2003 CAJ and the death of understatement

[jordop]

[rant] Holy shit, what ever happened to editing? This years issue feels so damn bloated. Granted there is definitely more activity, but whatever happened to the days when the regional reports were like 4 lines: "So and so put up a direct start on Northgraves. . . " which we all know would have been a fuckin epic, but no one felt the need to mention it.

 

Christ, like three pages for a regional climb. Yes, there should be more focus on the regional sections, but I really don't care for five paragraphs elucidating on the breakfast consumed before the climb. One anonymous contributor goes into remarkable detail about the previous recons done for the climb. IT DOESN'T MATTER!

 

Makes us look like a bunch of fuckin pussies is what it does!

 

Demystifaction of the wild and all that bullshit. Like berdinka said to me this year, : "I spent years sussing out the approaches in SW BC and when McLane put out Alpine Selective, all that work was put to waste" and any johnny-come-lately alpine gumblie can walk up with his latte into the Chehalis, which was once the rarified world of those will to take the risk in hardass bushwhacking.

 

I'm gonna be a crank when I'm old! [/rant]

[Dru]

... but mostly you are mad because THEY DIDNT PRINT YOUR CHESTBEATING ABOUT BACK OF BEYOND BUTTRESS because IT DIDNT MEASURE UP TO THE EDITORIAL STANDARDS

[jordop]

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Edited June 11, 2021 by jordop

[lummox]

just say no to spray.

[jordop]

All your spray belongs here

[layton]

What the fuck did i do to make it in the AAJ?

didn't you mean acidents of north american mtneering?

[jordop]

You said you sent something to AAJ? No? You mean all that lovely spray is going unrepported to the masses? It's just floating around in the limbo of two brains, undisseminated to the masses. OHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

Okay back to the topic, doesn't anyone care that the hardman genre of reporting is slipping away and getting pussified?

 

"Back of Beyond" all started when Druid Spractshed told me to go do some stupid horn up the Nahatlatch. Being his bitch, I automatically went. Mike and I were pounding pretty heavy the night before, Pabst, I think, and Drool's horn was a regular piece of shit, but then we saw in our hazy hangovers THE CLIMB TO MAKE "DANGEROUS DUNG BUILDUP" REALLY SORRY HE TAUNTED US! I think I had fruitloops for breakfast and the sky was a wonderful shade of orange in that beautiful time in September. Ah, they call this the magic hour. Morning not quite over, the day not quite begun, and somewhere out there Scott Baio was plowing a woman he didn't love.

 

The dust on the road was stirring meditatively as we trod down the road to meet the hunchback of the man working on the machinery . . . . blah, blah, blah, endless pussified drivel

[erik]

it's canyuckada what do you expect?

 

 

[jordop]

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Edited June 11, 2021 by jordop

[erik]

jordop said:

Implying we're pussies up here? Shit dude, i just killed a seal with a club for my breakfast

 

i skull punched a pig and then ripped the bacon from its loins and then i fished a couple of nice eggs from the chickens bunger.

 

tuff! u used a weapon!

 

[Crackbolter]

So is anyone sending anything to Harlin this year? I hope the enchainment gets mentioned.

[pms]

crackbolter,

 

lots of cool new stuff, yous included. Colin Haley and Gordy Skoog are collecting information for Harlin and the AAJ. You should send them something.

[slaphappy]

no offense pms, but crackbolter, you know how I feel about that...

[Crackbolter]

Edited August 14, 2003 by Crackbolter