Seahawks

Lesson # 2: You are alone and enemy soldiers have cornered you. You have a pistol that has 8 bullets left, and you are facing 20 soldiers who are armed with heavy-duty machine guns. You are good as dead. What do you do?! Steven Seagal won’t cry and suck his thumb in a situation like this. He’d get his pistol, which magically refills itself out of nowhere, to shoot the 20 bad guys. And he’ll have enough bullets left over to kill any bad guy hiding behind his back. And yes, they’re all morons, so don’t you worry.

Lesson # 1: A band of rogue soldiers have taken over the train you are riding. From the train, they have taken over a U.S. spy satellite and are using it to blow up fertilizer factories in China. They are asking for a billion dollars, or they will blow up every fertilizer factory in the world. Their leader is a guy who looks like he was picked on by kindergarten bullies when he was in college. What do you do?! For this situation, all you need is a butter knife and toast, and you can go on a killing spree. Don’t worry if your enemies went through years of training and combat to hone and sharpen their skills and killing instincts. They’re morons. You can actually have a gunfight with the whole group, do the Macarena in the middle of the crossfire, and you’ll still kill them all without getting shot. Yes, that’s what Steven Seagal would do

LOL now thats funny even you know that Seagal sitting with Carrot tops is funny. What an ass clown.

This says it all.

Maybe you can go to the Opera with your wife and watch them in tights!!!!! Superbowl is good. Onlything better would be is if Hawks were in it. You must like men in tights! E Rock too! Maybe you both can get together and slam each other on Sunday? Don’t forget to wear your tights!!! Kevbone your wife will like your feminine side and give you some sex and some time off for the mountains.

Maybe you can go to the Opera with your wife and watch them in tights!!!!! Superbowl is good. Onlything better would be is if Hawks were in it.

Congrats and remember this. Three out of four employers monitor the Internet usage of employees, and just over half of U.S. companies review and retain employee email messages, according to a 2005 survey by the American Management Association. Big Brother is no fiction. Employers are allowed to monitor what employees do on workplace computers, and many do not notify workers about the monitoring, according to the Privacy Rights Clearinghouse (PRC). In fact, there are very few laws regulating employee monitoring, and the PRC advises all employees to assume that their workplace activities and communications are being monitored. Nancy Flynn, the executive director of the ePolicy Institute in Columbus, Ohio, agrees that employees should expect to be monitored, adding they should "comply 100 percent with the employer's computer usage and content policies."

Cordyceps is checking for your cup. Sure sounds like he is. It’s not difficult to recognize what is now a typical Seagal film. While the extensive use of doubles is clearly resultant of the star’s own aging, the employ of alternative actors for looping dialogue is rather more telling.

Too easy. Just when I thought I knew everything there is to know about energy - Steven Seagal appears and shares his wisdom and experience with me! Man, do I feel stupid now. Here I am talking to everyone with a barely audible whisper, and thinking I’m doing everything I can to conserve and use my energy efficiently. As it turns out, I also need to drink 16 ounces of B-Vitamins, Ginseng, Goji Berry, Guarana, and Cordyceps at least twice a day. What the fuck are Cordyceps? All this doesn’t matter anyhow, because like his movies - This shit fucking sucks. OK, so its not the the worst tasting energy drink out there, but its pretty bad. It’s not exactly unique either, considering the fact that every other energy drink on the shelf at 7-11 has the exact same fucking ingredients (except the cordyceps). Also, just about every rapper, wrestler, and NASCAR driver seems to have their own energy drink. So I guess it all boils down to one question - “What the fuck are Cordyceps?”

LOL NY post and Chavez are more likely to be in bed with each other. That would NY Times you clueless twit. The Post is far from liberal. STFU. If you can read your post good luck, STFU Seagal is a puss.

LOL NY post and Chavez are more likely to be in bed with each other.

I bet the millions is Africa that died during Clintons presidentcy under ethnic cleansing would agree.

I quess 5 leg lifts are out of the question??? Stupid cop. Heck for 7K a jumping jack I'd ask if I could do a couple more.

She looks like she could do 5 pushups easy, not far to get the chest down.

Fla. teen gets $35G in topless lawsuit PENSACOLA, Fla. (AP) -- A teenager who sued the city after claiming a police officer forced her to do jumping jacks while topless has reached a $35,000 settlement, officials said. The City Council unanimously approved the settlement Thursday, City Manager Tom Bonfield said. Officer Shawn Patrick Shields found the girl, then 16, and a 19-year-old man together in a parked car in April 2003. Shields ordered the two teens out of the car, then told them he could arrest them for lewd and lascivious behavior, authorities said. The girl told investigators that Shields told her to perform five topless jumping jacks, which she said she did as he shone his flashlight on her. Both teenagers passed polygraph tests. Shields was later fired and pleaded no contest to extortion. He was placed on probation for two years in December 2003 and ordered to write a letter of apology to the girl. The name of the girl's attorney was not immediately known.

better, man all the drivel and worrying over what disease is going to kill me or what president was going to Nuke me was killing me. Thanks, Now go fuck your mouse.

Lions and tiger and bears oh my Disease, liberal, conservatives, sex oh my. My god you STFU and live.

The sky is falling run, your going to die.

Yo mamma so fat, that you can slap her ankles and ride the wave in.

JENA, Germany (AP) -- Scientists in the eastern German city of Jena said Wednesday they have finally given up after three years of failed attempts to entice a sloth into budging as part of an experiment in animal movement. The sloth, named Mats, was remanded to a zoo after consistently refusing to climb up and then back down a pole, as part of an experiment conducted by scientists at the University of Jena's Institute of Systematic Zoology and Evolutionary Biology. Neither pounds of cucumbers nor plates of homemade spaghetti were appetizing enough to make Mats move. "Mats obviously wanted absolutely nothing to do with furthering science," said Axel Burchardt, a university spokesman.

Those are some pretty cool pics.

Hey, the pussy is back Seagal himself.

GPS devices lead to suspects' home LINDENHURST, N.Y. (AP) -- Three thieves who allegedly stole 14 global positioning system devices didn't get away with their crime for long. The devices led police right to their home. Town officials said the thieves didn't even know what they had: they thought the GPS devices were cell phones, which they planned to sell. According to Suffolk County police, the GPS devices were stolen Monday night from the Town of Babylon Public Works garage in Lindenhurst. The town immediately tapped its GPS system, and it showed that one of the devices was inside a house. Police said that when they arrived there, Kurt Husfeldt, 46, had the device in his hands. Husfeldt was charged with criminal possession of stolen property. His 13-year-old son also was arrested on grand larceny charges. Town officials said the boy committed the burglary with Steven Mangiapanella, 20, also of Lindenhurst. He was charged with grand larceny. Babylon installed 300 GPS devices in snow plows, dump trucks, street sweepers and other vehicles last January.

Yawn

Better check your feathers, birdbrain. I just took a big chicken dump on your head. COCK A DOODLE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Had Rhode Island red rooster once, Decided to come after me, Took a 2x4 to him, he was chicken ass after that. Just like you, big talk and no action. Back off buddy. You'll feel the wrath of my spurs. COCK A DOODLE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Spurs??? lol ring your f'ng neck. lol