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Posts posted by OlegV
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Take away all his shit and make him get a job.
I agree
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How about a exhange student stint in a third world country? Knock his perspective around a bit.
Does this program exist? It is an idea.
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We moved to the PNW from NYC a couple of years ago with the idea that things would go better for all of us. I had this weird image, that great outdoor should cure our relationship. Instead, we are now buried in the deep Portland suburbia with majority people not interested in anything but mowing their grass. I can see, how one’s world could shrink.
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We are not strict parents and he has freedom of choice - we'd sponsor anything he wants (but stupid stuff). So far, it's rock music (probably because his friends are interested in it). He has 2 guitars sitting in his room, a potential guitar teacher and tons of lyrics - hasn't been touched yet.
How do you approach a kid whose world is narrowing in front of your eyes? And I am not a pessimist in my nature (I wouldn't climb the mountain if I was).
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Ahh, it all sounds good on the paper. In the real world of raising a teen boy, you have to be a machine devoided of your own pride and personality.
I agree with Winter - we looked into various outdoor programs. They are super-$ (4,000/months!!!!).
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Is he really that bad? Or have you become jaded by having to deal with him all the time?
Probably both.
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..........race.........
We'll hear, noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
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As hard as it is, I hope you spend 95% of your energy encouraging what he does right.
Positive reinforcement. Not sure if it works, if there is nothing to reinforce.
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We've been to a school chancellor. She thinks, it is our dual culture (Russian/US) makes his adjustment hard. He moved here when he was 2. Reminds me one of my Chinese friends whose parents used to make his everyday school sandwich out of T-bone stake.
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It seems he doesn't need much money or anything at all. Just, as you said, he wants to be left alone in his room. Scary.
The main problem though is not just the lack of interests and poor grades, but never ending lies.
Have you thought about a psychiatrist r.e depression?
I don't believe in depression as a disease. Each depression has some objective background - the pills don't eliminate the real reason of unhappiness.
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Re; moving to Alaska....
Did you know that rural inhabitants have higher obesity rates, lower life expectancy, higher rates of nicotine, alcohol, and drug abuse, and higher rates of domestic violence than city dwellers? Also, they listen to more country music and more frequently reported sexual encounters with farm animals (rate 3 times higher in Kinsey report).
If you want to raise your kid right you should head for a cosmopolitan urban area, not the wilderness.
We lived in New York City for 10 years. Getto
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How about no allowance and if he wants anything even slightly spendy, he has to pay half, which means work?
It seems he doesn't need much money or anything at all. Just, as you said, he wants to be left alone in his room. Scary.
The main problem though is not just the lack of interests and poor grades, but never ending lies.
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Oleg,
He sounds just like my daughter, maybe the two should meet.
Then you could soon be a grandfather!
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I completely agree with you, Norman. I often feel in the middle of the game 'pulling the rope'. The other side always wins. MEDIA... To tell you the truth, I thought of taking a big sacrifice (or adventure) and leaving the mainstream world - moving to the remote part of Alaska and living on your own resources in complete isolation. You don’t need a time machine.
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Thanks, Alex just turned 15. I hope, this is just a shithead phase not his character for the rest of his life. There are plenty of examples, kids never grow out of this phase.
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Hope, I might get some valuable advice here, ‘cause we, climbers is the breed of the twisted-minded, brilliant and the most inspired people in the world. The story is about my son, who is growing to be pain in the butt. The kid is a troublemaker, yet, he is smart, he is capable, he has a potential for anything in the world. He has the wrong raw models – you know the kind of kids who are unmotivated, lazy and whose parents gave up on them. He is trying to be popular in the wrong way. My wife and I are very active physically and mentally – no matter what happens, we keep going, we often away from home – many say you guys don’t spend enough time with kids. I say - baloney! We do more than many other ‘conventional’ parents do: how many parents take their kids on real adventures – because they are too obese and unmotivated themselves? Alex has seen anything in his life: jungles, underwater caves full of sharks, mountains, videogames, telescopes, music, plenty of TV, foreign countries. Yet, he is growing to be a jerk. Oh yes, he doesn’t know what the real hard work is. I hate to see him growing up as a weak, selfish and uninteresting person. Just like average teens in this country. Here I ask a simple question, how do you start changing this? Feel free to give me a craaap, brothers!
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Roger, I was with the party of 3 people:
1 guy with skis
2 guys in snowshoes
I was the guy in the blue jacket Oleg
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Rojer, I was with the party of 3 people:
1 guy with skis
2 guys in snowshoes
I was the guy in the blue jacket Oleg
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Oleg, just skinned up white river to around 6k' yesterday and it was damn close to white out conditions. Can only assume it's worse over/up there.
If the weather clears some, let me know if you want a second... I'd be down for it.
Kevin, just came back from the hike to the Stone shelter on Cooper Spur. Pretty windy up there and lots of fresh snow falling. We def. should get out and do this ice when in shape!
Oleg
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check your PM
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Thanks a bunch, Alan! How was the trail - deep snow?
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9. ...but you can be Chad Anderson.
10. ...I saw you soloing pretty sick stuff.
11. Climbing is an addiction - just like marriage.
12/19. The only reason, we 'mortal climbers' can't climb 8K peaks is ridiculous international rules, restrictions, and money.
17. Rainier kicks butt of many climbers, and it is beautiful:
How to get a teenage kid of the couch?
in Spray
Posted
Yes, he's been to mother Russia a few times. He feels strong bonds with his grandparents, but he'd never live there. For him, it's a foreign country. You have the point though - having tons of relatives nearby helps!