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the various levels of military service and how much they entitle one to tell everyone else what to do and what to think:

 

never served = stfu

served as a remf = stfu but you were warmer in the past

served and had some really hairy training exercises = you're an ok guy but stfu

served in a combat theater but never had to clean other's bodily fluids off boots = ok you're one of us but i had it worse and am subsequently wiser now

served and removed bodily fluids from boots with a simple wipe = cover me!

served and had to dig bodily fluids out of bootlace eyelets = you are all-knowing and comletely impartial, everyone should just listen to you because we are weak and fawn at your manly presence

 

 

Served in the US Navy = please continue with your buggery

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