JayB

I kid because I love. Bostonians seem just as uptight, less happy, and quite a bit less polite so all-in-all things are pretty good in Chailand.

Dear Uptight Seattleite, I'm a transplant in need of some communication tips. I was at a dinner party the other day, and some guy was talking about something or other, the usual liberal blah blah blah. "Well, here's the problem with that," I say, and proceed to outline what I thought was a friendly counterargument. Suddenly a hush falls over the table. Like I've just committed the worst possible faux pas by expressing an opinion. Everyone is looking at their hands, and I'm like, "What did I say?" Where I come from, conversation is like oxygen—the very life of the city. But conversation here seems to be a ritualistic exchange of platitudes. Where's the zing? Where's the humor? I'm suffocating here! Is there some way I can inject some vigor into this dreary little scene without scaring the natives? Suffocating Bostonian Dear Bostonian, You have a viewpoint, and that's valid. It's always valid to have a viewpoint. I think you will find we are very supportive of the validity of viewpoint-having. And that's why it's important to do your part and join us in viewpoint- having-validity recognition. Perhaps you could do this by not telling your dinner companions that there is some kind of "problem" with what they say. That kind of talk is likely to make anyone feel disempowered. And invalidated. If there's anything we don't tolerate, it's intolerance. All the more reason for you to express your differing opinion in a tolerant way. There are phrases you can use to express your opinion without invalidating anyone else's. Remember that being confrontational just makes things worse. So try a "humorous" approach. A little bit of the funny can go a long way toward deflating dissent. Such as: "Whoa! Slow down there, Mr. Grumpy!" Or you can say: "It is complicated, isn't it? Let's put a semicolon on this for now and come back to it some other time." Not that you can't be direct! If you're feeling bold, try this one: "It's helpful to understand that . . . " The passive voice is a terrific consensus builder! Because, after all, the important thing to remember is that we all basically agree. I think we can all agree on that. Keep that in mind and your conversations in Seattle will go much more smoothly. Dear Uptight Seattleite, Sorry to get personal, but you kind of look like you've never gotten laid in your life. Not that you haven't, but you look like you haven't. An Observer Dear Observer, Oh my. Well, I hate to say it, but I'm afraid your disrespect for women is deplorable. Do you know that word? I think it's very important to have the deepest possible respect for women and their struggles to exist in a sexist world. I myself strive to communicate with them as if they are my equals. I never approach them in an aggressive way or a way that might somehow objectify them. It might be a bit difficult for someone who hasn't studied the subject, but it's important to understand that gender roles are imposed on women by society. To keep them in line. It's true that some of them, through relentless societal pressure, seem to have developed a preference for the trappings of their inequitable societal role. Are you following this? Like red lipstick, high heels, tight skirts, and silky blouses. Also, creams to make their skin soft and silky. And perfumed hair that catches the light just so. Not that I pay attention. I don't notice the fashion trends followed by women I see on the bus, in Capitol Hill coffee shops, and in Westlake Center. Not that I can't appreciate a good-looking woman. In a respectful way, of course. There are a number of, well, total babes in my reading group. They would never wear low-slung jeans or tops that would reveal the milky-smooth skin of their midriffs. Not that I actually notice what they wear—their dog-hair-covered Gore-Tex jackets, their little mousy glasses, and their proletarian ponytails. I don't notice any of that. I think they can see by the way I smile at them that I am not noticing what they wear. And that I appreciate that they don't care about superficial things. If we ever talked about it, they would appreciate my appreciation even more. And maybe we could get to know each other a little bit better. I respect them far too much to talk to them, though.

Everyone can play along... "Initial Ideas for Naming the Drug that Became Viagra that Never Made it Out of the Original Brainstorming Session Held at the "Branding Consultant's" Office. By Jay Brazier Limpitor. Turgiplex. Flacitrel. Impotrex. Deflaphen. Inadequel. Regretacin. Chastocet. Frigalin. Celitrex. Platonidone. Castrazel. Wiltonizole. Languinex. Erodiconf. Boniquel. Rodistat. Torpizone. Emasculol. Shrivipram. Dwindovir. Regretofen. Pliatrol. Supinatol. Witherazole."

