hour or two we finally got a chance to climb something. German Mike was having some trouble with his stupid German harness... That was 3 German sizes to small for his German beer gut. "Hey Bud, that don't look so good. You're gonna need more than a 1/4" of slack on your double back... (Burp! Gag! Vomit!)" Said American Mike. American Mike's Harness was pretty spacious, and they did the harness shuffle and we were off and climbing. Up I went, my first Trad lead of the new Season! I'd been Gym climbing hard this past year and I was stoked to get on some real rock. Placing pieces had become awkward and cumbersome after a long dormant winter. I had trouble with that first pitch because I didn't see any taped holds anywhere and I couldn't figure out where to put my hands... Well, I managed to wedge myself into the corner and chimney climb up the first section... I looked down and realized I'd only placed two pieces and the upper one had popped out from rope drag. I was looking at a fatty' crater. Gah! German Mike was doing some stupid German belay rope flip tricks down below and sketching me out something extra. Ah! Then I got that feeling you just don't get at the gym... that feeling that separates climbing from pullin' plastic.... A couple calming breathes and I found some good gear and enjoyed the sound of the biner clip. The two Mikes simul-climbed the next portion, with German Mike tying in on a bite. He managed to take a nice fall on the slab portion and came up to the belay ledge with bloody scrapes on every limb of his body. "Oh! The German house frau is gonna love that", I said. I did the next pitch short, and threw my Reverso off the ledge for good measure. I spent a few minutes remembering how to tie a munter hitch and got passed by a very sympathetic couple of climbers. "Don't mind me! I'm a friggin' Gumby Legend!" I belayed the Mike's up to the next ledge. German Mike was just about spent physically at this point, and American Mike seemed fully recovered saying, "climbing is the cure!" and lead the way out for the final short pitch. We drank some German pints in that mighty German town of L-worth, and German Mike had only two things to say for the two hour drive home- "Leavenworth is the lamest thing I've ever seen" and "I think I'm going to quit my stupid German job and come to the States. This rock climbing, this is the life." (Insert German wife frowning here) Gear Notes: Bring Extra Belay Devices if yer a useless gumby like me. Quote
Greg_W Posted April 5, 2004 Posted April 5, 2004 That's the funniest fucking 'Saber' TR I've ever read. Quote
Winter Posted April 5, 2004 Posted April 5, 2004 Hahahah! Now if you just dress American Mike up like German Mike you'll have LWorth pegged. Quote
fenderfour Posted April 5, 2004 Posted April 5, 2004 Very nice sir. Sorry I couldn't make it. the women, the sun, the beach and the boulders were great in Bellingham. Quote
olyclimber Posted April 5, 2004 Posted April 5, 2004 Ausgezeichnet Reise Berichts pzack. Ich lache meinen Esel ab! Quote
pzack Posted April 6, 2004 Author Posted April 6, 2004 Very nice sir. Sorry I couldn't make it. the women, the sun, the beach and the boulders were great in Bellingham. Hey ff- We might get back up there for Canary in a couple of weeks... Quote
Timcb Posted April 7, 2004 Posted April 7, 2004 Nice- I was wondering what you've been up to pzack. I'll have to congratulate American Mike on his fine boot 'n' rally. Quote
Pencil_Pusher Posted April 9, 2004 Posted April 9, 2004 Only fitting you got to use der munter hitch, climbing with the deutschlander. Saber is so funny in the stories it produces. Nice TR, dorkus Quote
Squid Posted April 9, 2004 Posted April 9, 2004 "Don't mind me! I'm a friggin' Gumby Legend!" That's awesome! That's my new sig! Quote
Figger_Eight Posted April 12, 2004 Posted April 12, 2004 That's the funniest fucking 'Saber' TR I've ever read. I'll second that Quote
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