MervGriffin

Sorry to disappoint you, pal. It doesn't function in the killing babies department. Now THIS is what I call funny!:

How sophisticated!

"That Catbirdseat is so insensitive to innocent human life, I'm going to puke!"

Brudah O-White says: "It's funny precisely because it preys on a parent's worst fear..." What an odd conclusion. That's exactly why it's NOT funny. Death of children, accidentally or intentionally, is about as unfunny as you can get. It is the most profound form of tragedy as any caring parent knows. Nor do I laugh at the rape, mutilation or abuse of the same. I recall a certain "avatar" who was kicked off cc.com a year or so ago for offering us a "joke" about raping a two year old. I would hope that any thoughtful adult would agree that this kind of humor is over the line. Babies ARE sacred, and kids deserve a safe and wholesome childhood, ideally devoid of violence and overexposue to adult vices. More O-White: "Sort of reminds me of that picture of a screw you could get to apply over the heart image on one of those "I heart chihuahuas" bumper stickers." I don't equate children with dogs of any size. It's a relatively free country. No one has to agree with me, but I'm offering a perspective about which some might be clueless. P.S. "Stonehead" mentioned Eddie Murphy, George Carlin, Lenny Bruce. If having a foul-mouth tickles your funny-bone, laugh away....it's the cheapest form of humor.

Off-White: Yes. Killing babies is off limits. are you a parent? you think that crap is funny? Stonehead: your reply speaks for itself. Have a nice day.

Anyone who thinks this is funny is a moron. I might have chuckled at this when I was really young, extremely immature, utterly insensitive and profoundly ignorant. Now that I am older and more importantly, a parent, this stuff makes me sick. Grow up.

What kind of bicycle seats do you think these folks be straddling? ? ? ? or more likely, this by itself:

How 'bout them hippies! Here's a photo of a crowd of them rejoicing at the news that the commune's washing machine will not be repaired for yet another week!

Hey selfish American grid-bolter! Put down that drill and play with us! More fun than Exit 38!

SAMMICH! (Click Here) "Someone say BL-T?"

So Scotty....this dog you're so dang proud of....is he a roaster or a fryer?

Lance is constantly accused of this kind of stuff by LOSERS who can't deal with the fact that through talent, discipline and training, someone can be as good as he is without being doped up. Especially after beating cancer which would have killed most others. And keep this reality check in mind: Lance Armstrong makes most climbers look like really wussies. Observe: Most climbers and those who bad-mouth Lance: MIGHTY LANCE himself: Any more questions?.....I didn't think so.

Dude: Too bad you're not interested in monkeys and such. They're a dime a dozen. e.g.:

Mystic Natcho....You's definitely NOT making six figures NOR playing golf with the President. Now get your butt back to the library and finish school and maybe you can evolve from this: to this: Good luck! - Merv

Is there some humor to found in this post? Does said hirsute Frenchy possess the necessary jurisdiction and sufficient authority to grant me "a spot" on said boulder? Does a direct translation of "Philosopher's Stone" from French really constitute a "punch line"? Is there even a legitimate genre of "bouldering humor"? Check out the Joke-Box, my friend, and come back in a few weeks when you're inspired. The Joke Box here's lookin' at ya! - Merv

Guy up above wrote: "employed - check. Bonus points for 6 figures right?" Dude...."6 figures" is becoming such a cliché! It's highly unlikely that you're commanding that kind of dough unless you're hanging your butt off a fishing boat in Alaska for six months and you survive and they have an exceptionally good season, or, you're driving truck in Iraq, or, you're pushing frivilous law suits, fixing rotten teeth, or giving prostate exams, or you've just invented the latest craze. Or in my case, managing successful talk and game shows. Big Wall Bouldering will not bring in the big bucks. By the way, every schmo that calls into a talk show makes "six figures" as does everyone who brags in a bar..In reality, it's HIGHLY STINKIN' UNLIKELY and most babes are catching on. So Merv's advice is: impress the ladies with your sparkling personality, mister, and you (and they) will not be disappointed! If you don't believe me, just ask some of my friends! Love, Merv

Cousin Jon: Check these out although they're a bit on the pricey size: High-Quality Panda Suits Note that the deluxe head unit contains a built-in fan for the comfort of the Panda-dude. Although Panda's are always popular, you might consider some of these classics: Disgruntled Flying Insect (a good choice for frightening the li'l ones) Jolly Eggplant (essential for taking out your favorite gal to that trendy Greek restaurant) Crazy Monkey!: (no instructions necessary) or Astonished Sport-Climber complete with multi-colored lycra ensemble and a penchant for sequence-miming.

