JayB

The solemn tone of the grizzled, weary heretic who can only muster the energy to issue forth one...last...morsel of wisdom before the ravages of confronting the status quo expedite his exit from the world would be considerably heightened by modifying the final sentence in the following manner. [Raspy voice]"Booga Booga....[pregnant-pause, exhales, looks skyward]...in-DEED."[Dies. Eyes remain fixed open. Pan camera towards the dystopian nightmare landscape which represents the manifestation of all of the things that he valiantly struggled against, ultimately to no effect, and for which all succeeding generations will pay the price..]

I'm sorry - what was that? Someone tapped me on the shoulder and let me know that I'd be running the sing-a-long during the bonfire at the Bohemian Grove this year, and I was busy tweaking the algorithm a bit, so I didn't quite catch that last comment. Carry-on.

I'm off to knock off a 7-11 and donate some plasma to fund the excursion as we speak... If want, privation, or any other misfortune should compel you to visit Boston at any point before next July, we'll gladly reciprocate. Seriously though - we're contemplating a return to Squistler for the annual get-away in early March, so we'll be in touch if it pans out.

How do you know that I am not, at this very moment, posting from the interior of one of the control centers established to program your perceptions through "Alternative" news available on the Internet, and that everything that you have come to believe is not the end-result of a marketing scheme that has been packaged in order to appeal to a distinct sub-set of the marketplace identified by a proprietary set of algorithms that has been monitoring both your thoughts and your every move since well before the time you even became aware of the alphabet, let alone the "military industrial complex"? Booga - it hardly needs to be said - Booga!

