Dru Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 A penguin walks into a bar and sits down at the bar stool. "Hey bartender! Gimme a beer!" "Aren't you a penguin?" asks the bartender. "Yeah buddy, now where's that beer?" "Well, did you know we have a drink named after you? Maybe you'd like to try that instead of just havin' a beer?" "No shit, you have a drink named Irving?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Q: Why don´t you see Penguins in Britain? A: Because they´re afraid of Wales. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted March 25, 2003 Author Share Posted March 25, 2003 The Seven Dwarfs are on a vacation in Europe and receive an audience with the Pope. As the oldest, Dopey serves as spokesman for his mates. Standing before the Pope, Dopey asks, "Your excellency, are there any dwarf nuns in Vatican City?" The Pope thinks for a moment and says, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Vatican City." This makes the other six dwarfs snicker. Dopey then asks, "Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns in Europe?" "No," the Pope responds. "There are no dwarf nuns in Europe." Hearing this, the other six dwarfs fall to the floor, laughing and howling. Dopey looks at the Pope and says, "Sir, are there any dwarf nuns in the world?" "No, my son," the Pope says. "There are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world." With this, the other six dwarfs began chanting, "Dopey made love to a penguin! Dopey made love to a penguin!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fejas Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 trask said: Q: Why don´t you see Penguins in Britain? A: Because they´re afraid of Wales. I'm afraid of Wales. I have to build up an enormous amount of saliva just to ask for directions in that country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted March 25, 2003 Author Share Posted March 25, 2003 A guy is walking down the street and he´s really horny. so he goes to the first whore house he sees. He only has five dollars, so they kick him out. The guy goes to the next one. But, since he only has five dollars, he gets kicked out. So, by this time, he´s really super horny, so he goes to the next one and says: "Look, I only have five dollars. I´m really horny and I need a blow job for 5 dollars!" The guy there says: "OK, for five dollars we can give you a penguin." "What´s a penguin?" "You´ll see." So, the guy takes the 5 dollars and leads the horny man to a bedroom. The man unzips his pants and waits for his "penguin". Soon a whore comes in and starts giving the guy a blow job. Just as he´s about to let loose, she stops and walks away. Now the horny guy with his pants at his ancle, waddles after her, shouting... "HEY! WHAT´S A PENGUIN?!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg_W Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 I got a whole new view of penguins reading Shackleton's book and how tasty certain types were versus other types. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 they taste like pussy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Figger_Eight Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 A penguin goes to see his brother in-law in Arizona. Car breaks down. "No, it's ice cream." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg_W Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 trask said: they taste like pussy Smell like fish, taste like chicken, you mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted March 25, 2003 Author Share Posted March 25, 2003 "and the ice cream was THIS LONG" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Greg_W said: trask said: they taste like pussy Smell like fish, taste like chicken, you mean? yeah, that's it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoboy Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Why don't polar bears eat penguins? They can't get the wrappers off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted March 25, 2003 Author Share Posted March 25, 2003 (edited) Edited March 25, 2003 by Dru Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Dru said: if only you had left the last sentence out that would be one of the great non-sequitirs of cc.com "I own a fast, red sports car; women love me." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonanon Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 "flappinumm..." :>( )< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoboy Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Dru said: if only you had left the last sentence out that would be one of the great non-sequitirs of cc.com done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted March 25, 2003 Author Share Posted March 25, 2003 (edited) snoboy said: Dru said: if only you had left the last sentence out that would be one of the great non-sequitirs of cc.com done. waitaminit, you can't fool me, its because they live in different hemispheres! Edited March 25, 2003 by Dru Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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