Seven Band Names That Would Be Impossible to Book. BY MIKE HAMPTON - - - - No Event Scheduled Open Date Canceled Due to Fire Postponed All Ages w/ No Cover Renovating Private Party

When it results in live offspring, I think. Might be worth reading the rest of the article.

Less-Threatening Islamist Groups. BY CHRIS WILKINSON - - - - Abu Nidal Ladies Muffin Club Hamas and Garfunkel Log Cabin Martyrs Brigade MujahaDeaniacs Gene Loves Hezbollah Al Axsa Coffee Clutch Al Jarreau Balsamic Jihad Weird Al Qaeda

Now back to the original subject: "Movies That Won't Be Shown on the Lifetime Network. BY SHYRA LATIOLAIS - - - - Mother, May I Marry a Nice Doctor You Really Like? The Ideal Husband (Not Meant Ironically) A Child Accounted For and in No Danger The Amicable Divorce and Custody Agreement A Pleasant Family Christmas The Man Who Was as Nice as He Initially Appeared to Be My Daughter's Internet Pen Pal Who Really Is Another Preteen Girl The Successful Surgery That Improved the Quality of the Patient's Life The Number of Children We Planned For, All Healthy "

Speaking of the NYRB, here's a case in point: http://www.nybooks.com/articles/19371 One of the better articles I've come across in quite a while.

Even back in the days of the skinny skis, you could be quite certain that someone's ability was inversely proportional to the amount of time that they spent whining about heavy snow. If you can't ski Northwest powder with today's skis, much less whine about it, then there are no words to describe how much you suck. However, I'd have to agree that for the folks that can't handle the terrain or the snow in the PNW, joining the Texas church-groups on the flat infinity of groomed-out monotony at Breckenridge is a much better choice.

Hell - I have listened to NPR since I was about 13, and spend enough hours at the lab everyday that I hear pretty much every program twice and....I am a contributing member. I've also had concurrent subscriptions to the New York Review of Books and The New Criterion. I'm generally less concerned with what someone believes than with why they believe it, so if I'm listening to or reading something by a smart person who's employing good information in service of logical arguments, their particular viewpoint matters less to me than you might think. if I'm not won over by them, the worst thing that can happen to me is that my arguments get that much stronger. With the notable exception of most of the callers, most of the content produced by NPR features smart people whose opinions I can at least take seriously, whether I agree with them or not. That's the biggest difference between NPR and Air America, and that's probably a major reason why the network imploded. It's not that there's not a market for left-of-center commentary on the Radio, it's that for the most part the content sucked in a massive way. The fact that the management was clearly incompetent as hell didn't help, but I doubt things would have been different even with the best management in the business. The fact that people who - whatever anyone may think of them - know how to run radio stations profitably want to pick up the one or two viable shows from the rubble is no more a vindication of "Air America" than someone buying Enron's natural gas pipelines in a post-bankrupty trustee auction is a vindication of Enron's business plan or management flair. If anything, the fact that someone can take the same assets and make a profit with them is a further indication of just how inept and useless the folks running the show at "Air America" were from the get-go. The fact that most businesses start out with an operating loss is hardly news, but it's hardly a credit to Air America to point this out that they share this trait with business that, unlike this enterprise, eventually went on to turn a profit without passing through bankruptcy. How any of this constitutes any sort of peril for me, let alone "Great Peril," is quite beyond me, unless by "Great Peril" you mean "that which may, at most, elicit a bored yawn."