From Conan O Brian. Get your scrolling finger ready... "Afghanistan The bad news is, there's a new article about everyone farming opium. The good news is, you can't read. Albania The perfect getaway for people who love Kosovo, but hate the working phone service. Algeria It took you eight years to beat France. Andorra How does it feel, being Luxembourg's bitch? Angola Hey, call me when your life expectancy catches up with your inflation rate. Azerbaijan Believe it or not, you can use oil for more than just killing seals. Bahamas It takes a lot of rum to forget your major export is crawfish. Bahrain A thriving center of trade and culture... until 2000 BC! Bangladesh If you can hear this, your television isn't underwater. Congratulations! Barbados There simply isn't a more beautiful island... to sail by on your way to Jamaica. Belarus Clay, sand, and chalk: Your richest natural resources are what a toddler throws up after a big day at preschool. Belgium The only European country to never successfully invade Belgium. Belize Get your camera; they're paving a road! Benin Keep practicing those voodoo spells and maybe someday you'll be as rich as Rwanda. Bhutan So they took away your freedom of the press? Who needs it when your only headline is "Bhutan Continues to Suck?" Bolivia Remember kids, you must be at least nine years old to overthrow the goverment. Bosnia & Herzegovina Nothing spells a bright future like signing your peace accord in Dayton, Ohio. Botswana Diamonds are forever; too bad your people check out at 35. Brazil Home to more than 800 species of unregulated breast implants. Brunei If there was ever an argument for the death penalty, it's chicken smuggling. Bulgaria So what if you misplaced a little weapons-grade uranium? The important thing is keeping track of all those hand-made doileys and goat hair rugs. Burkina Faso In the traditional tribal language, that's Burkina for "land of" and Faso for "people who want to get the hell out of Burkina Faso." Burma The bad news is, you've got rampant malaria. The good news is, it doesn't stop the kids from making those shirts. Burundi All that coffee in a country with no reason to wake up. Cambodia How many temples does it take before you guys realize God isn't listening? Cameroon Not to be mistaken with the macaroon, a small, chewy cookie... with a longer life expectancy! Canada With massive overpopulation threatening the globe, Canadians maintain a population of less than 35 million. How do they do it? Zero sex appeal! Cape Verde Millions visit your island nation... to refuel their planes! Central African Republic So bad, the gorillas learn sign language for "Poach me." Chad Good news: Ustad Ali Khan is headlining the Locust Plague Festival. Chile The good news is, it's finally legal to get a divorce. The bad news is, who gets the active volcano and who gets the 55,000 square miles of lifeless desert? China If you're gonna be in prison, it might as well be for no reason. Colombia You'll come for the enticing beauty of the Caribbean Sea. You'll stay because you've been kidnapped and locked in the trunk of a Dodge Dart. Comoros On a list of the world's purchasing power, you're ranked 222. Did I mention there are only 190 countries? Democratic Republic of Congo Where even a poor boy with no prospects can grow up to be run over by a presidential motorcade. Republic of Congo Without you, who would the elephants trample? Costa Rica Thanks for giving us a place to dump our potheads. Cote D'Ivoire Cocoa, sugar, and mass killings. Are you a country or a Willy Wonka nightmare? Croatia Congratulations on your candidacy for the European Union. Imagine, if that comes through, it could employ two, maybe three people. Cuba Where "high-tech" means you've got a radio on your homemade raft. Cyprus Where the Mediterranean climate makes it a joy to spend each day mining asbestos. Czech Republic The country that explains why Kafka never wrote a happy story. Denmark Too bad you can't build a warm, sunny day out of Legos. Djibouti Imagine how great life would be if you had the rich natural resources of Ethiopia. Dominica Where the national catchphrase is "I'm sorry, officer, I didn't mean to interrupt your armed robbery." Dominican Republic The perfect place for anyone who's ever asked themself "Where'd my car go?" East Timor It takes a lot to admit you live on the bad side of Timor. Ecuador Street crime is on the rise, so keep your ransom note in an inside pocket. Egypt Where priceless ancient statues and mummies are so close, you can fly to London and see them at the British Museum. El Salvador Where no resumé is complete without the phrase "Supervised six-person death squad." Equatorial Guinea Congratulations, you just discovered vast oil reserves... I mean, we just discovered vast oil reserves. *evil laugh* Eritrea You only have one TV station, but cheer up - it's got locust reports on the eights! Estonia Home of the European flying squirrel, the only Estonian mammal that's not an alcoholic. Ethiopia I can't do this one, let's move on. Fiji If you're visiting Fiji, you have to go snorkeling, 'cause it's the best way to flee cannibals. Finland We're so dumb, we can't wait to be insulted to send a meaningless postcard with a tire on the front. You've had over 5,000 years of culture, and the world's most famous Finn is still Huckleberry. France You gave us the term "deja vu," as in "Wow, I have this weird feeling you've been obnoxious and arrogant before. Deja vu!" (Wait a miniute, this is France, so I think I can't do just one.) France Rimbaud, Baudelaire, Gauguin, Manet: You're number one when it comes to great minds that died of syphillis. Gabon You have to question a country that grants five terms to a man called "President Bongo." The Gambia The only nation brave enough to say "Let those offshore oil reserves wait. We've got a good thing going with these peanuts and palm kernels." Georgia Where Europe meets Asia and says "Hey, why don't we both dump our crap here?" Germany The great 20th-century power that said, "Ditch Einstein, get Hasselhoff." Ghana The 'h' is silent, like a room full of people after you ask "What's worthwhile about Ghana?" Greece Big news: Historians now think the first marathon took place in August 490 BC, not September. That means nothing good has come out of Greece for a month longer than previously believed. Grenada When you're at the end of a grueling fifteen-hour day peeling the husks off nutmeg, remember this: without you, the world would have to sprinkle its eggnog with cinnamon. Guatemala Where the Mayans invented the zero, as in "What are the chances this shirt was made by someone over the age of eight? Zero!" Guinea Even guinea pigs have the good sense to claim they're actually from Peru. Guinea-Bissau The only book that mentions it is The Audubon Guide to Locusts. Guyana The Eskimos have sixty words for "snow." The Guyanans have eighty words for "dysentery." Haiti You just celebrated two hundred years of independence. Congratulations. Now make a wish and blow out your burning pile of tires. Hungary Sure, your next-door neighbour Austria was home to Mozart, Beethoven, Strauss, Schubert, and Freud, but don't forget, you make pretty good stuffed cabbage. Iceland