Beck Posted October 3, 2003 Posted October 3, 2003 "Teddy Ruxpin and the Twin Towers of Doom" The respect for climbers accomplishments in the vertical arena stick to the forefront of mountain legend. Some are long held dear by the climbing community. Some won’t go away even after the free buffet’s ended... Such is the unfortunate fame of esteemed ursine alpinist Teddy Ruxpin. Teddy barreled onto the climbing scene back when the soviet curtain wasn't even heard of. Seemingly Eurotrash in mannerism, Teddy’s origins and ethnicity weren’t clear. Some said He was Russian. Some said black. Others speculated the silver in his fur pointed to the Polar regions. When asked about his family history Teddy’d reply “I’m just a Baa-hstaard bear” in that self effacing way everyone loved.... to be continued... Quote
Beck Posted October 3, 2003 Author Posted October 3, 2003 cracked, you may not remember the first teddy love fest on this site... ....This recounting of his failed expedition on the Twin towers of Doom serves as a cautionary tale of what can happen when grizzled old schoolers meets climbings’ nouveau garde in the alpine arena. Albeit horrifying in places, this story may serve to inform the reader what happens when you mix high altitude with hijinks. Teddy’s fame as a climber started back in the early days of Camp Four,lost arrows and free love. He was found out on the big walls in Yosemite valley with Harding and Salathe when the concept of ‘free’ climbing was just a dream in some britons minds. He was hammering up overhanging aid pitches in long weeks spent solo out on big walls somewhere in the early days of the valley; his habit of scratching a skull and crossbones at the base of the climb would generally discourage any climbers intent in following Teddy Ruxpin up the rock. to be continued... Quote
cracked Posted October 3, 2003 Posted October 3, 2003 Look Beck, your first story was quite funny, but don't try to recreate something original. This is simply pathetic. Quote
Beck Posted October 3, 2003 Author Posted October 3, 2003 thanks, cracked, this story teddy swings on the mainstream side of the fence... its totally new... and quite disgusting once things get heated up... let's just say the twin towers of doom aren't just a pair of spires in the death zone of himalaya, the first story i tried to get teddy to swing on the other side of the fence, remember? and the trip was in the cascades. this new trip is a huge expedition up the alpine environ... more to come tommorrow... being a writer, this stuff flows like water in the days of my life. Quote
Beck Posted October 4, 2003 Author Posted October 4, 2003 Although Teddy Ruxpin never would admit to possessing a valid passport, he was found sending first ascents along with Royal, Salathe and that wild bunch of derilects inhabiting camp 4 . He climbed in India and the shadowy regions of Nepal and Tibet back when Himalayan climbing meant more than buying into a trade route on overrun guided highways for the rich and famous. He disappeared from the scene in the early eighties. He was said to be making a killing in land deals with some friends of his in the local savings and loan. They were trading lands around Telluride that started out dirt cheap and spiraled into multi million dollar plots. Dry plots, too- not a drop of water to be had! When Teddy Ruxpin disappeared from the colorado land swap scandal, he wasn’t heard much of for several years. Rumors of him, living the itinerant life in Chamonix and Oslo, when he wasn’t climbing tough routes in the Alps, or sending FAs on chossy sea rock along the Mediterranean coast. Though there were rumors of scandals involving illegal boarder crossings and chocolate smuggling across the Swiss alps, Teddy was always exonerated fully of any wrongdoing. to be continued Quote
Beck Posted October 5, 2003 Author Posted October 5, 2003 Teddy Ruxpin- the next time he showed up in the climbing scene he was in the Himalaya. Teddy showed up at the everest base camp this spring, for the fiftieth anniversary of hillarys first successful climb and descent of her flanks. He showed up with a big bang and a show, his entourage of climbers and support staff this last april. Who did teddy team with for his insane alpine push into the death zone? Was it Twight, Backes? Gator, Kellog? was it Conrad or Ed? NO, Teddy Rux was climbing as a team with two tall, lanky blonde Swedes by the names Inma and Helda- these two women, sexy, sapphic, and deadly, were what led Teddy Ruxpin the esteemed ursine alpinist, down the path of bad decisions. These two rock dominatrix, ripped and buff examples of femininity and power, were the “Twin Towers of Doom” that, quite literally, brought Teddy to his knees and beg for mercy. to be continued.... Quote
Beck Posted October 6, 2003 Author Posted October 6, 2003 the buzz began back in the Spring of 2003. there was talk between the guides at mountian madness and AAI about a strange fuzzy climbers sending speed ascents with two dark and tall forgeiners. The rumors abounded. Some thought the buzz was about Dan -, others had heard from the european connection, that, yes, Teddy Ruxpin was back and stronger than ever. Teddy was back. He came to the Norhtwest, it was found out, to seek out his climbing partner, Cracked. Teddy left Cracked on the fifth pitch of the North ridge of Stuart when Cracked kept 'checking on my buckle, if it was double backed, then groping me' at least that's what the summit registry had said... his scrawled pseudonym "Todd Ruxpathle" seen in the summit registrys around the Northwest this spring pointed to Teddy R's return to the climbing arena. The question was, where was he going to climb? This was the burning question , it felt like a bad case of the clap after a thailand "climbing" trip... Quote
Wopper Posted October 6, 2003 Posted October 6, 2003 The first one was stupid and so is this one. Quote
Minotaur Posted October 6, 2003 Posted October 6, 2003 Wopper said: The first one was stupid and so is this one. Werd. Quote
Minotaur Posted October 6, 2003 Posted October 6, 2003 Beck, how about writing the entire story at once, editing it, then posting. This two sentences at a time bullshit is just that. Quote
EWolfe Posted October 6, 2003 Posted October 6, 2003 Maybe the furries website would get excited - try there! Quote
cracked Posted October 6, 2003 Posted October 6, 2003 I don't have photoshop, so could someone up a nice big red circle and cross over this? And quit emailing me Beck, I don't give a rat's ass of what you think. Quote
Beck Posted October 6, 2003 Author Posted October 6, 2003 hehehehe you all are forgetting the artistic (or lack thereof) in this story... it is a serial, like you read a new chapter, oh, every day.... it's dipshits like cracked and minotaur that break up the continuity. this is humor, it is a story, and it is getting a new chapter every day. I don't care what you guys think of my amatuer attempts at smut lit, but you obviously do care... if you don't wat to read it, don't look at the3 post. you dissenters must not think its boring because you have to KEEP LOOKING IN EVERY DAY and post your lame attempts at, what, humor, no, idioticy, that's it... Cracked ,you are now an integral part of the twin towers of doom, boy. internet persona, meet internet sick twisted bear. more tommorrow... Quote
Beck Posted October 7, 2003 Author Posted October 7, 2003 pulling the plug, trask! teddy says he's pitching it the Oldenburg at Universal Studios and to "stop wasting your breath on those hosebags." sorry, trask. I'm about as over it as you are. Quote
Minotaur Posted October 7, 2003 Posted October 7, 2003 Thank God! Beck, you're a clueless dumbfuck. Give up on the bear. Quote
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