lummox Posted February 12, 2004 Posted February 12, 2004 fukin trask was bragging to me one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." tired of his boasting, i called bullshit, "OK, trask, how about Jack Nicholson?" "Sure, yes, Jack and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So trask and i fly out to Hollywood and knock on Jack Nicholson's door, and sure enough, Jack shouts, " trask!" in that nasal kina psycho voice just like outta the movie the shining. "Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, i was still skeptical. After we left Nicholson's house, i tell fukin trask that i think him knowing Nicholson was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," trask says. "President Bush." "Yes," trask says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off we go. At the White House, Bush spots trask on the tour and motions him and me over, saying, "trask, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in. Let's have a cup of coffee first, and catch up." so we do. gotta say the curtains are pretty fukin swank in the presidents pad. Well, i was shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. and then theres all this travel which i am enjoying: always fly with the valium i say. After we left the White House grounds, i still was dubious. trask again implored me to name anyone else. "The Pope." "Sure!" says trask. "I've known the Pope a long time." So off we fly to Rome. old shit all over that city. and cats too which is weird. but i digress. . . trask and i are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when trask says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappeared into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later trask emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time trask returned, he found me surrounded by paramedics trying to revive me after i fainted. Working his way to my side, trask asks the medic dudes, "Wtf happened?" i looked up and said, "i was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, Who's that on the balcony with trask?" fukin trask. Quote
HRoark Posted February 12, 2004 Posted February 12, 2004 fukin trask. To our fallen comrade-in-arms, , fighting the war of spray and dying a valiant death. Quote
catbirdseat Posted February 12, 2004 Posted February 12, 2004 Trask was the embodiment of CC.com. Quote
HRoark Posted February 12, 2004 Posted February 12, 2004 Trask was the embodiment of CC.com. Where you are the sphincter Quote
jon Posted February 12, 2004 Posted February 12, 2004 posters of this thread all of I could live without i'll see you in hell! Quote
catbirdseat Posted February 12, 2004 Posted February 12, 2004 Trask was the embodiment of CC.com. Where you are the sphincter A sphincter is supposed to determine when excrement will pass. I have no control over that, whereas the mods do. Quote
ScottP Posted February 12, 2004 Posted February 12, 2004 To our fallen comrade-in-arms, , fighting the war of spray and dying a valiant death. become a fountain of flavor burp borscht chew the cud churn some sputter clean the backs of my teeth commit esophagus abuse decorate the sink do some ab crunches the hard way do some supermodel push-ups feed some baby birds gargle the organic way give the ants some mana from heaven give the janitor something to sprinkle sawdust on give my intestines the day off have a Roman after-dinner mint have premature diarrhea impersonate a gargoyle impersonate The Fly lick the lumps lose faith in the digestive system make a pea-and-carrot kaleidoscope make room for seconds make some Ethiopian cookie dough make some modern art in the bathroom marinade my tongue mix a batch of Appalachian pancake batter open the cudgates pickle my gums reconstitute some soup in the toilet reverse the food flow sample my stomach contents serve some California stew set out some gooey potpourri set out the roach buffet show up late for the hunger strike sing the Argentinian national anthem spit bits starve my tapeworm taste the creamy goodness tryout for the gymnastics team unload some vitamins use the chunky mouthwash yodel yogurt Quote
catbirdseat Posted February 12, 2004 Posted February 12, 2004 You left out "worship the great white porcelain god". Quote
HRoark Posted February 12, 2004 Posted February 12, 2004 posters of this thread all of I could live without i'll see you in hell! Thanks for the sentiment, but your poetry skill suck donkey dick. Quote
sobo Posted February 13, 2004 Posted February 13, 2004 posters of this thread all of I could live without i'll see you in hell! Thanks for the sentiment, but your poetry skill suck donkey dick. Uhhhhhh, it's called a "haiku". The form is characterized by three lines of verse. The first and last contain 5 syllables, and the second verse contains 7 syllables. I thought it was quite good for the circumtance, and with a turnaround time of only 13 minutes. Some people spend years creating a single haiku, but I digress. Quote
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