I'm amazed you don't have a military. How do you protect your 85,000 square miles of uninhabitable land? India A nation so richly diverse, you can walk into a single neighborhood and find cholera, dengue fever, malaria, typhoid, and plague. Indonesia This year marks the fiftieth anniversary of your first democratic election, in which apparently, everyone voted to never have another democratic election. Iran Just two more years 'til you have a nuclear warhead, and two years and a day 'til you use it on a woman holding a beer. Ireland You know, there's a wonderful old Irish legend that goes something like this: Once upon a time, many years ago, there was an Irishman who could hold down a job. Israel Hey, remember when life in Israel was vibrant and carefree? Man, that was the day. Italy The newspapers are reporting a miracle. Apparently, a statue of Mary moved her hand and said, "I just worked harder than 80% of your workforce." Jamaica Of course you've got an astronomical murder rate. You've had "No Woman No Cry" on repeat for 25 years. Japan Last century, you brutally defeated China and Russia. This century, you make Hello Kitty toasters. Jordan Thanks to your country's progress in human rights, now your citizens can choose which hand you cut off. Kenya It's a beautiful place to grow old, assuming you're one of the 2.3% of Kenyans who live to 65. South Korea Your biggest natural resource is coal, which gives dog a nice, smokey flavour. Kuwait We saved your ass from Saddam. Now make with the oil, bitch. Kyrgystan If your country could afford vowels, you could spell "this place sucks." Laos You'll come for the early Asian ruins. You'll stay 'cause you've been stricken with avian bird flu. Latvia Your leading industries are textiles, heavy machinery production, and trading your daughters for second-hand American blue jeans. Liberia Are you bummed out 'cause your country has only 120 miles of paved road? Well, cheer up! Your 41-year life expectancy should give you plenty of time to see all of it. Luxembourg Come visit our country, but make sure you also have an afternoon activity. Malawi Just like Florida, except without the electricity, phones, drinkable water, or protection from roaming death squads. Malaysia Where the police cane you first, then ask for a bribe. Maldives You'll come for the tropical climate. You'll stay 'cause you've been eaten by tiger sharks. Mali What's that noise? People arguing in tribal languages over the last pile of ground nuts! Malta Brimming with culture, history, and mustachioed Sicilian hookers. Marshall Islands To write a joke about your country, we Googled it. No results were found. Mexico Look, there's an honest policeman! No, wait, they got him. Monaco Where Eurotrash goes to gamble away their facelift money. Mongolia Where Chinese freedom meets Siberian comfort. Mozambique The good news is, you only have the fourteenth highest death rate in the world. The bad news is, you border numbers one, three, four, and seven. Myanmar Remember when your government was almost toppled by a pair of cigarette-smoking twelve-year-old twins who you thought were immortal? Man, you sure have come a long way since 2001. Nepal Home to eight of the world's highest peaks; nine if you count your unemployment rate. The Netherlands Congratulations, you've turned 500 years of culture into a pot joke. New Caledonia Still a world leader in beach erosion. Nicaragua Come learn about the heritage of your nanny. Nigeria Where children come first... in the draft. Norway Sweden has Ikea, Finland has Nokia... Hey Norway, what do you have? Nothing-kia! Oman As in "Oh man, I can't believe you cut my hand off for stealing an orange!" Pakistan Guess what? You're not worth jack-istan! Palau How do you enter Palau? Arrive in a national airport. How do you leave Palau? Through a shark's colon. Panama Congratulations, you have the second-busiest canal after Paris Hilton. Philippines Mi casa es su landfill. Poland We'd write an insult about Poland, but they'd just send themselves the hate mail. Romania Come see our museum of the Middle Ages. We call it "Romania." Russia The perfect marriage of rampant corruption and tacky track suits. St. Kitts & Nevis You know, after you get through the shrinking population and the low birth rate, there's almost no one left to die during hurricane season. Samoa Kind of like Fiji, but without all the reasons to go there. Saudi Arabia You'll come for the history, you'll stay because they arrested your wife for accidentally showing her ankles. Serbia You tried ethnic cleansing; how about cleaning your armpits? Sierra Leone You fought for the British in World War I, now you're fighting for your first working toilet. Slovakia In 1993, Czechoslovakia was split into two seperate parts: Slovakia, and the good part. Somalia Plagued by decades of civil war. Come on, guys, there's plenty of rubble for everyone! Spain Five hundred years ago, you were a global superpower, and now you're not. Hmm, that's strange. Oh well, time for another four-hour nap! Sweden Your contributions to the world: crappy furniture and Stockholm Syndrome. Syria We haven't bombed you yet. Still, I'd hold off on any major contruction projects. Taiwan Oh wait, you're not a real country. You're China's bitch! Tajikistan Congratulations, you're where Uzbekistanis go to feel better about themselves. Thailand Where you can have sex with a 14-year-old prostitute, if they're willing to come out of retirement. Togo You've got it all... and by "it all," I mean risk of both bacterial and protozoal diarrhea. Trinidad & Tobago The Siegfried & Roy of the Lesser Antilles. Tunisia Remember that scene in Star Wars when they're on that desert planet and they go into that bar with all those weird creatures? Guess what, that was filmed in Tunisia, and those weren't actors! Turkey Formerly the Ottoman Empire, whose greatest achievement was inventing a piece of furniture to rest your feet on. Turkmenistan Why don't more people give their children Turkmen names? I don't know, let's ask President Gurbanguly Berdymuhammedov. Turks & Caicos Where the national library is housed under the reception desk of a Sandals Resort. Uganda Situated right between Rwanda and the Sudan. Jealous? United Arab Emirates You're remarkably tolerant on women's rights: you let them drive a car to their stoning. United Kingdom The sun never sets on the United Kingdom, and it never rose on British dentistry. Uzbekistan You've got a novel way to fight corruption: you don't have anything worth stealing! Vanuatu You have more than a hundred local languages; in other words, over a hundred ways to say "Hey, remember when Survivor was here?" Vietnam Come and reunite your sneakers with the eight-year-olds who made them. Virgin Islands Well you wouldn't be, if you weren't so damn ugly. Wallis & Fortuna The reason for your people's long lifespan? Not even Death knows where the hell you are! Yemen If you think Yemen is too tough on shoplifters, raise your right stump. Zambia Don't let anyone tell you that you're dirt-poor. You've got plenty of dirt! Zimbabwe You'll come for the country's pristine natural beauty. You'll stay because rogue soldiers have chained you to a burned-out jeep."

