Clean Joke

[catbirdseat]

The church gossip and self-appointed arbiter of the church's morals kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several church members were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being drunk after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing. George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny; he said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of her house... and left it there all night.

[catbirdseat]

Here's another one. What with the Passion out and Easter coming up, it seems appropriate.

 

A guy goes on vacation in the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. The mother-in-law dies. So the couple go to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home, but it will cost over $5,000, whereas burying her in the Holy Land would cost only $150. "We'll ship her home," says the guy. The undertaker asks, "Are you sure? That's an awfully big expense and we can do a very nice burial here." The guy says, "Look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

[burgersling]

Are you getting these from your A.A.R.P. meetings?

[rbw1966]

Are you getting these from your A.A.R.P. meetings?

[catbirdseat]

I guess mother in law jokes aren't funny until you have a mother in law.

[jja]

No, mother in law jokes are funny, it's just unfunny jokes that are unfunny.

[chucK]

I like the first one

 

You didn't by any chance get them out of the Garrison Keilor "Pretty Good Joke Book" did you?

[catbirdseat]

I got them from a fellow lab rat.

[rbw1966]

I have a mother in law

[bulldog]

Did you hear that Micheal Jackson called Boyz to Men? It was a mistake, he thought it was a delivery service. He called from rehab on his way out finishing his time for his 10 year old crack addiction. He was on his way home and about drove off the road with excitement when he saw a K-mart sign that read, "Youth pants, half off". He finally got home and it was time to go to bed. You know what time MJ goes to bed don't you? When the big hand is over the little hand.

 

Ouch!!

[bulldog]

My M-in-L is the coolest, although I understand the jokes well.