You know your HR department is full of idiots when

[foraker]

You're looking for candidates to do OS development/multithreading/etc and the HR dept passes on the resume of some noob whose qualifications are "worked at Office Depot".

 

Wouldn't you, as an HR VP, put forth *some* effort to understand what it is your company does in order to make money and the various sort of skill sets that might be required?

 

Someone explain to me what the purpose of HR is other than to serve as a human shield between the employees and the execs/BOD. What exactly is taught in college programs that offer 'human resources' as a degree option? Four years of drinking and debauchery? Really, I want to know.

[archenemy]

I worked in HR for a couple of years. Let me clarify that: I worked in the IT dept within HR for a couple of years. It was something like residing in the fourth ring of purgatory. What do regular HR people do? I don't fucking know. How can they judge other people's skills? They can't. YOu know why, because to get a job in HR you need to be somewhere in the skill range of being able to tie your own shoe laces and somehow managing to not choke on your own drool.

[counterfeitfake]

They're almost invariably total spazzes who just can't do shit right. We've got a new time reporting system here, and we've gotten this total avalanche of emails saying "Go use the new system!" "Use the new system by Friday!" but no reminder about instructions or links to the damn thing. Then we got an email that had the wrong link. When I dug up the instructions, they didn't work. Why is this so hard?

[archenemy]

Because doing anything with the HR dept is like getting a five fingered prostate exam.

[gapertimmy]

I worked in the IT dept within HR for a couple of years. It was something like residing in the fourth ring of purgatory.

 

I know your pain. HR peeps are tehsuck at intenets and all things electronic, save playing games on their razr's and installing screensavers featuring cats wearing sunglasses.

 

i got so pissed at one of the HR people that I abused my uber admin powers to redirect all of her frequently visited websites to the companies intranet site. i savored watching her squirm knowing she couldn't go complain to her boss about how she couldn't surf at work.

[foraker]

gapertimmy, you're my new hero.

[archenemy]

Mine too. Genius.

[Winter]

When I am my own HR dept.

[foraker]

Let's not start on how they sit there with a smiling face as they gut your/their benefits plan in some way and tell you how it's a wonderful thing for you. Really, they must all be high or drunk or had a frontal lobotomy in order to be able to do both of those at the same time. Judas must have been an HR flunky.

[archenemy]

What really pisses me off about that is that the first work I did in HR was repurposing SPDs (the things explaining benes). To include info and legal background stuff, I had to research all that crap. Now I know a lot about benefits. So I ask specific questions and they can't answer them. Ever.

 

Here is a benefit and HR jackoff doesn't need: a Paycheck.

[archenemy]

And, they can never send you the information that they can't give you. They always refere you (even when they *know* you work in IT) to the home page of the company HR site. Thanks. And congratulations on learning how to use the web. It must be right up there with your other lofty achievements like learning how to zip up your pants without getting your dick caught.

[foraker]

ah, nothing makes misery better than spreading it around. i see my work here is done.

[archenemy]

I feel better.

[G-spotter]

operating system, office depot... that's only one letter different in the initials

[catbirdseat]

Because doing anything with the HR dept is like getting a five fingered prostate exam.

Ouch(!), I hadn't heard that one before. A swell simile.

[drater]

Because doing anything with the HR dept is like getting a five fingered prostate exam.

 

Awesome.

 

Can anybody recommend a good HR department?

[bstach]

Catbert is the embodiment of everything heinous about HR.

 

http://www.comics.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20070413.html

[counterfeitfake]

You know your HR department is full of idiots when

 

... you have an HR department.

[foraker]

Catbert is the embodiment of everything heinous about HR.

 

http://www.comics.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20070413.html

 

Except Catbert has more brains than all HR departments combined.

[mtn_mouse]

HR departments serve mostly to keep count of employees, kind of like this:

 

 

[G-spotter]

Dude, where's my hakapik?

[mtn_mouse]

Dude, where's my hakapik?

 

Sorry, you can't use one. This is an anti-seal in ant-arctica.

[G-spotter]

Ok... get that seal a penguin then, the penguin's got engine trouble