knotzen
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Posts posted by knotzen
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Busted!
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Whats the difference between an orange?
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Sounds like fun. Let me go check my calendar.
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A blind guy walks into a bar and starts knocking stuff off of tables with his cane. The bartender asks him if he can help him and the blind guys replies, "Na I'm just looking around"
That reminds me of cemeteries--where dead people live.
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Very subtle. I have underestimated you...
Are you saying I'm a better sprayer than you thought I was?
Yipppeeee!
And BTW, no bones about it, the joke *was* sort of funny. It just needed to be fleshed out a bit.
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Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here."
One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."
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A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please."
The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can't serve you."
"Why not?" askes the brain.
"You're already out of your head."
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Reasons to Allow Drinking at Work
The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol.
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
15. If something does something stupid on the job, it will be quickly forgotten.
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So what happened with the skeleton and his beer?
That was the joke, in its entirety. C'est tout, c'est fini!
The thought of a skeleton drinking a beer was supposed to be funny. I guess.
Anyway, next?
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What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
The cold shoulder. With a side of
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Moving this thread away from this toiletful of crap and back to its original direction...
<scoot, scoot, scoot>
So, a skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer.
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We're all waiting with baited breath...
You might want to cut down on the herring.
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So, how 'about those Mariners?!
Oops, bad joke.
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Anyway, ahem, moving on.
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You must have saw that one coming?
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Now, I'd have figured it would be a *large* number.
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Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
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Yeah, I didn't think that much of it, either.
The point that how you think about things affect what/how they are (i.e., the power of positive thinking), is a good one, but too much bs lecturing to sit through, for my taste.
Had to force myself to keep watching it more than once.
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Another vote for c-c-c-cold beer.
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Yeah, turns out it was dumb not to lock it up. I just figured it was safe on my carport in mellow, home-town Issacraw. Bummer.
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Build a Bear? WTF?
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Hmmmmmmmm, I seem to have a talent for killing threads with bad jokes.
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Speaking of kix, someone stole my bike last night.
midafternoon joke break
in Spray
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No, but it sure makes my mouth water.