The hardest route in the Cascades is the one having the most fun.

Dave Schuldt opines: "With our troops tied down in Iraqnam Saudia Aradia gets more unsable by the day. The Wahibi (sp?) sect of Islam is very scarry." So is your spelling, buddy! ("The Wahibi......is that a new dance craze?)

Gordon B. say: "Wilderness areas need to be truely wilderness areas. Banning a bolts then paving a road into the park is bullshit. Bolted routes are lower impact than most trails let alone roads." Get a grip, man. That kind of specious argument don't cut it. It's like the old saw that gets passed around that says: why should we bitch about those lame bolts which support mixed pitches up at Snoqualmie when there are major ski areas nearby? The fact is, the paved roads, the ski areas AND the bolts are controversial. As climbers, the bolts are definitely within our domain of concern. You can say it's a matter of scale, but that doesn't absolve climbers from their behavior, and not everyone sees this issue at the same resolution. Gordon B says more: "I will admit that some places are over bolted. But pulling bolts at Smith? That is already a bolt garden. It is not a pristine wilderness area, if you don't want to clip the bolts, don't. Same thing at Vantage." Maybe most of those bolts don't belong there and there existence now doesn't necessarily justify their future. There are ample natural lines at Vantage without the plethora of stupid bolted routes there and Smith Rocks is just a plain embarassment. I remember that place before Alan Watts and the sport-climbing pseudo-"revolution" plastered the dihedrals with their metallic litter. Many of the routes there (with some exceptions) required that you step up to the plate and lead them naturally as they were or otherwise enjoy a nice hike around those beautiful crags. Gordon B. again speaks: "People have rushed to climbing. If you don't accomodate them they will overrun the traditional areas. Banning bolts will just make more people take up trad climbing and the destruction of the apporach and base areas will make bolts look like nothing." I SERIOUSLY DOUBT IT. Sport climbing requires little training and little commitment. I suspect that the majority of folks, if deprived of the convenience, ease, and safety of sport climbing, would NOT make the bold step to trad climbing which requires a great deal more training, commitment and gear than a two hour gri-gri lesson and a fist-full of quickdraws.

Off White: "Would you prefer the term "dislike"?" Yes, that is more preferable than "hate". Perhaps "strongly dislike" is closer to the mark. Off-White: "What avenue for cheastbeating do you have left besides climbing on a soapbox to rage about ethical purity and sport cleansing?" Dude. Once again, your analysis of my thoughts and aims are very presumptive and basically inaccurate. I have no personal need to "chestbeat". I'm perfectly content with the state of my climbing abilities and achievements. If I want attention, I prefer it be the happy positive kind which is easily achieved by making posts about being drunk, idolizing Big Lou, or eating burritos. I do, however, feel that I have a valuable viewpoint that needs to be shared, no matter how unpleasant some might perceive it. Off-White: "How much more pure are you asking the sport to be?" I don't care for the whole sport-climbing phenomenon which is by nature bolt-dependent and thus utterly reliant upon fixed gear. Its very ease promotes crowding and the proliferation of bolted routes. A Bosch, the ability to rappel, and a big ego are all that are needed to install yet another PERMANENT "creation". Perhaps you would agree with me that a minimum of fixed gear is preferable in a "leave as little trace as possible" ethic. Sport-climbing defies this ethic. Look at the evidence. Go out to Vantage and look around; it's a disgrace (and I don't buy into the argument that it's just another choss pile so who cares). ditto Smith Rocks, etc. Not everything needs to be climbed on lead. A top-rope with fixed anchors would relieve vast amounts of bolts. (Note I am not 100% completely opposed to fixed anchors or bolts....they have their small place, and if used, should be RARE and safe.) Maybe some rock should be left alone if it can't be climbed without leaving a permanent trail? Maybe the manufacturers of sport-routes should think twice about their impact? Can you agree with that? We can evolve past sport-climbing and years from now look on it as a fun but sordid and selfish historical permutation.

