Snivilization Down to the Briney Deep

[olyclimber]

Aye Maties, yee be interested in sending snivilization down to the briney deep? Would yee like to make yee home in the belly of a whale? ARRRRGGGG!!!!

[G-spotter]

Seems like there was a shipfull of pirates crashed on a desert island. To escape the island the crew had to caulk the ship. Meanwhile the lust-mad pirates rounded up the local animals on the island for some bestiality.

 

Now there weren't enough caulking tools to go around so only a few pirates could caulk at any one time. As a reward these men were given the first pick of the island's fauna and could spend their nights with manatee, monkey or sow. The remainder of the crew had to make do with fish, tube worms, a shark, things like that.

 

The episode is remembered today with the popular phrase "I'd caulk a while for a mammal".

[DirtyHarry]

That's the dumbest joke I've ever heard in my life. Aaaargh.

[G-spotter]

A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns telling about their adventures on the seas. The sailor notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook and an eye patch.

 

The sailor asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"

 

The pirate replies: "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

 

"Wow!" said the sailor. "What about the hook?"

 

"Well," replied the pirate, "we were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."

 

"Incredible!" said the sailor. "And how did you get the eye patch?"

 

"A seagull-dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.

 

"You lost your eye to a seagull-dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.

 

"Well," said the pirate,"it was my first day with the hook..."

[G-spotter]

Q: How much does it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears?

A: A buck an ear!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Q: Where does a pirate keep his buckaneers?

A: Underneath his buckenhat!

[RogerJ]

A pirate arrives at port after having been at sea for six long months. Being extremely horny, the first thing he does upon setting foot on terra firma is to head straight to the nearest brothel. He goes right up to the madam and says, 'How much?'

 

The madam replies that her girls charge two hundred dollars and that she has only one immediately available. The pirate feels that this seems a bit pricey, but in his desperate condition he has no choice. He agrees to the terms and is shown upstairs to a room to await the arrival of the woman.

 

When the hooker gets to the room, she opens the door only to find the pirate furiously jerking off. 'Wait a minute!' cries the hooker. 'What are you doing?'

 

The pirate looks up at her and answers, ARGHHHH, for two hundred bucks you don't think I'm going to let you have the easy one, do you?'

[G-spotter]

The clothes, the speech, the lifestyle, it gives you a lot to play with. And, you know, "PIRATES ARE THE NEW MONKEYS."