I guess dinner and a movie is out of the question

[foraker]

 

Mom. Dad. I'd like you to meet the Mrs.....

 

 

Abduction is a Kyrgyz wedding rite

 

Bride-to-be often last to know

 

By CRAIG S. SMITH

 

NEW YORK TIMES NEWS SERVICE

 

 

BISHKEK, Kyrgyzstan - When Ainur Tairova realized she was on her way to her wedding, she started choking the driver.

 

Her marriage was intended to be to a man she had met only the day before, and briefly at that. Several of his friends had duped her into getting into a car; they picked up the would-be groom and then headed for his home. Once there, she knew, her chances of leaving before nightfall would be slim, and by daybreak, according to local custom, she would have to submit to being his wife or leave as a tainted woman.

 

"I told him I didn't want to date anyone," Tairova, 28, recalled. "So he decided to kidnap me the next day."

 

Such abductions are common here. More than half of Kyrgyzstan's married women were snatched from the street by their husbands in a custom known as "ala kachuu," which translates roughly as "grab and run." In its most benign form, it is a kind of elopement, in which a man whisks away a willing girlfriend. But often it is something more violent.

 

Recent surveys suggest that the rate of abductions has steadily grown in the last 50 years and that currently at least a third of Kyrgyzstan's brides are taken against their will.

 

The custom predates the arrival of Islam in the 12th century and appears to have its roots in the region's once-marauding tribes, which periodically stole horses and women from rivals when supplies ran low. It is practiced in varying degrees across Central Asia but is most prevalent here in Kyrgyzstan, a poor, mountainous land that for decades was a backwater of the Soviet Union.

 

Kyrgyz men say they snatch women because it is easier than courtship and cheaper than paying the standard "bride price," which can be as much as $800 plus a cow.

 

Once a woman has been taken to a man's home, her future in-laws try to calm her down and get a white wedding shawl onto her head. The shawl, called a jooluk, is a symbol of her submission. Many women fight fiercely, but about 80 percent of those kidnapped eventually relent, often at the urging of their own parents, who have been summoned to help make their daughters stay.

 

The practice has technically been illegal for years, first under the Soviet Union and more recently under the 1994 Kyrgyz criminal code, but the law rarely has been enforced.

 

"Most people don't know it's illegal," said Russell Kleinbach, a sociology professor at American University in Bishkek whose studies of the practice have helped spur a national debate.

 

Brutal as the custom is, it is widely perceived as practical. "Every good marriage begins in tears," a Kyrgyz saying goes.

[archenemy]

But does she get to keep the ring?

[bunglehead]

Hmm, for some reason I don't think that'd fly in the U.S.

Except maybe in Texas where they've banned SEXY CHEERLEADING!

[Ratboy]

Kyrgyz men say they snatch women because it is easier than courtship

 

[archenemy]

They just like to say

"snatch"

whenever they can.

[Dru]

Hmm, for some reason I don't think that'd fly in the U.S.

Except maybe in Texas where they've banned SEXY CHEERLEADING!

 

It might go over big in Texas... how many Texans can afford $800 and a cow these days?

[minx]

i don't know about the $800 but i think there are plenty of fat chicks in TX just like everywhere else.

[bunglehead]

Fat chick tipping?

[minx]

Fat chick tipping?

 

i don't think they appreciate it when you shove them off the bar stools

[archenemy]

Is that why they turn the bar stools over before sitting on them?

[bunglehead]

I usually see them eating in their cars. With ugly little children in the back.

[mec]

Are they eating their ugly children by chance?

[bunglehead]

No, from what I can tell, it's usually Carl's Jr or one of those other idiotic chains. But the kids always look like they have breathing problems. Like Pugs. GROSS.