Off White says: "It somehow seems fitting that you would choose the image of shit on an AIDS ribbon as a graphic emblem of the disdain you hold for other climbers. What is your symbolic subtext here, do you perhaps also have some diatribe about how "gay cancer" will get rid of people you don't like in the same way that limiting access and banning bolts will eliminate all those climbers you hate?" It's not an "AIDS" ribbon, it's a corsage! and "hate" is a rather strong word to impose on someone you really don't know. If I choose to use the word "hate", I'll do it myself. If you fancy yourself a sub-text interpreter, and (pseudo) psychologist don't quit your day-job ["when climbing made you feel special" "and your dream is to limit climbing and narrow the definitions to resemble your memories" THOSE ARE QUITE THE STATEMENTS, PARDNER! ]. Should I give up certain deeply held values of mine because so many have abandoned them (or more likely aren't aware of them)? As I mentioned long ago when this stuff came up, it doesn't matter if the clean climbing ethos was articulated in 1972, 1972 B.C., or 2004, I continue to find it absolutely appealing and relevant. I really don't see much of what goes on in rock climbing today to be "progress". Off-White again: "it's the hatred and cold dismissal you wield towards those who don't conform to your behavioral mandates that often make you a bitter and unwelcome presence." Your gratuitous use of the word "hate" is again disturbing. If expressing an unpopular viewpoint makes me unwelcome, that speaks for itself. I don't require that anyone conform, (climbers rarely do), and I have no real power of enforcement of my views or yours other than persuasion. I am not the only one who subscribes to my perspective, however, and although it isn't as fun as the "do whatever you want whenever you want" school of thought, unrestrained behavior will, and is having, its consequences (e.g. the Joshua Tree bolt ban). No, it ain't "all good" as some are fond of saying. My Golden Age isn't 30 years ago, pal, it's now, and I have every right to throw my two cents into the idea arena. Have a nice day. P.S. They's all likes me when I'm cute and funny with the giggly stories and the silly pictures. Express a "radical" perspective and.....watch out! I'm hateful!

Some brief observations: a) what pope said. b) I hope that this attempt to thwart a Google-search with "blt"=bolt and clambing=climbing is truly a joke because if it isn't, you're either paranoid or you feel that you have something to hide. c) meetings about access seemed to be kept, at least initially, within the domain of a select few who were believed to have the "proper" uniform and uninflammatory attitude. They were probably afraid that the likes of Dwayner and pope might show up and give the impression that there isn't a consensus about this stuff in the climbing "community". Guess what. There is no consensus and some of us wouldn't mind seeing that Garfield route go away. d) it's not about the bolts???? A large number of today's climbers are attracted to the ease and convenience of sport climbs like flies to dung. I would venture to say that the short learning curve to achieve satisfaction is quite appealing. And I would guess that given a bolting ban, that a large number of these sporto's would bother to invest in the time and equipment to climb trad and clean on the rock or in the mountains. No wonder there has been a dramatic increase of traffic on Mt. Garfield. Clip and go! e) the "leave few traces" ethic that the hiking/backpacking community has embraced over the last few decades has surprisingly not had the same impact on some climbers, who install and leave their metallic waste on the rock, or in the mountains, sometimes closely spaced and occasionally next to cracks. f) "Dwayner" was banned for vociferously advocating these viewpoints and predicted that this would become an issue. There IS dissension in the ranks and stifling "unpleasant" viewpoints will not make it go away. I think, for example, that the bolting ban in Joshua Tree was a step in the right direction and a ban on additional bolted routes in the mountains would not bother me one bit. g) climbers gotta clean up their act or The Man is going to do it for them in The Man's own way. Bolts are an issue, and pretending that it isn't so, doesn't make it not so. h) it's a shame that I am apparently unwelcome to discuss ethical topics unless it is placed in the department of "Spray". Based on previous experience, serious and vociferous commentary on this subject posted in other arenas here will likely get you banned or censored. Ethics = Spray? - Merv/Dwayner P.S. Read This and Think

I don't know who the best President is, but word on the street is that "the best climber is the one having the most fun!". Yeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

I believe the name be "Dwayner".