bellemontagne

I'm sure Dennis the Menace has fisted many cracks during his tenure as a climber... Sorry Dennis, but that was too easy to pass up. [ 06-16-2002, 09:13 PM: Message edited by: bellemontagne ]

It's Eugene Pub Club time again. Unfortunately, we got dissed by Timm@y last week However, we had a pretty darn good time anyway. June and July Schedule: Wednesday, June 12 Wednesday, June 26 Wednesday, July 10 Wednesday, July 24 Pub Club meets every other Wednesday at 5:30 to 7:30 PM at the Columns for a crack fix. Then we meet at 8 PM at McMenamins High Street for a post climbing beer session. If you can’t make it for the climbing, then come at 8 PM for brews. See ya there!!!

Don't worry. We won't give it away. BS does a pretty good job of telling everyone about the place himself. (are we talking about the same thing?!?!?!).

Nice TR JK! What day did you go up? Oh, it might be cool if you posted the trip report in the Oregon section. I spoke with Bill on Sunday, and he said he was up there on Saturday and did a FA on a project he was working on. He was pretty psyched!! [ 06-10-2002, 12:04 PM: Message edited by: bellemontagne ]

A friend of a friend sent me this. Pretty funny... ______________________ Sam's writing test He made a 92 on the test. He made one spelling mistake, three times. The night before, we had been working on spelling words like pitch, switch, which and witch. I'm afraid I got him a little confused. I'm just glad the teacher didn't ask him to write, "I like to ride my bike." Sam's Test

Bush at the Vatican [ 06-07-2002, 12:09 PM: Message edited by: bellemontagne ]

Here are some not so great moments in sports history. Some are pretty tasteless, and some were obviously altered. You'll see what I mean... Image 1 Image 2 Image 3 Image 4 Image 5 Image 6 Image 7 Image 8 Image 9 Image 10 Image 11 Image 12 Image 13

More priceless moments brought to you by Mastercard... Priceless 1 Priceless 2 Priceless 3 Priceless 4 Priceless 5 Priceless 6

The crazy folks at Ikea are up to it again. Check out this funny commercial (Note this is a 1MB MPEG download). Ikea Commercial

quote: The pope is not reacting to a botched speech- he is in very poor health. No duh!! But, the image does make the perfect setup for a joke. I keep thinking that scandel after scandel will rock the Catholic church and cause positive changes in the Church. Being a Christian with no particular denomination, I do have respect for Catholics and some respect for the Pope. However, like you Dave I have MAJOR disagreements with Catholic theology, doctrine, and politics. After everything that has happened recently, I am beginning to wonder if the church will ever change for the better. Personally, the only way change can be forced upon the Catholic church is through the parishoners' wallets. People need to stop giving to the church until certain changes happen and certain people step down (which is beginning to happen in some areas). People also need to sue the FUCK out of the church any time some scumbag priest does anything inappropriate. Do you know how the Southern Poverty Law Center helped to bring down the KKK? They sued the hell out of them, so tthe KKK went "bankrupt" so to speak. The same thing needs to happen to the Catholic church. When an organization thrives off of power (power=money) the only way you can bring that organization down is to take away its money. The only problem is is that the Catholic church is one of the most powerful organizations in the world. It's no wonder the church has been around for so long.

A priceless moment brought to you by Mastercard

Bush or a Chimp???

The following is a link to a 1MB MP3. It's pretty freakin hilarious. Lashonda wants her cable!

Something to offend everyone! Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mom How do you know when you're really ugly? Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom? Say, "Nice Dick" How do you know when you're leading a sad life? When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends" Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Fathers day, What do single guys have? Palm Sunday Why is being in the Military like a blowjob? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel What do you call a 90 year old man who can still masturbate? Miracle Whip What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts? Her Navel What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A Bingo Machine What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside Why did God create alcohol? So ugly people could have sex too What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck What three two-letter words mean small? "Is It In?" Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you If you are having sex with two women and one more walks in, what do you have? Divorce proceedings most likely Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast? They're hiring What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common? Men miss them all Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo" What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm? A Pimp Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a Northern zoo? A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage, along with a recipe How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say Fuck? Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell "Bingo" What's the Cuban National Anthem? Row row row your boat What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale? A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time, A Southern fairytale begins "'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit" What's the best form of birth control after 50? Nudity What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes. How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch. What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why are men and parking spaces alike? Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are disabled. What have men and floor tiles got in common? If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over them for life. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,caring, and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. What is the biggest problem for an atheist? No one to talk to during orgasm. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? She is the one who can eat the last donut! Why does the bride always wear white? Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs? The blonde, because she's 18.

