Dwayner Posted May 27, 2001 Share Posted May 27, 2001 Greetings, everybody! Is it just me, or are the rest of you folks starting to miss the snappy patter that once ensued within topics such as Big Lou, Jr.? Haven't seen much of it the last few days. Maybe everybody's out climbing! Anyway, that sort of banter sure makes it fun amidst the more serious stuff. And it's not really spray in my book. I guess if it's a separate topic, it shouldn't bother anyone. The title might suggest it's controversial or non-technical as oppossed to Mt. Rainier route conditions. Speaking of Mt. Rainier, anyone see any triple ski tracks up there near the guide's shelter at Camp Muir? Where are you, Big Lou, Jr.? - Dwayner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pope Posted May 29, 2001 Share Posted May 29, 2001 Three tracks? Whatever are you talking about? I was up on the Muir Snowfield Saturday, and the only strange tracks I saw looked more like two very widely-spaced ski tracks with a sort of snow-board-sized track between them. Could this be what you're talking about? But as for three-track ski trails, negatory on that. I heard a rumor that Lou was hanging around the Whitaker Bunkhouse over the weekend, signing autographs and flirting with the young girls in his fan club. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwayner Posted May 30, 2001 Author Share Posted May 30, 2001 Mr. Kassidy: Your description of the Muir tracks could indeed be evidence that the Great One was had passed through. With all of this news about people stranded on Liberty Ridge, you can almost bet Big Lou came to the rescue. Do you think he has his own chopper license? (And maybe his own chopper?) I bet you that with one hand on the controls, he could hover over the Ridge and if he couldn't grab these guys by the scruff of their necks and toss 'em in the back seat, he could probably snag all four with an ice axe and fly away to a parking lot. Or maybe he got dropped off, hooked all of them guys to his harness, and paraglided down to Ipsut Creek with his Super-Lou Paraglider!! Bartender? Would you bring me a couple more pitchers of whatever we've been drinking... Now everybody raise your glasses. You, too, Iambone. "To Big Lou!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pope Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 "To Big Lou." And another offering: "To our wives and to our mistresses...may they never meet." To summarize testimony in the autobiographical MEMOIRS OF A MOUNTIN' GUIDE, once Lou and his buddy Wick were called up for a rescue on the Willis Wall. Apparently, when the chopper landed near Liberty Cap, Lou and Wick launched out into the night, into the rarified air, where the mountain was "really showing off." They raced to where a huddle of forty or so "would-be rescuers" were peering over the edge of the Willis Wall, overcome by inertia. One of them warned Lou that to step over that edge was to take one's life in one's own hands. A disgusted Big Lou protested, "What's with you asses? Somebody get me a rope." And with that, Lou and Wick belayed down the treacherous ice to offer hope where no other hope existed. What a life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwayner Posted May 30, 2001 Author Share Posted May 30, 2001 Anybody got a Big Lou-Haiku in them? Anybody? Go ahead! Give it a try! You can bet when I get one going here soon, I'll post it right here so keep checkin'! In the meantime, anybody got a Big Lou-Haiku in them? Dwayner P.S. Anybody seen my beer-bong? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pope Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 Dwayner, here's my best shot at a Big-Lou Haiku: Big Lou leaves big tracks, from skis and God knows what else. What are his options? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter_Puget Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 My view of the Gods An ideal for my living I am cleansed by Lou Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeadam Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 we may never meet Cause Lou I don't know your tong Fred Beckey rules all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pope Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 Big Lou be big boy, a big hero big boy Lou: he's proportional. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblakley Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 trouser volcano village girl climb high Mt. Lou run villagers run! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeadam Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 jblakley---that's a GOOD one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblakley Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 Thanks Mike, I was inspired by the fresh batch of provacative pics sent to me by Donna Two Step ;-) She is just sooooo hot! