jordop

DEMOCRATIC >You have two cows. >Your neighbor has none. >You feel guilty for being successful. >You hide your guilt. >Barbara Streisand sings for you and Whoopie Goldberg tells you dirty jokes. >Your party loses the election again. > >REPUBLICANISM >You have two cows. >Your neighbor has none. >So? > >SOCIALIST >You have two cows. >The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. >You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. > >COMMUNIST >You have two cows. >The government seizes both and provides you with milk. >You wait in line for hours to get it. >It is expensive and sour. > >CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE >You have two cows. >You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. > >BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE >You have two cows. >Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the >other, and then pours the milk down the drain. > >AMERICAN CORPORATION >You have two cows. >You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. >You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised >when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating >you have downsized and are reducing expenses. >Your stock goes up. > >FRENCH CORPORATION >You have two cows. >You go on strike because you want three cows. >You go to lunch and drink wine. >Life is good. > >JAPANESE CORPORATION >You have two cows. >You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and >produce twenty times the milk. >They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. >Most are at the top of their class at cow school. > >GERMAN CORPORATION >You have two cows. >You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent >quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. >Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year. > >ITALIAN CORPORATION >You have two cows but you don't know where they are. >While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. >You break for lunch. >Life is good. > >RUSSIAN CORPORATION >You have two cows. >You have some vodka. >You count them and learn you have five cows. >You have some more vodka. >You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. >The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have. > >TALIBAN CORPORATION >You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. >You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature' >private parts. >You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to >milk production but use the money to buy weapons. > >IRAQI CORPORATION >You have two cows. >They go into hiding. >They send radio tapes of their mooing. > >POLISH CORPORATION >You have two bulls. >Employees are regularly maimed attempting to milk them. > >BELGIAN CORPORATION >You have one cow. >The cow is schizophrenic. >Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. >The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. >The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. >The cow asks permission to be cut in half. >The cow dies happy. > >FLORIDA CORPORATION >You have a black cow and a brown cow. >Everyone votes for the best looking one. >Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote >for the black one. >Some people vote for both. >Some people vote for neither. >Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. >Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is >the best-looking cow. > >CALIFORNIA CORPORATION >You have millions of cows. >They make real California cheese. >Only five speak English. >Most are illegals. >Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

Shorts over stripey polypro

Too bad about your lungs..... it was indeed sick pow. Runs into Oboe Creek were especially fine. "knock knock . . " "who's there?" "FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!"

Spent two days coughing up brown lung berries while the homies ripped it up in the sick pow on the Musical Mounds. Second w/e in 3 months wasted to the sickness. Gotta stop goin to those fetish parties at the zoo

Hope yer celebratin your 28th with a nice bottle of Mad Dog 20/20

Was out at CosthypercapitalismCo today in fact; it's a poly/lycra deal I think, but there is no waist cord, and the zippers are massive gauge affairs. Nice fabric, but poorly finished

Yeah, but they had each taken *FIVE* NOLS courses

Mount Ling: Upper Nahatlatch: each boulder is about ten feet tall:

Jesus Dru, you get dumped on the Holodeck again or something? Combining and synthesizing a pretty shitty year (with oddly enough, some funny moments) into one piece was pretty cool and you are just fucking bitter that the only camera crew that tracked you down was after you won the Chilliwack Dungeons and Dragons Marathon And Mike, "The Saint"? don't you think you're romanticizing and revising the past, when you weren't so poor and had working feet. Try to remember the other reasons why you left for Vegas

they stopped making them 5 months ago i got a closet full

NF Luna?

Is that Aragorn?????

skier's thumb. I got two of 'em Both from bad daffys

T h e F i n a l E x a m FROM: The Harvard Gazette of May 17, 1991 T H E F I N A L E X A M INSTRUCTIONS: Read each question thoroughly. Answer all questions. Time limit --four (4) hours. Begin immediately. History: Describe the history of the Papacy from its origin to the present day, concentrate specially but not exclusively, on the social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific. Biology: Create life. Estimate the difference in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed five hundred years earlier, with special attention to probable effects on the English Parliamentary system. Prove your thesis. Physics: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science. Literature: Compose an epic poem based on the events of your own life in which you see and footnote allusions from T.S. Eliot, Keats, Chaucer, Dante, Norse myrhology and, the Marx Brothers. Critique your poem with a full discussion of its metrics. Psychology: Employing principles from the major schools of psychoanalytic thought, successfully subject yourself to analysis. Make appropriate personality changes, bill yourself and fill out all medical insurance forms. Now do the same to the person seated to your immediate left. Agricultural Science: Outline the steps involved in breading your own super high yield, all weather hybrid strain of wheat. Describe its chemical and physical properties and estimate its impact on world food supplies. Construct a model for dealing with worldwide surpluses. Write your Nobel Prize acceptance speech. Music: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate it and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat. Sociology: Estimate the sociological problems that might accompany the end of the world. Show how boy meets girl theory developed. Construct an experiment to test your theory. Comprehension: three minute time test. Read everything before doing anything. Put your name in the upper right hand corner of this page. Circle the word name in sentence three. Sign your name under the title of this paper, after the title write “yes, yes, yes.” Put an X in the lower left hand corner of this paper. Draw a triangle around the X you just put down. On the back of this paper multiply 703x668. Loudly call out your name when you get to this point. If you think you have followed the directions carefully to this point call out “I have.” Punch three small holes in the top of this paper. If you are the first person to get this far, call out “I am the first person to this point, I am leading in following directions.” On the reverse side of this paper add 8950 and 9850. Put a cirlce around your answer and put a square around the circle. Now that you have finished reading carefully, do only sentence two. Logic: Using accepted methodology prove all four of the following: that truth is beauty; that there is not a little person who turns off the light in the refrigerator when you close the door, and that you are the person taking the exam. Now disprove all of the above. Be specific; show all work. Economics: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method from all points of view. Point out deficiencies in your point of view as demonstrated in your answer to the last question. Philosophy: Sketch the development of the human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought. Computer Science: Define computer. Define Science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all computer decisions. Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm, design the communications interface and all the necessary control programs. Political Science: There is a red telephone on the desk behind you. Star World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any. Medicine: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your own appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes. Public Speaking: 2,500 riot crazed students are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin and Greek. Extra Credit: Give today’s date --in metric.

I do believe your grusome drusome visage has soiled its flanks

Looks like a full on mixed route on this thing. Though that is sorta like looking at any blank cliff and saying "there's a 5.15 up there"

Nice catch, Jordop!

Tho maybe not given that the larger lobe always protrudes farther into the crack . . . any enginshmeers out there

Hmm, the stem is always closer to the larger lobes, any shifting around is gonna pivot on the smaller lobes methinks. Better buy some new shoes for those babies while you're at it, cuase they're gonna do some walkin

Hence the highest rate of STDs in BC, if I am not mistaken...

i'm in. there'd need to be beer. maybe the room upstairs at the Howe Sound Brew Pub? any other suggestions? also, while that's OK for Vancouver/Squamish/ Whistler folk, it's a ways to go from Bellingham and Seattle. comments? cheers, A big vote for this; allows for some emergency skiing or even *rock* climbing if this Tropical Punch weather continues

buy Layton's shit now before it becomes collector's items

.

Although ... this is nice