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Posted (edited)

Ahhhhh, to be a kid again.

 

My BB gun episode revolved around a winter “Battle of the Bulge” scene. We were stalking each other in the deep snow around the high school grounds near our house. Best out of five “kills” wins the round. My brother and I were tied with 2 kills each.

 

I had him pinned down at the base of the goalpost on the football field. I was hiding behind an upturned chair/desk combo near the mid-field point. I kept plinking away at him, periodically hitting the goal post above him, sending out high-pitched “brrrings” with each contact. He later told me he had no earthly idea where I was hiding and shooting at him from.

 

I was getting tired of this, but I could have kept him pinned down all night until he ran out of ammo. Anyway, I decided to move in on him in the dark in the deep drifts and effect the first “capture of a POW” ever in our little game. It would have been such a coup!

 

As I belly-crawled toward him in the dark, periodically pinging the goalpost to keep him pinned down, I noticed little hissing noises in the snow to either side of me… At about 25 feet away and just about ready to spring on him and capture the little Nazi, he slammed one right into the end of my nose. GEEZUS that hurt! madgo_ron.gif

 

Blood everywhere! Screaming and yelling! “I give! I give!” Well, he won that one, and the folks took away the guns for good.

 

The real embarrassment came the next day, when I went to school and had to explain to the nuns what the deep, semi-circular, purple divot was in the end of my nose.

rolleyes.gif

 

Fires? Well, that'll have to be another installment... I ended up burning down a furniture storage warehouse with about $100,000 (1967 dollars) worth of inventory in it. I really smileysex5.gif up on that one!

 

Not really a fire, but I also threw a big propane cylinder (what was referrred to as a "bombola" in Italy, where we were living at the time) into a garbage fire at the edge of town. We ducked into one of the "garbage craters" that they dig in order to bury the burned garbage, and waited.

 

A short while later, we lost our hearing for several days when we blew out every window for about five blocks around. Houses and cars both! We ran like hell into the woods for miles!

 

PS: Note my autosig. It speaks volumes...

Edited by sobo
Posted

When I was a kid, me and a buddy decided we'd save ourselves the task of hauling a load of old wood and composition shingle to the dump and just burn them in our field. My friend guestimated five gallons of gas should do the job as a starter. Fortunatly we were "smart" enough to end up running a gas trail back about 20' to light it from a "safe" distance. BOOM! It knocked us both over and threw burning shingles everywhere. Durring the explosion, I remember looking at my buddy laying on the ground trying to run with his eyes squeezed shut, not realizing he was laying prone on the ground. We ran around stomping the little grassfires out until we noticed we were spreading the fires by running around with burning composition shingles stuck to our tennis shoes. Several neighbors came down to see how many windows we had knocked out of the house and yell at us. I proudly showed that only one big picture window had sustained a crack. Fortunatly my folks had put storm windows over the rest of them. One neighbor had a shingle land up in a tree that we didn't notice. Burned a big hole in his Juniper hedge. Found out it takes about as long for a pile of composition shingles to burn as a stack of tires. A week to ten days.

 

Lesson learned: Hoses are aid.

Posted

I was feeling pretty dumb about breaking the one window until the next week when my buddy went to another friends house and used 10 gallons of gas to start a brush pile on fire. They had major windows to pay for.

Posted

These stories are great! wow

 

Ok, here's on to try on your next camping trip. Take a can of vegetable grease, or bacon grease.. something along these lines. you only need a few inches of grease in an open aluminum can. Put this open grease can into the fire and get it HOT. Then you tie another can with the top cut off, into the crook of a large limb. After filling this can with cold water and allowing your grease can in the fire to get quite hot, stand back and dump the cold water into the hot grease from several feet above. Watch the explosion. Usually a 10' bough is long enough to keep you ok.