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwayner Posted May 31, 2001 Author Share Posted May 31, 2001 All you Hai-Ku-Dudes! YOU ROCK!!!! Excellent contributions to the new wave of mountaineering expressionistic literature. Totally beats that Mark Twight self-loathing, Angst und Schmerz, agony and insecurity crap! You all have inspired me to be more like Big Lou. And who knows, maybe after a few pitchers tonight, I'll be spewing out a few haikus myself. And after a few more, I'll be thinkin' I'm Big Lou. Yodelayeeooo! - Dwayner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pope Posted May 31, 2001 Share Posted May 31, 2001 Here's a couple more for you Donna (and I hope these will persuade you to give me another shot): Lou...Sofa King Big, The Girth Alone Inspires Awe. Brother Jim's Big Too. Â Yo Donna Top-Step, You Sexy Little Ho Bag, You Are HOT, HOT, HOT. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 31, 2001 Share Posted May 31, 2001 Dwayner! What's going on with all this Big Lou hang-up! You're "pope's" mousey little friend aren't you? Guess what! You never stood a chance. (If that's not you, sorry for the implication!) As for you, "pope", here's my contribution to mountaineering poetry. Guy calls himself "pope" Lazy, barely employable, schmuck tiny little wenis sketchin' on 5.6 Sofa-King lame Inconsequential.... Mr. Blakely? I doubt if you have pictures of me unless "pope" or one of his ignorant voyeuristic pals passed a few over. They're the type who set up "toilet-cams" in latrines or snap walk-by pictures of girls changing out of jog-bra's. Shhheeeeeeshhhh! By the way: liked your poem! - Donna [This message has been edited by Donna Top-Step (edited 05-30-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwayner Posted May 31, 2001 Author Share Posted May 31, 2001 Peter Puget! You have totally inspired me (along with the rest of your fellow poets"! "I am cleansed by Lou"....I can't get those words outta m'mind. That's exactly how I feel! Excuse me, but I've got some feelings to express. Lou... Half man/half sasquatch denizen of Tacoma's great white monster. Human burro of the overloaded Jan-Sport. Sir Lou....half glacier/half moraine, master of Rainier's glassy tormented slopes, yet awed, nay, humbled by its grandeur... pressure-breathing giant of the Ingraham, you had me at "rest-step". A thousand blonde monotone guides fail in imitation. Lou.....you complete me. - Dwayner P.S. guys....let me have a moment to myself, O.K.? this has all been a bit emotional for me....Alright, I'm better now. thanks! P.P.S.S. Uh, Donna, I don't know what to say unless you're really named Kathleen, Pope's old girlfriend whom we called "K-1"? Is that you? If so, you're right, Pope is a jerk, but I'm not. Hotcha!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambone Posted May 31, 2001 Share Posted May 31, 2001 Sorry Dwayner, my hero's aint from around here. Nice tribute though. Bring on more big Lou whoever his face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwayner Posted May 31, 2001 Author Share Posted May 31, 2001 Man! All that Big Lou talk caused me to have some wwwwwweeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiirrrrrdddddd dreams last night. Needless to say, Lou himself appeared. He came out of a giant UFO shaped like Mt. Rainier and he was extra-big, like twice normal Big Lou size, and he had a Lou-size old Chouinard laminated bamboo North Wall Hammer in one hand and a Number 11 hex in the other. He nodded at a huge JanSport pack and when I looked inside, it was full of sandwiches. good sandwiches, too, the kind I like. I helped myself to a few and Lou just stood there, towering above, glowing in the light of the hovering mothership. "Say, something, Lou!" I pleaded over and over again. After what seemed likes hours (and a dozen sandwiches later), he finally began to utter in a booming voice: "Mark your 'biners!" "What does that mean?" I implored. "Mark your 'biners with colored tape so you can tell which ones are yours." "I don't get it, Lou, what are you trying to tell me?" "And don't use black or red like everyone else." "Lou! What's up?" I yelled. Before I got my answer, Lou raised the North Wall hammer and was beamed up into the UFO which quickly vanished. I woke up all sweaty and wild-eyed. Needless to say, I ran to the car and drove to the all-night hardware store and bought ten rolls of tape. Gonna make my own special pattern, now. And today has been almost a waste. I can't help to think that maybe Lou was throwing some sort of metaphor our way. Twice I almost reached for the phone to call Big Lou himself, but I figured he might not know what I was talking about, or would think I wasn't a good climber and besides, he's probably all worn out from that rescue. 