McSweeney's Internet Tendency Kind of a hit-or-miss anthology of lists that I heard about on NPR the other day. Samples. "Toddler T-Shirt Slogans. BY DARRYL BERGER - - - - Acceptable Ask me about the C-section. More of a tit man, thanks. Still pissed about missing the millennium. I buried my heart at Legoland. Waiting for Godot. Don't let Tony Danza touch me. Stop the war. Already. Stunt double for Katie Holmes's baby. Unacceptable Property of Child and Family Services Glad those stairs were carpeted. Slap me if you love Jesus. Not quite getting this whole "MILF" phenomenon. I beheld then because of the voice of the great words which the horn spake: I beheld even till the beast was slain, and his body destroyed, and given to the burning flame. Daddy didn't want me. Ask me about the extra digit. Grandma won't shut up. " "TOURISM SLOGANS THAT FAILED TO SEAL THE DEAL by Michelle Orange Kyrgyzstan: Kazakhstan’s Mexico Germany: Let It Go Venezuela: We Dare You Cambodia: Nike’s Best Kept Secret It’s Worse in Western Samoa Canada: Turn Left at Greenland Syria: Come for the Ruins, Stay Because We Confiscated Your Passport" "BARTLETT’S FAMILIAR QUOTATIONS by Martin Bell “Hi there. John Bartlett.” —John Bartlett “Reservation should be under ‘Bartlett.’ That’s two T’s. Yes. ‘Bart- let-et.’ ” —John Bartlett “Yep, that was me. I’m that Bartlett.”—John Bartlett “Yes, I’d like another one.” —John Bartlett “. . . and I said, ‘Yeah, and you can “quote” me on it!’ Ha, ha!”— John Bartlett “Ah, yes, where’s your restroom?”—John Bartlett “Hey there, my little . . . my little cowgirl. I’m Jack Bartlett. Want credit for a quotation? I don’t think anyone’s laid claim to your phone number yet. Nice. Just . . . just one second, let me get a pen.”—John Bartlett “That’s not funny. It’s not funny. Don’t ask me what, you know what. The little quote fingers. All the goddamn time. Everything I say. Just . . . just stop. Okay?”—John Bartlett “No, how about you please leave the premises? Huh? How about you don’t make a scene? How about . . . how about that? Well, fine. Fucking . . . fine. Don’t touch me! Don’t you dare touch me! Fuck you, you fucking piece of . . . of fuck. How’s that for a bloody quotation?”—John Bartlett “Oh, nice one, honey. Yes. Clever. That’s becoming quite a familiar quotation in its own right, isn’t it? Maybe I should just add it to the next edition. ‘Mother was right.’ Author: Mrs. Bartlett, world- renowned nag. Year: 1859. Attribution: A short play entitled Every Goddamn Weekend.”—John Bartlett “Right. Well, you call him and talk about it. Hey, and when you bring it up, ask him about the ‘Bartlett’s’ on the cover. Singular possessive, mind you. Note where the apostrophe is. Ask him if he thinks you’re entitled to half the royalties. Just ask him. I have my hunch, but I’m sure his legal opinion counts for a lot more. Go on, call Stanley. If you need me, I’ll be in bed.”—John Bartlett" "CINEMATIC EXPRESSIONS OF INNER SELF-LOATHING IF THERE WERE NO MIRRORS TO SMASH by Ross Murray Junkie jazz singer sees self in back of spoon; uses telekinetic powers to bend it until it snaps in two. Actress who clawed her way to the top catches reflection in pond; uses nearby backhoe to drain pond. Woman who married for wealth rather than love looks at photo on driver’s license; goes to DMV to ask for new photo. Politician who has forsaken his grassroots values discovers potato in shape of own head; mashes it. Burned-out rock star looks down at himself during out-of-body experience; refuses to go back in body “until we start seeing some changes around here, mister.” Aging supermodel has plaster cast made of face; backs over it in SUV. Alcoholic author looks at reflection in a tumbler of Scotch; drinks Scotch; pours another to see if he looks any better in this one."

Dang. When you said anti-democratic I was hoping that someone finally put an initiative on the ballot that would eliminate the opportunity for the population to draft policy via direct popular vote. Anyhow - speaking of policy, even though the extent to which the proposed ramp will affect the UW rock is unclear, I still think that it's worthwhile for people who care about the rock to register their concerns via informed letters so that, at a minimum, the folks who are doing the planning will take steps to mitigate the project's impact on what a few of us consider to be a valuable resource within the city.

The point is Fairweathers because he didn't act like an imbecile and beat the crap out of Winter for no good reason? If my hunch about the size-differential is correct, and he was polite during their interaction, then was probably because he chose to be polite, not because he had to be. Big difference.

I would never vilify a prostitute nor an intern based solely on their chosen career Since we are speaking of both the real world and chosen careers, what is it that you do for a living? I'm guessing that it's something rather closer to the former than the latter. Perhaps a hybrid of the two - something as tough to get into and highly esteemed as the first, combined with the pay of the second?

