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layton

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Everything posted by layton

  1. Chirstmass Eve, Boulder CO. 11pm Jay and I walk into the strip club, The Bus Stop, and immediately ask if they serve food. "We've got frozen Pizzas" the bouncer quizically replied. "We'll take two!" I just drove from PDX to denver to pick up Jay at the airport and we were both starving. Nothing, not even the gas stations were open. We needed food, and The Bus Stop was the only lit building we could find...not that we minded. Inside the dimly lit room, the throbbing music was countered by a saddness, the kind of saddness one finds at a strip club late at night on Christmass Eve. We order beers and sit back from the dance floor so we aren't expected to stuff our bills into G-strings all night long. A long wait ensues, with plenty of eye candy, until the 1st pizza arrives. It's gone in seconds. More waiting. Then a stripper approaches us, "I ate your 2nd pizza, I was really hungry. It'll be another 40 minutes," she informs us, using her huge breasts like a hypnotists watch, swaying over us. "uuhhhh huhhhh," we drool. I get bored and walk around. Jay makes friends with the waitress. She's a pretty girl and quickly warms up to Jay. She tells Jay she's going to Naropa Institiute to study being a clairvoyant. "You must own your uncertainty," she informs Jay. "Uhhhh huhhhh" he drools. Time passes. "Where the hell is Mike?" Jay wondered. Jay looked around, and finally peered into the foggy glass behind the stage in the lap dance room. Jay found me in back surrounded by strippers, giving them adjustments and massages with a big shit eatting grin on my face. We headed to Cody only to find the whole place had melted out, and drove back down to Ouray after rock climbing in cody and boulder for a couple days. Ouray was a blast, except for New Year's in the Elks Lodge. Everything in S.Mineral and Eureka is in fat, but Birdbrain unfortuneately isn't in. Here's the skylight climb (WI5 M6) me on p1 jj on pitch 3 (sorry jay, no good p2 pic) He I am on a new bolt/gear M6 next to the skylight I didn't take many photos on this trip, but here's a cool pic of ames falls Jay and I went to do the Ames Ice Hose only to get scooped by a party just starting up the 1st rock pitch. The only did the 1st pitch, saying the 2nd looked like shit. I wish they hadn't said that, b/c damned if I wasn't going to do that tomorrw regardless. I wanted it bad. The Ice Hose So the next day I led the rock start (M6) which has the spicey crux 30 above an RP (which wouldn't matter anyway b/c it would be a groundfall). Somehow I didn't die and climbed the rock and ice to the anchor. Jay couldn't figure out my camera and belay me at the same time, so here's a pic of the guy the day before doing it. Jay gave me the 2nd pitch also. It turned out to be a horror show WI6 full 60m pitch. The 1st section was vertical powersnow over rock, encrusted in a rain crust. There was absolutely no good sticks or ice for screws. Then it buldges out on powersnow over rock, and finishes with two more slush mushrooms to an anchor and the upper fat fat fat water ice final pitch. I rained down so much ice on jay in the body wide "ice" ribbon that I thought I killed him at one point (seriously). He stoically followed my pitch of retardedness even in much pain from being constantly nailed by my debris. Here's a picture of the bottom part of the 2nd pitch while rapping down. yummy.
  2. a true jordan peters adventure!
  3. hello from telluride. nice getting some ice in washtington. Wow, funny you guys climbed there. i soloed the main flow on mp 163 4 years ago sans crampons or tools via icicle jamming to impress a girl. i had a fucking hell of a time getting back down. see ya'll back in pdx.
  4. this is what you get for moving the week before Jay and I were supposed to crash on your floor motherfucka
  5. layton

    asgzdxhfjhgrg

    greetings from Ouray. please don't turn my threads into a star treck fan club anymore. that is all.
  6. yeah, i'm kidding dipshit. come on out.
  7. sad news. cody is done for with the warm weather. almost everything fell down.
  8. layton

    asgzdxhfjhgrg

    GDARMAHTRAREGAJERIGAYE%(YAGJERGAT#%(TQ##^T%^QT$ITHJAI%HYAGIROHGAERGTAEIROGHOIAERHGIOAHEIOAEHRGN#%I^QH%#I$THN$I%EYJNI%$JYHGIREJTHIS$^HJYQTJRNGIREGHIO%$HJTAI$WEHG
  9. layton

    asgzdxhfjhgrg

    i'm going to put a drill through my head now. fuck everyone especially you. you suck see you on the flipside the is no dana only zeul
  10. layton

    asgzdxhfjhgrg

    Slain this steepness is cleaving the hobby
  11. layton

    asgzdxhfjhgrg

    Wayne his peakness is peaving the loby!
  12. dude, you are totally harshing on my cool, broseph
  13. It's not too late! www.cafepress.com/alpinist good stuff. so buy it
  14. layton

    asgzdxhfjhgrg

    no, i'm externalizing the pain. AREreaijoa4oth4thawrta3aerhtfGDARARGEAertwuigh9wt4
  15. and for the ever popular board game... ....look out! All the ice is gone, bye bye bye bye!
  16. layton

    asgzdxhfjhgrg

    gnghdt%TY%yhhij htpoij hhthe0ijye5hyjieotnethnzjoetnzaet ethethten k
  17. yeah, you couldn't possible make it to where there's ice in that short amoutn of time off. don't wander too far from home, it's scary.
  18. cool i would rather read about what people climbed and what routes then enjoyed than pages about of useless drivell... but just to fuel the fire.. I don't climb ice with that many folks and this is based solely on my ice climbing partners. Every partner i have that makes an annual trip to the rockies can lead wi5 versus the ones that climb ice lilloet or in wa most of whom many lead 3's maybe the occasional 4.... And the folks that can lead 5's in CA rockies can probably lead WI4's in cody
  19. Sleepin' in a ditch off a ranch exit. merry f'in christmass.
  20. you don't know where I've been
  21. Yeah, followin it was fun, leading it must have been interesting. WI4 for the WI5 leader. Dog house was wi3 for a wi2 leader it was so flippin fat. marcus shamed me out of calling it "Extremo Rad Bra's Burl-Sav Adventure"
  22. thankfully i noticed before calamity stuck.
  23. no fair posting photos someone else took of you (even if they are awesome)
  24. Marcus on Shark Attack Me on Dog House
  25. Fuckin' stupid ass waitstaff takes away my fishstick booty 'fore I could lay claim! Got so mad, Pete was the nearest thing I could get agro on.
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