'been markin' 'biners all mornin'! Just thought I'd share that with you. [This message has been edited by Dwayner (edited 05-31-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erik Posted May 31, 2001 Share Posted May 31, 2001 bro, i think that the methadone clinic is on 6th and stewart. you might want to stop by. [This message has been edited by erik (edited 05-31-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pope Posted June 1, 2001 Share Posted June 1, 2001 Hey Dwayner, Just read your account of that Big Lou dream, and I'm probably making too much out of this...the imagination can work over-time when you've got that much juice in your veins(got that liver replaced yet?). Anyway, something's been bugging me. When Donna and I broke off our relationship, things got uglier than I could have imagined. She'd call up in the middle of the night and say nothing, just listen. She hired some peek-a-boo to follow me around..I assume to find out for whom she'd been dumped. She planted objects around in my car to make my wife suspect I was fooling around, took my wallet to Hooters, etc. Then one day, it just stopped, and I found an old Jansport pack at my door with a note from Donna: Here's your shit. Have a nice life. Anyway, in that pack were some briefs that I knew weren't mine: I wear boxers (my dad said that a big dog needs a big yard). Also, because I've always got a side-dish cooking, I always mark my boxers so I'll get them back when the flame burns down. I didn't see any marks in these briefs (there was sort of a brown racing stripe I suppose), so there was no way of knowing...wait a minute, didn't I see you running down Icicle Canyon Road last month in a pair of briefs? Dwayne? That dream you had..are you sure Lou said to mark your 'biners? Have you been boffin' Donna? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwayner Posted June 2, 2001 Author Share Posted June 2, 2001 Pope! In my dream....Big Lou DEFINITELY said, "Mark your 'biners", not "Mark your underwear". The latter, though, does sound like a good idea, unless you have some sort of unique readily identifiable racing stripe that you regularly apply, in which case, the process is automatic. I suspect that's indeed the case with you, Pope. Me n' Donna? Dude! I asked you earlier if she was the fancy betty you used to hang out with (Karen? Kathleen?) whom you referred to as "K-1". Dude....there have been so many! Uh....not really. Personally I have found that contrary to popular belief, climbing is the ultimate Girl-Repellent. (Is that why you've been "experimenting", Pope?) By the way, I think that would make a fine subject of discussion (the Girl-Repellent, not Pope's sexual confusion) but start it as a new topic because we've got some nice poetry and tributes above that shouldn't be spoiled by the possible dubious commentary that will no doubt ensue. Hey all you crag-hoppers and alpine masters! I'm tipping a Mickey's Big Mouth back for you this very moment in order to wish you a splendid climbin' weekend. And Big Lou....that means you too! Be safe out there! - Dwayner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeadam Posted June 2, 2001 Share Posted June 2, 2001 I wasn't quite sure what was going on here until I put Popes words under the magnifying glass of the famed dialecticizer. Once I got it all turned round it into Jive it made sense. Here it is in plain jive folks.... http://shortbus.net/dialect.html Hey Dwayner, Just eyeball yo' account uh dat Big Lou dream, and I'm probably makin' too much out uh dis...de imaginashun kin wo'k over-time when ya''ve gots dat much juice in yo' veins(gots dat liva' replaced yet?). Anyway, sump'n's been buggin' me. What it is, Mama! When Donna and ah' broke off our relashunship, wahtahmelluns gots uglia' dan ah' could gots' imagined. She'd call down in de middle uh de night and say nodin', plum listen. 'S coo', bro. She hired some peek-a-boo t'follow me around..I assume t'find out fo' whom she'd been dumped. She planted objects around in mah' wheels to make mah' mama suspect ah' wuz honkyfoolin' around, took mah' wallet t'Hooters, etc. Den one day, it plum stopped, and ah' found an old Janspo't pack at mah' doo' wid some note fum Donna, dig dis: Here's yo' shit. Have some supa' fine life. What it is, Mama! Anyway, in dat pack wuz some briefs dat ah' knowed wuzn't mine, dig dis: ah' wear boxers (my dad said dat some big-ass dog needs some big-ass yard). Also, cuz' I've always gots some side-dish cookin', ah' always Amos my boxers so's I'll git dem back when de flame burns waaay down. ah' dun didn't see any marks in dese briefs (dere wuz radical some brown racin' stripe ah' sdownpose), so's dere wuz no way uh knowin'...wait some minute, dun didn't ah' see ya' runnin' waaay down Icicle Canyon Road last mond in some pair uh briefs? Dwayne? Dat dream ya' had..are ya' sho' nuff Lou said t'mark yo' 'biners? Have ya' been boffin' Donna? ------------------ ___________ |[][][] []\__ |Shortbus | |_/-\_____/-\_/ 0 0 Â No Longer Be Ashamed to Say Yeah I ride the shortbus! www.shortbus.net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwayner Posted June 2, 2001 Author Share Posted June 2, 2001 Mike! You rule! Thanks for the translation. It all makes sense now! aloha, - Dwayner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwayner Posted June 4, 2001 Author Share Posted June 4, 2001 Well, as of noon, Friday, it's been Miller time, and I was fortunately able to escape the rambunctious weather of Saturday by venturing to eastern Oregon (don't worry about it, someone else was driving...and yes, I still retain a license.) Anyway, enough about me. The question that's been haunting me all day is......Anybody out there have a Big Lou weekend? Hey! Just askin'! - Dwayner (Ouch! I thought these things were supposed to be twist-tops!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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