I am the snaffle assassin!

[sobo]

I didn't read your post very carefully the first time. It seemed unwarranted and too lengthy. I reread it carefully and now understand your point.

 

Thank you.

 

Are you going to post your next opinion in hieroglyphics?

 

Unwarranted.

 

[Fonspa]

Vice versa bud...

[Fonspa]

That's funny. Do you think you are have some sort of special trait that qualifies all your opinions? Why don't you tell us about all the times you have been wrong.

[olyclimber]

drop it Fonzi. research spay and find out how many arguments have actually been won here. extended mud slinging sessions just make all involved look like fools.

[Fonspa]

This is true. Thanks.

[Fonspa]

Anyway, the topic was skwerls or "snaffles". What's the derivation of that word? I ask in a sincere polite way.

 

The best and safest way to deal with skwerls is to set out as many havahart traps that you figure you need, baited with a little pb. To keep expenses down, you can drown the skwerls by dropping the cage in any large container. A garbage can, horse trough, pond, creek. Whatever you have. I don't like to watch them drown so I finish them with a pellet gun instead. I live in an urban area and can't use a real firearm on my property

 

During the winter and spring, I use what I call my bird-proof skwerl feeder. It's an 8' long tube around 4" in diameter made of heavy gauge 1/4" mesh, the kind you use for sifting garden soil. I wrap the center with 2' of visqueen to keep the rain from ruining the bait that's placed in a heavy bowl in the center. Then I just lash the tube, with duct tape, to a 10' 2" by 6" or 12". I also wrap the ends of the tube with heavy canvas and cut a slit in the ends. Birds won't enter but skwerls will. Skwerls love a challenge.

 

The bait it just a mixture of Decon green pellet rat and mouse poison mixed with peanut butter. It's best to dump the Decon in boiling water and let it soften into a mush before you mix it with the pb. Don't use your oatmeal pot... If it isn't in a very mushy form the skwerls will carry it off which may pose a threat to other living things. You also have to put the bait in a very heavy container or secure it very well as you see fit. They will try to drag the whole container away if they can and this may pose a hazard as well.

 

I don't reccomend this system if you or your neighbors have kids, pets... you have to use good sense and consider every possibility. Predatory birds or even the guy next doors dog might get sick when the rat crawls over there and die in its dining area.

 

Skwerls are diurnal so if you give a rats ass about skunks, possum, racoons or other things that creep in the night you should secure you traps and "feeder" in the evening. I put mine in the garage.

 

There are a lot of scams around that claim to repel skwerls. None of them work. When the skwerl population explodes in an urban area it has to be thinned out. The remaining skwerls are healthy and nonevasive.

[archenemy]

Fonzi. research spay

The topic is now spay.

Have your pet snaffle spayed immediately or risk being shunned.

[Fonspa]

I don't keep "pets".

[olyclimber]

Fonzi. research spay

The topic is now spay.

Have your pet snaffle spayed immediately or risk being shunned.

 

Thanks for catching that. I want all the errata out of my posts. Frankly, it just makes you all look bad when I spell incorectly. And my publisher won't have it.

[Fonspa]

Heh, you people aren't lacking in ascerbicism. I think I'll learn a lot here.

[Fonspa]

That actually sounds like a plan. Spay the skwerls, but I can't afford to fund such a program.

[Fonspa]

Nah, that wouldn't work. They would still run amuck for 5 or 6 years, if you spayed them young, and do all the usual skwerl things.

Edited August 31, 2005 by Fonspa

[Dechristo]

The nasty little fucks are gettin' rich makin' tv commercials for breakfast cereals and car insurance.

[Kraken]

hah, i like fonspa's idea.

 

It has been about a week since I shot the last one and I haven't heard a peep from one since. The gun is still loaded by the door though.

[Fonspa]

The people that are getting rich are the skwerlhuggers and the con artists selling coyote piss, ultrasonic bullshit and all the rest. And that brings us back to Pissss....

[Fonspa]

I was looking around and noticed that many here like to wax poetic. Here's one of my favorite skwerl poems.

 

I hate the little skwerly thing

ugly little rat!

I'd like to knock him from the tree

and feed him to a cat.

 

That's if the cat would eat him,

I don't think he will

the pointy claws and bushy tail

would make the kitty ill.

 

I hate the little skwerly thing

with eyeballs all agog,

I'd like to knock him to the ground

and feed him to the dog.

 

That's if the dog would eat him,

how could he stand the taste?

those bucky teeth, those beady eyes

would be the parts he'd waste

 

I hate the little skwerly thing

creepy evil stare!

I'd like to poke him with a stick

and feed him to a bear.

 

That's if the bear would eat him,

I don't think that he would.

honey's not so hairy,

and it tastes twice as good.

 

I hate the little skwerly thing

it tears up all my plants!

I'd like to see it pizza-ized

by two big elephants.

 

That's if elephants will do it,

I think they're too evolved,

I bet they'd tap dance on it

if a peanut were involved!

 

I hate the little skwerly thing

grisly death is not enough

they should get a skwerl plague

or that ebola stuff.

 

Thats if they wouldn't spread it,

you know theyre gonna try

they hate us all with skwerlish zeal

and want us all to die!

[Kraken]

i hope you made that up...that is friggin awesome! You are a modern day Shakespeare S Thompson!

[archenemy]

What sets him apart though is his nifty habit of never posting just one post.

[archenemy]

But rather, posting two or three in sucession.

[archenemy]

Like this.

[mec]

that

[mec]

is a

[mec]

good way to

[mec]

increase post count too

[Fonspa]

So how about an opinion about squirrel problems, Archie? This is the topic. Smarten us up.