layton

ok, i sent it to alpinst after some helpful revisions from Jordop and Catbirdseat (thank you guys!). Feel free to petition alpinst to include this article at submissions@alpinist.com ...politely (that means you polishbob)

i looked for it a couple years ago, but it obviously had moved on

are these the ones with a blue plastic attachment system and have frontpoints that weight 1 pound? if so i've got em and give them a gold star. just make sure on hard steepish ice thatyour tennis shoes are wide enough in front cuz they wind up pushing through the front of the crampon causing LOTS o' pain and the fronpoint gets further and further back.

taint big enough either

nice work and great pics. can't believe how fat that looks. fun

Yeah, the leader is the one on the sharp end of the rope. simple as that.

I may actually steal some of Dru's additions

OK, i fixed some MAJOR errors (i was REALLY REALLY drunk when I 1st wrote this trip report), but i'd like to tighten this up to 500 words. any good ideas. i am a very bad editor. Fecal Hoarding on Cuttroat Peak: Well I'm totally wasted on tequilla from from a post-climb depression/celebration of a succesful ascent of that E.Face Coulior on Cuthroat Peak. I think it's called the Cauthorn Wilson or something. Since I'm totally fucking drunk, I'll give this trip report from the perspective of my feces which I hoarded througout the day: I forced my master to awaken at 2am and hypnotically sugested that he quaff his regurgitated coffe vile he brewed hours earlie to help coax me out of my early alpine start slumber. Well it was to damn early and the coffee wasn't strong enough, and as each crunch from the hard snow sent parastalic waves of anger through me. I knew my time was near as each jolt tried to jostle me from me moorings. Unforetunately as dawn broke below the route, my arch nemisis "Pinchy" kept me at bay as my master haphazardly climbed well above his so called "partner". Sending showeres of ice and snow onto his cursing belay bitch, Pinchy held me from my destiny. Alas! My master hast forsaken me!! Thoughts of imentent death were all my master could think of as he manged to live through the rapidly melt and delaminating crux pitch of ice. Where was I during this insane fight with potential energy, gravity and mortality? I was lurking in the bowels, biding my time, and waiting for pinchy to lose control. Master's so called "partner" led a easy WI-4 pitch and belayed Master and I from a tied off shrub and sunken ice-tool. I was begining to force my way into Master's concsciousness until the sight of that belay, and master's next lead all but destoyed my will. Pinchy quickly regained control. My master prayed to his god as he pinched Pinchy tighter and tighter as his death fall potential increased with every sketchy, shaky, sugar snow over slabby step, slipping, but somehow gaining ground. 60, 70, 80 degree slush and powder snow barely held his feet, nary his useless ice-tools. Every inch was a mile, every step was a step toward the grave for yours truly. Would I ever experience the taste of freedom and witness the sweets smells, sights, and sounds of the outside world that I have only experience my previous existance as a jumbo steak burrito? Master could not use his tools on the near verticle slush-mare! He punched the snow with his hands and packed in more snow until it became dense enough to swing his tool into. Instead of pushing down on the snow, Master would bear hug the snow to keep it still attached to the mountain. Master was looking at a 400' whipper onto the none-to-secure belay, as the sun's pulsing rays oscillated down upon the ever-softening snow pack. At last, a cam, a pin! Master was off belay! Such relaxation caused my power to become almost overwhelming as my noxios gas of joy escaped from his churning bowels. The oppresive heat almost overcame him, as master looked across the sweeping range of the North Cascades. But Master's attention was quikly divered. "Fools!" my master thought when he saw two climbers approaching the entrance gully to the climb below him. I knew that this late in the day would be foolish, even to a turd worming his way to freedom. Master hoped they would turn around or perish. The climbers realized their error in timing, and turned around. Master smirked and brought up his partner. On the summit my master tried with all his might to keep me at bay. There was little room and he was emabarrase to show me to this climbing partner of his. I was writhing and screaming with indignity. To "top-off" the summit is the greatest honor one of my charcter can possilbe have, and my horrible master would deny me this fate. Oh! Cruel Master! Many stupid rappels later led master to a 1,000' long down climb which he downclimbed just fine. His partner however, took about 45 minutes longer, all the whilee cursing masters good name! His partner called him reckless for descending so fast un-roped! But this was my doing. Master would finally have to stop and wait. Master did just that, and squatted while looking upon his downclimbing partner. The sun was blazing. The time was at HAND!!! Pinchy was exhausted and had no power over me anymore. I leaped for freedom into the new world which my tribal leaders of yore told me of during my rite of passage through Master's G.I. tract. I steamed and coiled upon the snow, all the while his partner downclimbed slowly. I was buried this day upon the southern flanks of Cutthroat peak, but i exist still as part of everything. I have become the soil, the water, the air, and the animals. I speak now of a universal tale of battels between man vs. mountain and, my kind vs. Pinchy, gatekeeper of the underworld.

hasn't it been raining for 3-4 weeks now?

thank you!!!!!!!!!!!! you kept it alive for another month or two

the only really drawback is of course we have worse weather in the winter.

should've read "local hardman"

sweet, after we meet, we can bivy legally in the parking lot

i'm moving to canada

still on hold due to the fact my computer is older than heck, and also waitin' for the new beckey to come out

Hey Folks! Business ain't exactly "Booming" Now is the time to buy that sticker, t-shirt, mug, ect... that you always wanted. I want to be able to keep this little store in business. NO, i don't make ANY profit. All the proceeds have gone into keeping it running. and YES! i will do a custom design with any images on any product, maybe even something that's not there. Thanks to all those who've supported me! -Mike

Hey Folks! Business ain't exactly "Booming" Now is the time to buy that sticker, t-shirt, mug, ect... that you always wanted. I want to be able to keep this little store in business. NO, i don't make ANY profit. All the proceeds have gone into keeping it running. and YES! i will do a custom design with any images on any product, maybe even something that's not there. Thanks to all those who've supported me! -Mike

thanks scott!

hey scott, nice job! so how are conditions over there right now for ice or rock? i left just after the 1st rains and just got back the other day. is the hwy open? thanks! -Mike

Don, Canada sucks. that's why

broughton probably? interested? i'm talking a low key day of laid back craggin. don't care what time as long as it's not early. pm me with your #

gimme a shout.

hey foraker, it's obvious you're coming onto me here...it's really kinda sad. i'll let you teabag me next time i see ya.

i drank all the hard shit

me too