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Saving Weight


Son_of_Caveman

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I've recently gone on a crusade to save all the ounces possible in my ruck. Here's a few weight saving tips that worked for me, and one that didn't:

 

1. I shaved my balls to save weight, but the stubble in my shorts irritated me to no end. When I visited the Swedish Massage Parlors (read Korean) and had the obligatory "body bath" the gurlz all thought I was gay.

 

2. I'm currently in the process of removing every other bristle on my tooth brush. Using my leatherman pliers, this takes awhile, but the potential for weight saving cannot be overlooked.

 

3. I'm also separating the plys on my t.p. I roll the extra ply on a short pencil. Write a note...wipe yur ass. [big Grin]

 

I have other ideas, but I must go have a Martini and ponder the meaning of it all.

 

[big Drink]

 

[ 05-01-2002, 06:43 PM: Message edited by: Son of Caveman ]

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depilation is old skool. You can cut off pounds --POUNDS!-- by removing extraneous organs and extremities (what good are your appendix, extra kidney, and little toes anyways?) You might even make some spare cash selling the kidney. And if you stick to the GU diet, you don't need all those heavy teeth either.

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You know, I go elk hunting with a guy who was on a college track team. I don't think he ever even noticed the rocks I slipped into his pack. I have found the best way to slow down people who have an annoying habit of keeping in shape is to divert their energy while allowing you to rest.

My favorite method is the distraction. While hunting I like to ask "Did you just see something move behind that tree?" Often this will cause him to stare at the tree in hopes of seeing an elk. While climbing just call out things like "Is it an optical illusion or is that a depression in the snow ahead?" or "Dang that cornice looks heavy."

As a last but expensive resort try tossing climbing bootie. Drop an unmarked #4 hex near the trail and ask if he dropped it. Insist that he come look at it himself because if it's not his then you will leave it for the rightful owner to retreive. This forces him to hike back down to you, lie and say "I didn't even notice that fall out of my pack, thanks." and then walk back up to where he started. This of course is thwarted by the ocasional honest climber, but they are rare and can be avoided.

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quote:

Originally posted by Crackbolter:

It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop.

 

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[big Drink][big Drink][big Drink][big Drink][big Drink][big Drink][big Drink]
Confucius

Confusius must not have known about convergant integrals.

 

Sorry, every once in a while a geek's gotta' geek-out.

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quote:

Originally posted by Crackbolter:

It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop.

 

-
[big Drink][big Drink][big Drink][big Drink][big Drink][big Drink][big Drink]
Confucius

Confusius must not have known about convergent integrals.

 

Sorry, every once in a while a geek's gotta' geek-out.

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quote:

Originally posted by max:

quote:

Originally posted by Crackbolter:

It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop.

 

-
[big Drink][big Drink][big Drink][big Drink][big Drink][big Drink][big Drink]
Confucius

Confusius must not have known about convergent integrals.

 

Sorry, every once in a while a geek's gotta' geek-out.

Yes, but twice in a night? Now I have a mathematical question for you! Please simplify sin(x)/n.

 

Hint: the solution is more frequently found by freshmen than seniors.

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despite husbands dissaproving, been trying to figure out inexpensive way to get rid of majority of breast tissue. Betty tops are made primarily for "small" women any way, Firgure I would be doing my self a favor in the long run. [Wink][Wink][Wink][laf]

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