allthumbs Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy by the name of BigStroker with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen. The woman asked BigStroker if it's true what they say about men with big feet. He grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady! Why don't you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?" The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill. Blushing, he said, "Well, thankee, ma'am. Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before." The woman replied, "Don't be flattered... take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lummox Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 There was a midget (little person) down in Texas whose testicles ached almost all the time. So he finally went to his doctor and told him what the problem was. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left one and told the midget to turn his head and cough--the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" mumbled the doc, and putting his finger under the right one, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip, snip, snip, snip on the right side then snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, so he stared at the ceiling. But noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to get dressed and see if they still ached. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around the doc's office and discovered his groin area was no longer in any pain. The midget said, "Perfect, Doc, and I didn't even feel it... What did you do?" The Doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefan Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family." The moral of this story is: always keep your condoms in your car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lummox Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 The "Coho," not being native to Lake Michigan waters has experienced difficulty in surviving the final swim up the Lake Michigan feeder streams. She has been losing her roe on the rocky bottoms, and if she got far enough upstream into the small pools, she has had great difficulty getting back into the main stream over the sand bars, etc. In fact, as high as 90 percent were dying in the upper reaches of the Lake Michigan tributaries, which caused a pollution and odor problem. The Lake Michigan Department of Fishing decided to cross breed the "Coho" with the native "Walleye" for two reasons: (1) the "Walleye" had the strength and knowledge to get through the Lake Michigan tributaries. (2) the "Walleye" was not prone losing the roe while going upstream. This new strain was called the "Co-Wall." However, in cross-breeding, the fight that the "Coho" was noted for was lost to the more sluggish tendencies of the "Walleye." To combat this sluggishness, the experiment went further. They bred the "Co-Wall" with the greatest fresh water fighter in North America, the "Muskie." This created a hybrid, double cross-breed introduced as a top American game fish. They named this fish "Co-Wall"Ski," and now they have to teach the dumb son-of-a-beech how to swim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sobo Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 Being second generation Polish myself, I can appreciate the humor of that little gem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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