Saving Weight

[Son_of_Caveman]

I've recently gone on a crusade to save all the ounces possible in my ruck. Here's a few weight saving tips that worked for me, and one that didn't:

 

1. I shaved my balls to save weight, but the stubble in my shorts irritated me to no end. When I visited the Swedish Massage Parlors (read Korean) and had the obligatory "body bath" the gurlz all thought I was gay.

 

2. I'm currently in the process of removing every other bristle on my tooth brush. Using my leatherman pliers, this takes awhile, but the potential for weight saving cannot be overlooked.

 

3. I'm also separating the plys on my t.p. I roll the extra ply on a short pencil. Write a note...wipe yur ass.

 

I have other ideas, but I must go have a Martini and ponder the meaning of it all.

 

 

[ 05-01-2002, 06:43 PM: Message edited by: Son of Caveman ]

[freeclimb9]

depilation is old skool. You can cut off pounds --POUNDS!-- by removing extraneous organs and extremities (what good are your appendix, extra kidney, and little toes anyways?) You might even make some spare cash selling the kidney. And if you stick to the GU diet, you don't need all those heavy teeth either.

[sk]

Note to self: load friends packs with rocks! that aught to slow them down!!!!

 

thanx, rad trad dad

[Gimpy]

You know, I go elk hunting with a guy who was on a college track team. I don't think he ever even noticed the rocks I slipped into his pack. I have found the best way to slow down people who have an annoying habit of keeping in shape is to divert their energy while allowing you to rest.

My favorite method is the distraction. While hunting I like to ask "Did you just see something move behind that tree?" Often this will cause him to stare at the tree in hopes of seeing an elk. While climbing just call out things like "Is it an optical illusion or is that a depression in the snow ahead?" or "Dang that cornice looks heavy."

As a last but expensive resort try tossing climbing bootie. Drop an unmarked #4 hex near the trail and ask if he dropped it. Insist that he come look at it himself because if it's not his then you will leave it for the rightful owner to retreive. This forces him to hike back down to you, lie and say "I didn't even notice that fall out of my pack, thanks." and then walk back up to where he started. This of course is thwarted by the ocasional honest climber, but they are rare and can be avoided.

[sk]

Note to self; hike often with those named Gimpy. If not hiking with gimp, use distraction.

 

You rule! I may not get there fast, but I get there

[Crackbolter]

It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop.

 

- Confucius

[max]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Crackbolter:

It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop.

 

-

Confucius

---

Confusius must not have known about convergant integrals.

 

Sorry, every once in a while a geek's gotta' geek-out.

[max]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Crackbolter:

It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop.

 

-

Confucius

---

Confusius must not have known about convergent integrals.

 

Sorry, every once in a while a geek's gotta' geek-out.

[pope]

quote:

---

Originally posted by max:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Crackbolter:

It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop.

 

-

Confucius

---

Confusius must not have known about convergent integrals.

 

Sorry, every once in a while a geek's gotta' geek-out.

---

Yes, but twice in a night? Now I have a mathematical question for you! Please simplify sin(x)/n.

 

Hint: the solution is more frequently found by freshmen than seniors.

[max]

6

 

yeah, some geeks just have more staying power than others.

[pope]

Max, here's another math puzzler (the self-answering question):

 

Can Max integrate cosecant?

[max]

the answer is: no

[pope]

quote:

---

Originally posted by max:

the answer is: no

---

The answer is: 'Cos he can't. Har har har.

[Son_of_Caveman]

you've been off your meds again, haven't you Mr. Pope??

[sk]

You may be on to something there. Caveman.

[pope]

quote:

---

Originally posted by sk:

You may be on to something there. Caveman.

---

Caveman is Caveman's dad?

[sk]

Who knows realy, but caveman himself????? Any relation to our beloved Captin???? But then you'd never tell, now would you?

[Son_of_Caveman]

I'll never tell

[sk]

Tease

[MysticNacho]

People are having entirely way too much fun here. Something needs to be done.

[Son_of_Caveman]

quote:

---

Originally posted by MysticNacho:

People are having entirely way too much fun here. Something needs to be done.

---

[sk]

despite husbands dissaproving, been trying to figure out inexpensive way to get rid of majority of breast tissue. Betty tops are made primarily for "small" women any way, Firgure I would be doing my self a favor in the long run.

[Son_of_Caveman]

sk- i am a doctor, thus would be interested in examining your breasts to discuss the possibility of breast reduction. pm me for address to my home, oops, i mean office.

 

[sk]

 

Right, sure, you bet

[mtngrrrl]