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Lance Is Back!


MervGriffin

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Oh fuck yeah! Dude is incredible! I bow down to him. I was just making a crack at the appeal of hardcore road cyclists. They don't exactly have what I would consider the best bodies, but then again, I'm not a woman, so who knows...

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no doubt. have you sen his upper body... er... uh... lack therof? yellaf.gif

 

Pro cyclists are esentially skeletons with giant fucking quads. it's like a formula 1 car. A 1000hp engine packed in a totally lightweight frame for doing one thing...going fast.

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And while you are spraying away he and his skinny arms are off training in the Alps. Harpell I'm sure he'd beat your ass. the_finger.gif

 

Yeah!! He's probably one of those tough guys who think they're hot shit becuase he can squat like 400 pounds but can't get a 125 pound deadlift off the ground. yelrotflmao.gif

 

You know deep down he's a crying little kitten snaf.gif

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And while you are spraying away he and his skinny arms are off training in the Alps. Harpell I'm sure he'd beat your ass. the_finger.gif

 

...and likely yours... that is why he is a PRO CYCLIST! Geek_em8.gif

 

No I didn't mean beat your ass on the bike, I mean just beat your ass in general. wink.gif

 

Bronco you better not be poking fun at me fool! pitty.gif If I can power clean 225 I'm pretty sure I can dead lift it. boxing_smiley.gif

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I got the skills to pay the bills

I don't pop pills but I send chills

Up your spine when I rhyme

I get wicked, you got a booger, pick it

Sippin' on the 40, ya know it makes me horny

Spread them legs, grab my axe

Fire up the grill and crack the kegs

Nobody fear, the party's here

Everlast is comin', the funky drummer's drummin'

Ya only came backstage to make the front page

To get me locked up, or get yourself knocked up

But I ain't with it, even if I did it

I got a hundred homeboys to say I didn't hit it

My name's Lance, I got the funky rhymes

I make more papers than the LA Times

I don't do lines, but I puff blunts

I don't rock fronts, but I stuff stunts

Fill 'em to the brim like a cup of coffee

If ya don't know me, homey, back up off me

Cause I ain't soft, see, I'll fly ahead

You wind up dead, you made your bed

Now ya gotta lie in it, don't bother tryin' it

Take my advice, homeboy, think twice

Before you step up, step back

Or catch a smack, guess who's back

 

tongue.gif

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Pro cyclists aslo have fairly good hams and glutes. Riding clipless recruits more muscles than normal peddles. I think that those guys would have respectable deadlifts.

 

I remembered this on my forest service mandated 12 mile bike ride the other day. I have clipless pedals, and I came back feeling like I'd worked some muscles I hadn't used in a long while.

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Bronco you better not be poking fun at me fool! pitty.gif If I can power clean 225 I'm pretty sure I can dead lift it. boxing_smiley.gif

 

WOW!! I'm super impressed you can almost powerclean your bodyweight!!

 

I would never poke fun at someone on this website, especially an administrator. I might be sent to banned camp for hurthing their wittle feewings. yelrotflmao.gif

 

My dad can outrun your dad any day of the week. the_finger.gif

 

I'M RICK JAMES BIATCH!!! rolleyes.gif

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I like the part where the bum's chase Lance when he crosses under I-5 near the U district. They're all like "hey, get-im, he's probably got something we can steal and sell for thunderbird money!!!" and he's like "eat balls, you couldn't catch me on your best day" then they're probably like "yeah, get outa here or we'll kick your ass!!!" I think Nike should let me narrate the entire commercial. I'd sell a bunch of shoes.

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