Customer:
Look, it's a bleeding pet, isn't it? I've got a license for me pet dog Eric, and I've got a license for me pet cat Eric...
Shopkeeper:
You don't need a license for your cat.
Customer:
I bleeding well do and I got one. He can't be called Eric without it--
Shopkeeper:
There's no such thing as a bloody cat license.
Customer:
Yes there is!
Shopkeeper:
Isn't!
Customer:
Is!
Shopkeeper:
Isn't!
Customer:
I bleeding got one, look! What's that then?
Shopkeeper:
This is a dog license with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'cat' written in in crayon.
Customer:
The man didn't have the right form.
Shopkeeper:
What man?
Customer:
The man from the cat detector van.
Shopkeeper:
The looney detector van, you mean.
Customer:
Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.
Shopkeeper:
What cat detector van?
Customer:
The cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.
Shopkeeper:
Housinge?
Customer:
It was spelt like that on the van. I'm very observant!. I never seen so many bleeding aerials. The man said that their equipment could pinpoint a purr at four hundred yards! And Eric, being such a happy cat, was a piece of cake.
Shopkeeper:
How much did you pay for this?
Customer:
Sixty quid, and eight for the fruit-bat.