Scott_J Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 S O M E T I M E S Sometimes... when you cry... no one sees your tears. Sometimes... when you are in pain... no one sees your hurt. Sometimes... when you are worried... no one sees your stress. Sometimes... when you are happy.. no one sees your smile. But FART!! just ONE time.. And everybody knows!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minotaur Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott_J Posted October 10, 2003 Author Share Posted October 10, 2003 A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed his Social Security application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott_J Posted October 10, 2003 Author Share Posted October 10, 2003 How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott_J Posted October 10, 2003 Author Share Posted October 10, 2003 Southern Obituary A woman from the deepest, most southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word. She pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read, 'Billy Bob died.'" Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor says, "Sorry ma'am, there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries." Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says... "In that case, let it read, 'Billy Bob died - 1938 Pickup for sale.'" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott_J Posted October 10, 2003 Author Share Posted October 10, 2003 Is there any truth to this internet story? Chip off the Old Block Have you heard? Chelsea Clinton has been boozing it up at Oxford. At first, she denied having an affair with that bottle. Then under cross-examination, admitted drinking but claimed it didn't count because she threw-up two hours after. Finally, she apologized to her fellow students and moved out; taking all their furniture with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 horse walks up to the bar bartender says, "why the long face?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Figger_Eight Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 ..."No - it's just ice cream." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cracked Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 sisu_suomi said: Is there any truth to this internet story? Chip off the Old Block Have you heard? Chelsea Clinton has been boozing it up at Oxford. At first, she denied having an affair with that bottle. Then under cross-examination, admitted drinking but claimed it didn't count because she threw-up two hours after. Finally, she apologized to her fellow students and moved out; taking all their furniture with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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