knelson Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 INTERNATIONAL ANIMAL HUSBANDRY RING BUSTED [Vancouver, BC] RCMP believe they have broken an international animal husbandry ring based near the Vancouver suburb of Chilliwack. Police swarmed the home of the late 30 year old male suspect just before noon on Thursday. The suspect is believed to be the leader of an alledged cross-border animal exchange program. Captain Dan Odder of the RCMP believes they interrupted the suspect just as he was finalizing a milestone deal in the program. "Yeah... we cut the power to his house before we came in, and we found him frantically trying to reconnect to the internet on his computer." said Captain Odder when questioned about the raid. "Poor sap. All he could mutter was 'Gotta make 25,000. Gotta make 25,000.' We think we shut him down just before he raked in some pretty good money." Odder believes the ring had been operating under the guise of a internet forum board for mountain climbers. "In our investigation, we were tipped off by the large number of references to sheep, goats, otters, and most of all... well... the male appendages of horses." That, combined with photos found on the suspects' computer of obviously cross-bred animals, birds, and reptiles make the RCMP believe they've just found the tip of the iceberg. "What concerns me, being a parent of a young child" said Odder, "were the pictures we found of 'Hello Kitty'. I've never seen anything worse in my 20 years in this job, eh?" The RCMP is cooperating with US Federal officials in Washington State as they investigate further into the internet forum that was involved in facilitating the animal swapping transactions. The internet forum is based in a suburb of Seattle, WA. US officials would not comment further, as they did not want to hamper their investigations. They would acknowledge that they were tipped off by a rival internet forum, and thanked "those fellow patriots" for their alertness in this matter. The suspect is being held without bail, and without internet access. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tread_tramp Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoboy Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 LOL LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattp Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 Think: they allege a "ring." You don't have to talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 Weekly Writing Prompts Everyone needs a starting point from time to time to get them into the swing of writing. Use our prompts about animals this week to start your journaling. Monday Dr. Doolittle had a Pushme-Pullyou. What sort of weird creature would you like to have as a pet? Tuesday Kids are constantly bringing home strays that they want to adopt. Write a story about a kid that brings home an unusual stray and what happens when he/she asks mom if they can keep it. Wednesday What was your family pet? Write a story about when you first brought your pet home. If you didn’t have a pet, write about one that you wished you had. Thursday Samson was a bear in California that kept climbing into the hot tubs of local homes for a soothing dip. He was finally given his own waterfall and bathing pool at the Orange County Zoo. Write a story from Samson’s point of view. Friday You're a pirate and your constant companion is your parrot. Write a story about something you said that he repeated at the wrong time. Did you get in trouble? Were you embarrassed? Did you get arrested? Be creative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minx Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 shouldn't this have been post #25,000 for dru? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 Word has that the police were tipped off by a jealous goat who found a personal add submitted by the suspect to an internet pet store bulletin board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 The RCMP spokesman courteously omitted devulgence of the discovery of the most extensive and elaborate collection of artificial vaginas (AV) and dummies ever confiscated in a law enforcement action. It appeared many of the AVs were of the suspect's own creation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 Frankenvagina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 Weekly Writing Prompts Everyone needs a starting point from time to time to get them into the swing of spraying. Use our prompts about animals this week to start your cascadeclimbers.com posting. Monday Dr. Flash Amazing had a Boltme-Clipyu. What sort of weird creature would you like to have as a pet? Tuesday Kids are constantly bringing home sprays that they want to adopt. Write a story about a kid that brings home an unusual spray and what happens when he/she asks mom if they can keep it. Wednesday What was specialed's family pet? Write a story about when he first brought his pet home. If you didn’t have a clue, make some shit up. Thursday Minx was a bear in Washington that kept climbing into the hot tubs of local homes to soothe her nasty yeast infections. She was finally given her own waterfall and bathing pool at the Woodland Park Zoo. Write a story from Minx’s point of view. Friday You're a pirate and your constant companion is your parrot. ARRRRRRR! You poor fucker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 IT'S ALIVVVVVE!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 Weekly Writing Prompts Everyone needs a starting point from time to time to get them into the swing of spraying. Use our prompts about animals this week to start your cascadeclimbers.com posting. Monday Dr. Flash Amazing had a Boltme-Clipyu. What sort of weird creature would you like to have as a pet? Tuesday Kids are constantly bringing home sprays that they want to adopt. Write a story about a kid that brings home an unusual spray and what happens when he/she asks mom if they can keep it. Wednesday What was specialed's family pet? Write a story about when he first brought his pet home. If you didn’t have a clue, make some shit up. Thursday Minx was a bear in Washington that kept climbing into the hot tubs of local homes to soothe her nasty yeast infections. She was finally given her own waterfall and bathing pool at the Woodland Park Zoo. Write a story from Minx’s point of view. Friday You're a pirate and your constant companion is your parrot. ARRRRRRR! You poor fucker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 Monday Dr. Flash Amazing had a Boltme-Clipyu. What sort of weird creature would you like to have as a pet? A stick-it-to-ya Tuesday Kids are constantly bringing home sprays that they want to adopt. Write a story about a kid that brings home an unusual spray and what happens when he/she asks mom if they can keep it. She pulls out her artificial vagina and begins her own illigal animal husbandry ring. Wednesday What was specialed's family pet? Write a story about when he first brought his pet home. If you didn’t have a clue, make some shit up. He was the family pet. Thursday Minx was a bear in Washington that kept climbing into the hot tubs of local homes to soothe her nasty yeast infections. She was finally given her own waterfall and bathing pool at the Woodland Park Zoo. Write a story from Minx’s point of view. Minx has a point of view? Friday You're a pirate and your constant companion is your parrot. ARRRRRRR! You poor fucker I always wondered how pirates, having those hooks for hands and all, wiped their asses. Now I know what the parrot is for! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knelson Posted April 28, 2005 Author Share Posted April 28, 2005 I always wondered how pirates, having those hooks for hands and all, wiped their asses. Now I know what the parrot is for! Ahhhhhh... I see now. "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" comes from when they used the wrong end of the parrot. Always wondered where that came from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 I always wondered how pirates, having those hooks for hands and all, wiped their asses. Now I know what the parrot is for! Ahhhhhh... I see now. "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" comes from when they used the wrong end of the parrot. Always wondered where that came from. It's a little known fact that pirates intentionally wiped against the feathers when they REALLY needed to "swab the deck". BAHWWWCK! Polly wants a cracker! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 Watch you don't get hooked by the beak, matey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 Polly gets a cracker -- there is no afirmative action for pirates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 Polly wants a crackhead! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 Polly wants yer crack Ok Stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knelson Posted April 28, 2005 Author Share Posted April 28, 2005 Don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knelson Posted April 28, 2005 Author Share Posted April 28, 2005 Stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knelson Posted April 28, 2005 Author Share Posted April 28, 2005 How? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winter Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 This isn't that far fetched. The Doug Spink story gets even weirder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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