Top Ten Rejected Valentines Day Cards 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore. 7. This feels so good, it feels so right I just wish it wasn't $250 a night. 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass. 5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished But now I'm fulfilled. .. . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!! 4. Through all the things that came to pass Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass. 3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". 2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! 1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

Friends have told me there's not much of a climbing community in Salem. But if you drive a ways down I-5 to Corvallis and Eugene, you'll find plenty O'Climbers. If you are in to sport climbing, you can always show up at Flagstone on the weekends. People are usually pretty friendly and don't mind giving someone a belay if they need it. Plus, if you are into trad, there are a number of trad areas around. The Menagerie is in your neck of the woods. I dunno if Jim Anglin frequents this board, but I am sure he would love to show off the area to other climbers. Eugene climbers have a bi-weekly pub club if you ever want to head down to Eugene for some climbing at the columns and beer at High Street. [ 06-06-2002, 04:02 PM: Message edited by: bellemontagne ]

Speaking of Morons, a friend of mine sent this to me... LIARS, MORONS, OR BOTH? Tue May 21, 9:02 PM ET By Ted Rall The Beginning of the End for George W. Bush NEW YORK-It only lasted a few seconds, but on May 17 George W. Bush had a Bill Clinton moment, and it was magical. "Had I known that the enemy was going to use airplanes to kill on that fateful morning," George W. Bush reassured us, "I would have done everything in my power to protect the American people." Did he realize how much he sounded like his prevaricating predecessor? Were the subject something other than the murder of 3,000 innocent people, such desperate dissembling would be absolutely hilarious. In the circus of insolent hypocrites which is the Bush Administration, the best lines are reserved for the ringmaster. On that same day the creepy Dick Cheney (news - web sites) warned Democrats not to "seek political advantage by making incendiary suggestions...that the White House had advance information that would have prevented the tragic attacks of 9-11. Such commentary," Cheney emphasized, "is thoroughly irresponsible and totally unworthy of national leaders in a time of war." First: what war? And when it comes to "political advantage," it's the Bushies, not the Democrats, who have taken advantage of 9-11 to further a partisan political agenda. They used the dead of New York, Pennsylvania and Washington to push such Republican platform planks as "fast track" signing authority on free trade agreements, Internet censorship, tax cuts for the super rich and drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. To be sure, there's a war going on: a PR war. And now that Democrats are finally scoring a few points of their own, the Bushies who have been slamdunking for months are screaming foul. "Bush Knew," the New York Post screamed last week. Did he? Hell if I know. Here's a man who subverted constitutional law in order to seize the White House in a judicial coup d'état, who claimed while campaigning to be a "compassionate conservative" but turned into a Genghis Khan right-winger as soon as he took office, and who told us upfront after 9-11 that his administration would routinely lie for the sake of the "war on terror." No one can deny that the Bushies and their corporate sponsors benefited enormously from 9-11; the post-Taliban Afghan pipeline deal (closed March 7 in Islamabad) alone is worth billions of dollars. Under normal circumstances, even the suggestion that a president would deliberately stand idly by as his citizens were slaughtered en masse would be appalling. George W. Bush, however, tells Congress to go to hell whenever it requests documents or summons his staff to testify. Such a man is capable of anything. There's no smoking gun-evidence that Bush was told about the exact specifics of 9-11-so far. But it's hard to escape an inevitable, disturbing conclusion that itself bears consideration: We are in the hands of liars, morons or both. When Terrormemogate first hit the airwaves, the administration trotted out National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice (news - web sites), who serves as chief of Bush's Counterterrorism Security Group, to face the media. Rice repeatedly asserted that pre-9-11 threats of airplane hijackings had been so vague as to be useless. This is somewhat believable: any firefighter can tell you that false alarms outnumber real fires. Given such a generalized threat, you'd order your Air Force to a state of high alert. "Traditional" hijackings, after all, tend to end badly. You'd keep planes in the air and many more on the ground, ready to scramble at a second's notice. Then, if and when the predicted hijackings materialized, you could track the planes and order them shot down if necessary. If months went by without any hijackings, you might decide to lower the nation's state of readiness. On the morning of September 11th, though, just eight fighters were assigned to defend The United States of America's 3,618,770-square-mile air space. And they were piloted by weekend warriors, members of the Air National Guard. The jets weren't even in the air-they were sitting on the ground at the time of the attacks. Our state of readiness, despite the huge military defense budget that sucks millions away from starving children, compared unfavorably to Thailand's. By Rice's own admission, the Bush Administration ignored the vague, imprecise threats of which Bush was informed during his month-long August vacation, simply because they didn't specify exact times and dates. To hear her tell it, our government-our safety-is in the hands of idiots. "Administration officials insisted all last week that turning a plane into a suicide bomb was something that nobody had contemplated," Time magazine reports in its May 27th issue. "But that just isn't so. In 1995, authorities in the Philippines scuppered a plan-masterminded by Razmi Yousef, who had also plotted the 1993 World Trade Center bombing-for mass hijackings of American planes over the Pacific. Evidence developed during the investigation of Yousef and his partner, Abdul Hakim Murad, uncovered a plan to crash a plane into CIA (news - web sites) headquarters in Langley, Va. And as long ago as 1994, in an incident that is well known among terrorism experts, French authorities foiled a plot by the Algerian Armed Islamic Group to fly an airliner into the Eiffel Tower." So Rice was either clueless or lying: everybody knew that Islamist jihadis had plotted suicide hijackings well before 9-11. Nevertheless, the Bushies did nothing to improve airline security. They did nothing to prepare for the possibility of hijackings, whether suicide or traditional. They didn't even tell the airlines what they knew. Then, after 9-11, they covered up the fact that they had received numerous warnings. Moron Bush or Liar Bush-would one of you please resign?

