Ron Paul' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Ron Paul counted to infinity - twice.
Ron Paul does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Ron Paul goes killing.
If you can see Ron Paul, he can see you. If you can't see Ron Paul you may be only seconds away from death.
Ron Paul sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Ron roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Ron Paul.
Ron Paul built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Ron Paul met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Ron Paul has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
They once made a Ron Paul toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
A blind man once stepped on Ron Paul' shoe. Ron replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Ron Paul!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Ron Paul.