Johnny_Tuff

Aw, man, I always thought Lion's Jaw was fun. More people should climb it, I think. With the gear they bought after they sold their quickdraws!

Sounds like that's not all you're getting on the rope.

Sounds like you're more likely to run into a grip of alpine hardman wannabes, drowning in self-loathing as they closet-shop the outdoor retail megalith they so vituperously slander in public. "GRRR, where's some core shit I can buy and then return after my dog eats it? Fuck, I hope Twight don't spot me in this prissy joint. Gawd, I hate myself...grrr."

http://www.climbing.com ?

I love that shit. Every year, crags get more crowded, but the most dramatic increase I see is with people climbing cracks. So, yeah, word up, bolted routes suck! Now go enjoy the queue at the base of Lion's Jaw.

You mean, like, that shit costs money, or what?

Let me see if I've got this straight: - REI sucks because they don't carry good gear - REI sucks because they carry good gear and put small stores out of business - REI sucks because their return policy sucks - You shop at REI because of their return policy - You shop at REI and buy gear you hate - You shop at REI, and it is their fault that the small stores go tits-up

Isn't alpine climbing easy as fuck? Why didn't you do something difficult like a sport route, and why are you being rewarded with your own lecture for doing something that any gradeschool dropout with a beer gut could do?

Well, he sure wasn't a musician... Exactly. How much more punk cred does a strung-out misanthrope need?

I thought the ideal was to do so many perfectly-executed Gym Jones workouts and travel so fucking light that your rate of speed naturally prevents falling objects from striking you, and if perchance one did strike you, it would shatter on your structurally perfect delts, thus rendering such niceties as helmets unnecessary. What would Twight do?

Ah, yes, that Sid Vicious was a real poseur.

Perhaps if you employed some tact instead of behaving like Bruce Banner going Hulk, you might have gotten the service you so whiningly claim you deserve. Treating employees like shit because the company that employs them carries a product you don't like (which you for some reason got a second time, even though you hated it the first time--that was brilliant) is a great way to flex your ego while making someone unrelated to the problem feel like shit. I think that blows.

Yesssss!!!

Listen to the shit coming out of your mouth!

Now that is foul.

Or Playboy Mansion poolside babe attacks?

And to think some people find the sciences uninteresting, or even boring! Why, if that doesn't knock off your socks and curl your hair, you don't have a pulse!

What. The. Fuck. D'you suppose "Tornado" is the name of the song? Or the performer? And did you notice any similarities between her killer synthuitar work and the soundtrack to the viking rock? I think she may have been in charge of musical direction for that one. Stunning.

One of the dangers of unchecked sleepwalking when one has a crag in his yard.

Thanks. I may not be able to climb as hard as DFA, but I can PhotoShop like a motherfucker (obviously).

Lord knows, the cancer research field could use more miniature-car replicators to further their studies.

Oh, yeah. Between the wailing guitars and psychedelic viking robot battles, it was hard not to expect Boris & Natasha to stroll onto the screen for some nefarious hijinks. "Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a lightning-shooting battle-axe guitar outta my hat!"

So true. Does anyone actually not climb 5.12 these days?

I think it's Oprah's book of the month for February.

He looks like half of Portland's population circa right now. Fashion forward!