If you would remember correctly, I said I grew weary of argument with those that in a different context I might actually like; nothing above contradicts this sentiment, as near as I can tell. Not that I couldn't be wrong, mind you. Arrogance and un-grounded viewpoints are a rather common lot for humanity, especially the males of our species (perhaps they have the most to lose?). Well, I can't say that your conclusions concerning me are wrong, but if we were to extend the in-person conjecture a bit further and you actually met the object of your intial statement, you'd find that she's a very nice woman who spends most of her time caring for some of the sickest, poorest, and most destitute folks in the country, and that she really didn't deserve to be brought into this conversation as an oblique means of attacking me, however tantalizing the chance to fire of a moderately-clever retort may have been.

I'm guessing that there was a fairly significant disparity in their builds that would not have worked in Winter's favor had the interaction been something other than polite, so perhaps the point should be ceded to Fairweather.

Are you being so sensitive because your wife is in the profession also? BTW - wasn't it not so long ago that you swore off posting on account of the fact that you found that it brought out the worst elements of your personality. I remember some such parting declamation coming from you not too long ago. Given the tenor of your last post, it would appear that your interactions with me are especially potent in that regard. With that in mind, who is really getting the worst of this exchange, kemosabe?

Hahaha. My, my, my. This thread is full of surprises, isn't it. Next we'll see the evil homonym chiming in with his own riposte. Moderately more clever, but very un-Zen of you, nonetheless, comrade. I think that both the hourly pay and the hours during the average residency are such that most prostitutes might well decline the opportunity to trade places, so perhaps she would be less insulted by the comparison than you think.

Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. I think you could have made whatever point you set out to make with touch more class. If you can't make the point without insulting someone's wife, even if the insult is rather tangential to some other point that you are trying to drive home, then you lack both class and imagination IMO. I don't necessarily think that you lack either, which is why I don't quite understand why you chose that tack.

C'mon dude. Talking shit about each other and calling each other names is all well and good, but even in the midst of this free-for-all, most folks draw the line somewhere, and that's line is usually drawn a ways short of baiting someone by insulting wives, kids, etc - who have neither entered the fray nor deserve to be interjected into it. I know what you are doing, and I suspect that Fairweather won't take the bait, but this was uncalled for and I plan to lobby behind the scenes to enforce the "no spouse and family" rule in here. Doesn't seem like too much to ask of everyone.

That's a good question. I'd think that at the very minimum the UW climbing club and the Mountaineers and the Washington Climber's Coalition - and perhaps even the Access Fund - could submit statements on behalf of the rock. I think that a well-constructed letter from an organization would go a long way towards enhancing the legitimacy of the arguments put forward by individual citizens. This is something that could be done fairly quickly as a first stage, and then perhaps we - in the royal sense - could get an advisory comittee together to stay on top of the project and provide input. I realize that I am pretty much volunteering other people for this, but there's not much I can do in person seeing as I am only halfway through the three-year sentence that I'm serving on the East Coast. Even if the organizations don't get involved in this one, it seems as though there's enough concerned folks chiming in on this thread to get some kind of a group together to tackle this. I'll send some money and write some letters. If anyone has a copy of Erik Wolfe's guide to UW rock, there's some good historical information in the intro that could be integrated into a statement that explains the rock's significance and why it should be formally addressed in the off-ramp planning and construction. T

Hell - if we really get organized maybe we could lobby them to make the sound wall a climbable structure on the side that faces the UW wall. If they're going with the conventional tilt-up construction all that they'd have to differently is lay down a bunch of small stones before they poured the slabs. Just imagine the mega-traverse you could develop on that sucker.

I have zero technical insight into how this stuff works, but I have seen a bunch of blogs where the link to an external video actually plays in the same window where the link is displayed, and the "link" that you click on is an image which shows the first frame of the video file that's stored at GoogleVideo or Youtube. Is this kind of what you guys were thinking of or did you have something else in mind? I think that they do something like this with the video content that they post at www.oregonkayaking.net and it's pretty dope.

I think that you and Jon are both right. I think they'll pay more attention to what we have to say if it's clear that we actually know what we are talking about, and if it's does look like the ramps would hose the rock, the best course of action would be to persuade them to move the structure, rather than trying to get them to radically alter a project of this size, scale, and importance that they've already sunk quite a bit of time and money into planning. I'm in the middle of what's going to be a long and busy day. Maybe someone with a day-off or otherwise endowed with some free time could try to get a definitive answer to the first question and we can take it from there.