Posted

Punk tricks by a hick kid

 

Filled my front of my mouth with lighter fluid, lit a match in front of my face then spat the light lighter fluid toward the ceiling. Big ball of fire. Wanted to be Gene Simons of KISS.

 

Walked through a camp fire in bare feet and shorts when drunk off my ass

 

Started the neighbors hay field on fire

 

Hit a cow that was running down the road right in it's ass with my '67 Fury, shit went flying all over the car. Later that day went to the farmer who owned the cow to confess. My dad and I helped him butcher the cow.

Posted

One halloween we got .22 starters pistols and spent the night driving around in the minivan with ski masks on, shooting at trick or treaters - Funniest reaction was two punks with their dates and the punks hit the dirt while the girls were left standing screaming.

 

Then we got bored so we stole probably 30+ pumpkins and drove to the end of main street. The end of main street is this really, really steep hill. We popped the hatch and laughed as the pumpkins rolled down the hill taking out objects to the left and right of the road. Sailing past the courthouse and on to the main drag.

 

Don't remember too much after that but it did involve lots of explosives, a baseball bat, a pellet gun, and a roadcheck.

 

The next morning the north end of Main street was stained orange!

Posted

I'm thinking that some of you should have thought to record your childhood entertainment/explorations and put out Jack Ass the movie back in the 70s. It is a wonder any of you made it. yellaf.gif

Posted
more reminising... anyone ever have one of those 50cc motorbikes? I had one when I was probably 8years old. I remember racing cars with it... never did win but did come close to finishing the game

 

no, but the 125 dirt bike got crashed too much while we were in our teens.

Posted (edited)

At Scout camp one summer we waited for a particularly hated,overbearing and nerdy counselor,and a "city boy" to boot (we called him "Pearshape") to enter the old outhouse,then snuck up behind and threw a bomb made of a half-dozen M-80's wired together through a hole in the siding,then sat back to watch.When it exploded,the resident nest of yellowjackets under the roof were,to put it mildly, aroused, and within seconds, Pearshape came bursting out the door,screaming(he was too religious to swear),his pants around his ankles,his ass and legs plastered with well-seasoned shit, and covered with dozens of angry,stinging yellowjackets,as he hopped,stumbled,rolled and thrashed and flailed on his way to the nearby Brazos River.Every time he slapped at the yellowjackets on his legs and ass,he just got more shit on his hands,and then of course he had to slap at the ones on his face and neck and in his hair,and well,you get the picture.We had hell for weeks after that,but were the camp heroes for years,even among some of the Scoutmasters,who didn't care much for Pearshape either.Nowdays you'd get sued bigtime for something like that.But those ol' Texas country boys did play a little rough.

 

We also used to draw straws to see who would climb out on the hood to clean the windshield while a carload of us went tooling down the freeway in Ft.Worth at 60 MPH in our '53 ford coupe.If it took you more than a minute you had to do the rear window,too,or they wouldn't let you back in the car; and they might not anyway if you didn't do a good enough job.

 

Lesson learned: Give 'er hell!

 

grin.gifbigdrink.gif

Edited by Mtguide
Posted
At Scout camp one summer... Every time he slapped at the yellowjackets on his legs and ass,he just got more shit on his hands,and then of course he had to slap at the ones on his face and neck and in his hair,and well,you get the picture...

 

yelrotflmao.gifyelrotflmao.gifyelrotflmao.gifyelrotflmao.gifyelrotflmao.gifyelrotflmao.gifyelrotflmao.gifyelrotflmao.gif

Posted
I'm thinking that some of you should have thought to record your childhood entertainment/explorations and put out Jack Ass the movie back in the 70s. It is a wonder any of you made it. yellaf.gif

 

I get numerous requests/suggestions from the folks I work with (and have worked with) that I should write a book of my "experiences" as a child and young adult. I'm sure that a lot of us on this board could do the same, and they would all be highly entertaining reads. We just don't want every dumb-ass thing we ever did recorded for posterity. yellaf.gif

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