free beer

[allthumbs]

A redneck goes to a pharmacist and says: "I got a hot date tonight, an' I need me some pertection. How much is a pack a' dem rubbers gonna cost me?"

 

The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax."

 

To which the redneck replies: "TACKS! Gawd a' mighty, don't they stay on by themselves?"

[Dr_Flash_Amazing]

Fuck, Trask, you started the thread, and you're already off topic with the first post. The hell's wrong with you, son?

[sexual_chocolate]

God trask, I hope you didn't actually try to use tacks!

 

[ 10-11-2002, 04:26 PM: Message edited by: sexual chocolate ]

[thelawgoddess]

dat dere wuz reel god!

[Muir_on_Saturday]

quote:

---

Originally posted by thelawgoddess:

dat dere wuz reel god!

---

pleasure bumps?

[catbirdseat]

You want on topic? Here goes.

 

A beer company decides to market a new brand of beer. To launch this new beer they need a name, so they decide to host a nationwide contest. Whoever's idea get's picked would get all the beer they could drink for a lifetime.

 

So after three months of people writing in with their ideas, the committee chooses the winning name, "Loving by the Lake", sent in by Elmer P. Fudd of Upper Bumbfuck, Tennesee.

 

A television crew was dispatched to Bumbfuck to interview Mr. Fudd. They find the gentleman on his porch in his rocking chair smoking his pipe. They asked him, "Elmer, tell the people how you came up with this interesting name for our wonderful new beer".

 

Elmer takes a draw on his pipe and says, "well, ya see, it happened like this. I was down by the like fishin' with a six-pack of that there new beer of your'n expectin' insp'ration to come. I happened to spot a young couple havin' sex in the bushes over on the other side. They did't have the slightest notion I was watchin'.

 

"Well, I took a sip of your beer and I thought some. An' I took a sip and thought some more. And then it come to me, Lovin' by the Lake.

B'cause they're both FUCKIN' NEAR WATER".