"mr. jayb: second. Your dissent is so fringe, so far beyond the parameters of ordinary thought, so far outside the walls that you instinctively frame it in terms of....." MOST STUPIDEST THING 'EVER' POSTED ON CC. fringe??? ordinary thought????? please try to bring your awareness ouside the walls of your anus." Thanks, Virendra. Incidentally, the Cabal of Jews (or in your case "Joooooooos!") - that controls *every* media outlet in the world [really] has informed me that they find your contributions "cute," and hope that you will continue to compulsively scour the vast array of media offerings available on their latest distribution channel in an attempt to find the "secret information" that they've planted concerning their "plans"/"empire"/etc on the said distribution channel, which they knew in advance would prove positively irresistible to you and your ilk...in order to profit from the ad-traffic which your frenetic orgy of clicking generates for their "new media" properties. They also asked me to tell you.. "Booga-Booga!"

The funny thing about the "unseen-powers-dominate-the-masses-yet-I alone-have-seen-through-their-plan" archetype is that it's so cliched and formulaic and derivative and predictable and....[ahem]mass-produced...that I actually predicted that the comeback would include a reference to the red/blue pill dichotomy in "The Matrix." © Think about that for a second. Your dissent is so fringe, so far beyond the parameters of ordinary thought, so far outside the walls that you instinctively frame it in terms of...a plot device lifted from a popular Hollywood movie. Do you ever feel like the human equivalent of the Hasbro Oiuja Board?

Plus you'll always have the upper-hand when some sanctimonious dickweed that thinks he should be sainted for the momentous sacrifice he made by buying a Prius starts talking smack about his eco-virtue. Love seeing people driving the Prius 3-4 miles to work with the "Live Simply So That Others May Simply Live" stickers on the back of their cars.

