TurtleSoup Posted January 8, 2004 Posted January 8, 2004 Hounded by Internet Chatroom Banshees A new Colorado resident named Dan - (certainly NOT to be confused with Dan - of speed climbing fame) has posted extensive paranoid schizophrenic writings on a website, traveled to the ends of the earth, and finally left his home in Partlond, Oregon in order to get away from what he calls “the voices in my computer” and “ the Banshees of internet chatrooms around the world”. Dan has harassed and threatened to sue just about everyone that he’s corresponded with over the last two years, including some of his own multiple personalities. He’s currently in sabbatical near Eagle, Colorado where he can “keep a close watch on the Kobe Bryant case”. - has stated that he suspects Bryant’s records are “false, unverifiable, and ridiculously exaggerated. His signature in the hotel register proves it all! When you compare it to his Martian passport and then compare his DNA to Canadian dairy cattle it’s obvious!” - expects to be called to the stand as an expert witness in the Bryant case. When asked if he knows some people think his claims are outlandish he replied “Who?!?! I’ll sue them! Those people know I’ll refute their claims on my website and in court! Who do they think they are? I’ll get them out of my computer and back into my dog where they belong!” For now, this reporter eagerly awaits the next time - refuses to take his medications so we can get an update on this story. Reporting from the Eagle Valley Psychological Compound, this is Turtle Soup Quote
willstrickland Posted January 8, 2004 Posted January 8, 2004 From the article: “I believe that the reason I smoke and drink every day and my wife is overweight is because we watched TV every day for the last four years,” Dumouchel stated in a written complaint against the company, included in a Fond du Lac police report. “But the reason I am suing Charter is they did not let me make a decision as to what was best for myself and my family and (they have been) keeping cable (coming) into my home for four years after I asked them to turn it off.” and Timothy Dumouchel of West Bend wants $5,000 or three computers, and a lifetime supply of free Internet service from Charter Communications to settle what he says will be a small claims suit. They should put this jerkoff in prison for filing a frivolous lawsuit, or just beat him with some coaxial cable until he bleeds from the ears. Cable company stole the "off" button on your remote too huh fat-ass Quote
sobo Posted January 9, 2004 Posted January 9, 2004 They should put this jerkoff in prison for filing a frivolous lawsuit, or just beat him with some coaxial cable until he bleeds from the ears. Cable company stole the "off" button on your remote too huh fat-ass That, and bill the fuckstick for the 4 years of free cable anyway. Quote
Dan_Harris Posted January 9, 2004 Posted January 9, 2004 Must . . . Have. . . cc.com. . . . I can't help myself. I log on and there it is. Agggggghhhhh!!!!! Quote
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