Son_of_Caveman

Jon, great job...be sure to throw in some nude koochie.

mountain violence rules!

max=lambone??

quote: Originally posted by sk: quote:Originally posted by erik: socm= some old crusty man socm= sickly obese cookie monster Thanks erik, Thaught it might be some thing like that, or perhaps some strange cult. It stands for Son of Caveman, you lunatics.

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you." He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?" The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

The origins of climbing are somewhat vague. There were no doubt cave men who scrambled up cliffs trying to escape being the meal for some relative of todays tiger. But early documented claims might be by the Abrahams Brothers whilst taking photos in the The Lake Distict. One of the contenders for the first real climb (a roped ascent with a party of more than one?) was in 1886 when Haskett-Smith made the first ascent of Napes Needle in Wasdale. The next thing you know there are loonies in tweed jackets and flat hats going all over the world, hauling cameras to unlikely looking places and snapping away. Napes Needle is currently graded as a Severe 3, which makes it a reasonable challenge and one of the classics (for &quotclassic" read - &quotThis climb should be done with a hangover and in the rain"). The Lake District has a lot of classics, and not entirely co-incidentally, a lot of pubs. So the Lake District is the home of modern climbing, but it has always kept pace with the increasing standards. Many of the early climbs were hideously unprotected chimneys and gullies (Napes Needle was quiet ahead of its time in this respect), but it wasn't long before the bolder and more foolhardy stepped out on to the faces and crack systems with a hemp rope securely tied around the waist and a bunch of slings over the shoulder. It's definitely a place to head for if you want to catch the full flavour of UK climbing. North Wales would be in a pretty close second place, and if you don't mind the longer walk-ins and are willing to trade good beer for excellent whisky, Scotland is worth the trip too. by Rob

The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no dick.

why not just end your frustration and burning desire... just say "yes" to SOCM

quote: Originally posted by sk: stalker groopie

A Scots tale One misty Scottish morning a man is driving through the hills to Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a massive red-haired highlander steps into the middle of the road. The man is at least six feet four, has a huge red beard and, despite the wind, mist, and near freezing temperatures, is wearing only his kilt, a tweed shirt and a tam-o'-shanter at a rakish angle. At the roadside there also stands a young woman. She is absolutely beautiful -- slim, shapely, fair complexion, golden hair... heart stopping. The driver stops and stares, and his attention is only distracted from the lovely girl when the red thing opens the car door and drags him from his seat onto the road with a fist resembling a whole raw ham. ''Right, you Jimmy,'' he shouts, ''Ah want you to masturbate!'' ''But......'' stammers the driver. ''Du it now - or I'll bluddy kill yu!'' So the driver turns his back on the girl, drops his trousers and starts to masturbate. Thinking of the girl on the roadside, this doesn't take him long. ''Right!'' snarls the Highlander ''Du it agin, now!'' So the driver does it again. ''Right laddie, du it agin!'' demands the Highlander. This goes on for nearly two hours. The hapless driver gets cramps in both arms, he has rubbed himself raw, has violent knob-ache, his sight is failing and despite the cold wind, he has collapsed in a sweating, jibbering heap on the ground, unable to stand. ''Du it again!'' says the Highlander. ''I can't do it any more - you'll just have to kill me!'' whimpers the man. The Highlander looks down at the pathetic soul slumped on the roadside and says, ''All right laddie. NOW, can you give ma daughter a lift to Inverness?''

What a tool you be... Trollin' for some Caveluv are ya?? Schlong beater!!

long live my keyboard and bad 'tude

quote: Originally posted by b-rock: Whatever. Notice your post was edited? Your first response was particulary caustic. Anger management, prozac, heavy sedatives, a group hug? Try something... Try something like what, b-rock. Like being the WAD you are...yeah that's right bonehead, judging from your signature portrait, you've got issues yourself.. b-rock

Yur my hero Cpt.

sk- i am a doctor, thus would be interested in examining your breasts to discuss the possibility of breast reduction. pm me for address to my home, oops, i mean office.

quote: Originally posted by MysticNacho: People are having entirely way too much fun here. Something needs to be done.

A Sweet Ass Story It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?” Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy! I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream “Oh Henry, Oh Henry!” Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, “Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff.” I said, “Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey?” (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) She screamed, “Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!” as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden... my Starburst! Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach. Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? Baby Ruth!

I'll never tell

pope's new website: popesleavins@scat.com

you've been off your meds again, haven't you Mr. Pope??

Scaling new heights Perhaps an "executive parachute" — now being marketed for businesspeople in the wake of Sept. 11's terrorist attacks — doesn't appeal for last-minute building escapes. Or maybe your job just makes you feel like climbing the walls. Whatever the case, the German makers of the gekkomat (in German, the name means "automatic lizard-climber") could be onto something. The gekkomat sticks to walls thanks to suction nozzles powered by compressed air from a tank on the climber's back. And quite a lizard it is — its creators say it can hold a ton. Did anyone say "Godzilla"?

Mountain Climber Reports Seeing Two Yeti on Mt. Everest On Thursday, September 17, 1998, Craig Calonica, a mountain climber from the USA, was descending from a high-altitude campsite on Mount Everest in the Himalayas when he spotted two Yeti lumbering through the snow. On Tuesday, October 13, "the 45-year-old skier and mountain climber" told Reuters that he "was on his way down to base camp at 17,000 feet (5,200 meters) from a camp at 21,300 feet (6,500 meters) when he saw the creatures." "He said they had thick, shiny, black fur and walked like humans except a little hunched over at the shoulders." "'My point was that I saw something and what I saw was not human, that was not a gorilla, not a bear, not a goat, and it was not a deer,' Calonica told Reuters. 'Their arms were very long, and their heads were very big.'" Calonica was with his Nepali cook when the Yeti passed them by. The sighting took place on the north face of Mount Everest, about 56 kilometers (35 miles) southeast of Dinggye, Tibet. (Many thanks to Erik Beckjord of the Sasquatch Research Project for forwarding the Reuters article.) (ParaScope Editor's Note: Another mountain climber, Reinhold Messner, recently authored a book in which he argues that the Yeti is actually a Tibetan bear; see related article for more info.)

yea, right...why didn't i think of that??

quote: Originally posted by ruddersbox: Those "hard men" ain't bitchin that there is no guide book. Go find the problems for your self, take some time, and emmulate those pictured men and bring an f'n keg of Rouge Smoke to keep the Miller lite dbags away.