Okay, I am bored at work... So, I have resorted to posting jokes in Spray. Enjoy. Teddy Bears Rejected by Hallmark

quote: If someone will hold him down, I'll be glad to put another one in there so the first one will not be lonely. I don't know if I would do that Allison.Polish Booby might enjoy the "Polish sausage" just a little too much.

What tele boots do you have?? I heard a rumour that Black Diamond Sabretooths will fit tele boots (although they may only fit Scarpa boots).

Has anyone made it up to Flagstone yet this season? Is the road clear? How's the snow coverage at the crags?

Don't forget tonight is Eugene Pub Club with Special appearance by Timm@y and Lords of the Underworld.

I CAN"T FUCKING BELIEVE THAT SHIT!!!! Don't get me started on those stupid little kids and their dumbass stunt

A guy had one of these at an avalanche course I attended over the winter. Digging a pit with one of these snowclaws appeared to be A LOT OF WORK. Our instructor borrowed it to try it out, but then quickly dropped the claw in favor of his shovel. A good shovel makes digging pits a lot easier.

Okay, here's the schedule for June and July's Eugene Pub Club. We are having an extra special meeting Tuesday June 4th with an unusual appearance by Timm@y! Pub Club meets every other Wednesday at 5:30 to 7:30 PM at the Columns for a crack fix. Then we meet at 8 PM at McMenamins High Street for a post climbing beer session. June and July Schedule: Tuesday, June 4 with Special Appearance by Timm@y and Lords of the Underworld!!! Wednesday, June 12 Wednesday, June 26 Wednesday, July 10 Wednesday, July 24 If you can’t make it for the climbing, then come at 8 PM for brews. See ya there!!!