TREETOAD
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Posts posted by TREETOAD
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You will die at the age of 65
You will die of sexual exhaustion
I kind of figured
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AlpineK you are not a bad person, you are just a person that does bad things dear. If you could just count to ten before you make the decisions that end up making you sad things would seem much rosier to you.
I am here to help make a better decision maker out of you!!
Now get out there and make some good decisions darn it!!
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No, really some people like asses that uuumm broad, besides it wouldn't look that big if your legs were about three feet longer. Nice pants though. Sorry but I am just trying to be honest and sincere...and a good friend..please be my friend..I am so fucking lonely..it's easter goddamit do you think I can get invited to fucking dinner? Not one fucking invitation from anyone one of those inconsiderate motherfuckers I call a family..sorry gotta go.
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I am telling you that this whole Jesus thing was just an early Houdini trick,
"First I will drag a huge cross through the streets, then I will have my assistants whip me and put a crown of thorns on my head, nail me to the cross and stab me. Then after a while I will have them drag me into a cave and put a big fucking rock in front of it. I will then disappear and come back three days later looking much better than before."
Great marketing goes a long way to selling a book.
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It is an old Raffi tune
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I been friggin in the riggin for years me mateys!!
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'Twas on the good ship Venus,
*By gad! You should have seen us,
*The figure-head was a whore in bed,
*And the mast a rampant penis.
They called the Captain Slugger,
He was a dirty bugger,
He wasn't fit to shovel shit,
On any bugger's lugger.
His given name was Cooper,
By god he was a trooper,
He jerked and jerked until he worked
Himself into a stupor.
The Captain's daughter Mabel,
Whenever she was able,
She gave the crew their daily screw
Upon the mess-room table.
His daughter wasn't fussy,
She was a brazen hussy,
She'd spread her legs on the brandy kegs,
And show the men her pussy.
His wife was baptized Charlotte,
Who was born and bred a harlot
Her legs at night were lily-white,
But in the morning they were scarlet.
While crossing the equator,
The crew did elevate her,
She bared her ass on the topmost mast,
And dared the crew to mate her.
The first mate's name was Paul
He only had one ball,
But with that cracker he rolled tobacco,
Around the cabin wall.
The second mate's name was Lester,
A virgin hymen tester.
Through hymens thick he shoved his prick
And left it there to fester.
That third mate known as Morgan,
The homosexual Gorgon.
A dozen crows, sat in a row,
Could pose upon his organ.
The lookout's name was Andy,
His legs were long and bandy,
They filled his arse with molten brass,
For pissing in the brandy.
The Captain's randy daughter,
Was swimming in the water,
Delighted squeals came as the eels,
Entered her sexual quarter.
The engineer, McTavish,
The women he did ravish,
His missing tool's at Istambul
He was a trifle lavish.
The cabin boy, the cabin boy,
A dirty little nipper,
He filled his bum with bubble gum,
And vulcanized the skipper.
One sailor's name was Higgins,
And Higgins had a big 'un,
Once round the deck, twice up the mast,
And the rest was used for rigging.
The helmsman's name was Sam,
He liked to roger rams,
It trapped his bollocks during his frolics,
And turned his yard-arm into spam.
The cook whose name was Freeman,
A dirty bloody demon,
He fed the crew on menstrual stew
*And foreskins fried in semen.
Another cook was O Malley,
He didn't dilly-dally.
He shot his bolt with a hell of a jolt,
And whitewashed half the galley.
The ship's dog's name was Rover,
The whole crew did him over.
They ground and ground that faithful hound
From Singapore to Dover.
The Fifth Mate's name was Slater,
He was a masturbator.
He'd pump and pump his massive stump,
And clean the mess up later.
There was Able Seaman Jenkin,
By buggering demented,
He stuffed cement up his fundament,
And relationships cemented.
They saw a Spanish Galleon,
Its figurehead a stallion,
And when they saw it was full of whores,
There wasn't any dallyin'.
On every foot of rigging,
There were sailors frigging,
In the lookout's nest, they'd take a rest,
From their poking and their digging.
'Twas in the Adriatic,
Where the water's almost static,
The rise and fall of cock and ball,
Was almost automatic.
We sailed to the Canaries,
To screw the local fairies;
We got the syph in Tenerife
And the clap in Buenos Aires.
We sailed to the Bahamas,
Where the girls all wear pyjamas;
They wouldn't screw our motley crew -
They much preferred bananas.
While sailing on the ocean,
We'd often get a notion,
In cold and heat to beat our meat,
With a peculiar motion.
Each sailor lad's a brother,
To each and one another,
We'd take great pains at our daisy chains,
Whilst writing home to mother.
Then in search of new sensation,
In the forms of recreation,
The ship was sunk in a wave of gunk
From mutual masturbation.
So now we end this serial,
Through sheer lack of material,
I wish you luck and freedom from,
Diseases venereal.
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Twas on the good ship Venus
By god you should have seen us
2 months alone at sea
I spied a manatee
And a throbin' began in my penis.
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Arrr if it aint old billy bones!! how are ya whidbey!!
can you not figure out the last line of the verse?
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"hint" the third line is,
The figure head was a whore in bed..
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Twas on the good ship Venus
By god you should have seen us
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puffy shirt george?? WTF!!
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To watch magellan's avatar till 3:46 am will fuck you up.
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I think IO caught your cold from reading your post
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It would probably be a good idea to surrender in Iraq first.
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I think Jesus was just Harry Houdini doing one of his early shows.
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What the are you filming with your buddy saying yeah yeah f%*& yeah, anyway? And why would it be sidways in the first place ..unless... he was filming back over his shoulder..
is the video really jerky too?
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Peter Croft climbs
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pump jockey two years
logging seven years
lift mechanic in ski area two years
electrician twenty five years
Still have no money, WTF!!!
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Higher interest rates should take care of 2/3 of those problems. Other than that, I'd eliminate all subsidies and tarriffs, scrap the minimum wage, eliminate the tax deduction for employer sponsored health care and transfer the deduction to individuals for HSA contributions, reduce the capital gains tax to zero, phase out the mortgage interest deduction, raise the maxiumum contributions for Roths and 401(K)'s, eliminate all legislation that forces governments to pay inflated union rates for work that the taxpayers foot the bill for, make every state a right-to-work state, outlaw unions for public employees, and get the line-item veto going for appropriations bills.
Your just an asshole
Boobs!!
in Spray
Posted
That's what you get for jogging