Decent gloves are also nice to have. Some random jacket-beta: http://outside.away.com/outside/gear/gearguy/200501/20050106.html

Also - loosen up the settings on the clipless pedals if you have them (another thing worth getting if you dont have them...way safer/more efficient than the other options)

I ride in those stretch pants, and wear my marmot precip for my top. No, I don't have fenders... I have a mountain bike too, and am debating if that will be my winter ride (with thinner tires) I'd get the fenders on whatever you choose to ride, and ditch the precip in favor of something a bit more breathable, and maybe get some cold-weather cycling pants. I think they make some that are waterproof/windproof on the front/ breathable on the back of the legs. Ditto for tops - more wind/water resistant on the front-side, breathable on the sides and/or back. Getting waterproof shoe-covers that extend up to your ankles also makes a huge difference.

Well, I bus when I don't ride, and it's not cold here. It's the rain that gets to me... the prospect of getting dripped on in 40 degree temps and soaked, and having all the road grit collect on my gears, and messenger bag. 1). Consider being out in every kind of weather mental/physical conditioning that may help you cope when conditions turn to shit in the mountains, and/or survive an epic. 2). Invest in gear that makes riding in the rain more comfortable. Nothing will keep you totally dry, but some works better than others for this. I tend to favor breathable, "water resistant" fabrics over laminates for riding in the rain, as the hot/sweaty/soaked feeling gets to me more than the soaked feeling. I assume you already have good fenders on the bike?

My ride is only ~ 3 miles each way, but it's been an everyday thing, even during those balmy winter days that the Northeast is famous for - and one surefire way to keep the motivation going is to wake up each morning certain of the fact that no matter how unpleasant the ride is, getting to work any other way would suck far more. The funny thing about riding to work in the winter is that I think I'm often warmer and more comfortable than the folks in their cars - since after about a minute of riding I'm totally warm, and their still hunched over, freezing their asses off while waiting for the heat/defrost to kick-in, and they have to deal with all of the headaches and hassles of driving in a dense-urban area in winter conditions.

The New-World-Order/Zionist-Occupation-Government has instructed me to send along the following comments: 1)They have known where your bunker is located all along. 2)They find your antics amusing, especially the way you scamper behind mailboxes, bushes, etc - when you hear the sound of an approaching helicopter. 3)"Booga-Booga!"

The cc.com equivalent of the "Free Tibet" bumpersticker.

I thought libertarians were against government imposing its ways on the people. Pegged you for a lockstep neocon right away. You are consfusing libertarians versus anarchists. Libertarians aren't necessarily opposed to rules, but they generally agree that whatever rules are in place should apply to everyone, and are generally opposed to the government using the said rules as a mechanism by which to order society in a manner which favors or elevates certain groups or interests who satisfy whatever arbitrary standards of virtue or merit the majority happens to favor at any particular point in history.

Endorsing the democratic process as a means to a particular set of socio-political ends that we believe it's in both our interest and their interest to support is one thing, endorsing and subsidizing every outcome that the process generates - even when it's detrimental for all concerned - is quite another. How will all of the values that most folks that self-identify as progressives claim to value above all else fare under the stewardship of either Hamas or whichever band of Islamists assumes control of Pakistan? In most settings a democratic process of some sort is the best mechanism for securing the rule of law, a broad set of personal freedoms, etc - but this isn't always the case at all times, in all places. I don't think that an official policy of promoting democratic rule around the globe obligates us to support - much less subsidize to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars - each and every outcome that the democratic process brings about today, any more than it did after the election that took place in the Reichstag a few decades ago. There may also be times and places where the folks likely to be brought into power via popular vote are likely to be even more repressive and "un-democratic" than the regime that they replace. This was true in Russia in 1917, in Iran in the late 1970's, and there's reason to suspect that this is a distinct possibility in the Pakistan of today. I think the best option in cases like this is to support a process of gradual democratization that provides an outlet for popular resentment before it boils over into precipitous revolution, but translating whatever impulses happen to be animating the population at that moment in time into a new government may not be the ideal means of doing so. Or, to summarize: "Democracy is not always best perceived as the power of the majority to do everything to everyone else." - Oscar Wilde.

