I love shit stories!!!
Once I was in the car with three buddies, all guys. We were driving this crazy curvy mountain road that had absolutely no shoulder. I had to shit so bad I told them they had to pull over. The driver said that was impossible, there was no where to pull over. I said fine, stop right here and I'll crap in the middle of the road. No can do, someone could come speeding around one of the corners, they were all hairpin blind corners, and hit us. I'd be caught with my pants down, litterally. Well, I had to go so bad that the hair on my arms actually stood up. Now I consider that my barometer; if I don't get the shit chills, I don't really have to go that bad. Oh, except for that one time when I crapped my pants because the asshole at the seven eleven wouldn't let me use his bathroom at five am.
I don't need no sympathy buddy, just tales of woe.