Endorsing the democratic process as a means to a particular set of socio-political ends that we believe it's in both our interest and their interest to support is one thing, endorsing and subsidizing every outcome that the process generates - even when it's detrimental for all concerned - is quite another. How will all of the values that most folks that self-identify as progressives claim to value above all else fare under the stewardship of either Hamas or whichever band of Islamists assumes control of Pakistan? In most settings a democratic process of some sort is the best mechanism for securing the rule of law, a broad set of personal freedoms, etc - but this isn't always the case at all times, in all places. I don't think that an official policy of promoting democratic rule around the globe obligates us to support - much less subsidize to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars - each and every outcome that the democratic process brings about today, any more than it did after the election that took place in the Reichstag a few decades ago. There may also be times and places where the folks likely to be brought into power via popular vote are likely to be even more repressive and "un-democratic" than the regime that they replace. This was true in Russia in 1917, in Iran in the late 1970's, and there's reason to suspect that this is a distinct possibility in the Pakistan of today. I think the best option in cases like this is to support a process of gradual democratization that provides an outlet for popular resentment before it boils over into precipitous revolution, but translating whatever impulses happen to be animating the population at that moment in time into a new government may not be the ideal means of doing so.

But will the snowpack on the East suck any less than last year. This is the question...

Sweet. Looks faster, safer, and easier. And from Petzl of all places... Thanks for the link.

I'm a big reverso fan, but from time to time I've had to lower folks that I've been belaying off of the anchor in auto-lock mode, and it's been kind of a P.I.T.A. Thankfully, they've been conscious, in a position where they could help unload the rope, and it wasn't an emergency situation - so I've installed either a second belay device in the brake line - or set up a munter hitch - and had them unweight the load strand. Once they've done so, I just remove the Reverso and transfer the load to the belay-device/munter, and lower. This isn't always terribly easy when someone's in free-hanging mode, and I've started thinking about a way to use a bit mechanical advantage to unlock the Reverso that involves a minimum of clusterage. I'm not sure where I saw this, but the best idea I've come across so far involves: 1)Girth-hitching a prussik-loop to the top of the Reverso. 2)Clipping a carabiner to something that's at least a few inches above the reverso. 3)Running the end of the prussik-loop through the carabiner that you've clipped above the Reverso. 4)Clipping a second carabiner to the back of the Reverso, then running the end of the prussik-loop through this carabiner to create a z-pulley. 5)Pulling up on the end of the prussik-loop with one hand, while keeping the brake hand on the brake line. I was able to use this system to release (pretty easily) a 140-lb free-hanging load, and control the lowering by using the tension on the prussik-loop and the brake line, and it took all of about 30 seconds to set-up. Release the tension on the prussik-loop and the Reverso locks immediately, so your chances of dropping the person you are lowering are effectively nil. Anyone else have a different system? Comments? I couldn't find a picture that showed this set-up elsewhere on the web, so my artistic rendering of this system is below.

I use the "Digital Media Converter" program for this kind of thing, which is available for around $40, and allows you to specify the format and the size/quality of the output file. It's worked pretty well for me so far, with the only caveat being that huge files take a fair amount of time to convert. Available here: http://www.deskshare.com/dmc.aspx

Can't give a ringing endorsement because I only went there once, with a problem that I identified myself, but - Pacific Rim Automotive on Stone Way might be worth looking into. Seemed competent with reasonable prices. A good friend takes his care there as well, and hasn't had any complaints that I'm aware of.

Seen on a T-Shirt... "Would anyone care for some tat?"

Serious questions: 1)Where were you educated? 2)How would you rate your ability to translate your thoughts into written English? dont go off topic just yet. read it again.- ctp belief, differ rant is not wrong by deaf-a-nation. 3)(When you can summon a moment of coherence - take your time)If you work, do you work in a field which requires you to communicate with others in written English? you cannot stay on topic, simply because truth is ignoring you. The topic in question is you. I am honestly trying to figure out if you have a profound handicap of some sort that you are contending with, and have yet to overcome, which impairs your ability to use written language in general, and the English variety in particular. I strongly suspect that you could not compose more than a couple of sentences with anything approaching correct grammar, syntax, or punctuation without an inordinate amount of effort, and I wonder how it is that you manage to earn a living with such an impairment.