mail order catalog writers

[lummox]

i dont know who writes the stuff in them. that shit gets funny at times. my favorite blurb from holiday mail-order catalogs so far this season (from mtn tools. kina says it all right there):

'fully rated to survive action-sport abuse'

[archenemy]

i dont know who writes the stuff in them. that shit gets funny at times. my favorite blurb from holiday mail-order catalogs so far this season (from mtn tools. kina says it all right there):

'fully rated to survive action-sport abuse'

Christmas Condoms?

[selkirk]

Is that what you want for christmas?

Someone has an overactively dirty mind, and for once it's not me!

[Gary_Yngve]

'fully rated to survive action-sport abuse'

 

The sex-rated portaledge?

[archenemy]

Is that what you want for christmas?

Someone has an overactively dirty mind, and for once it's not me!

Apparently its not me either...

[selkirk]

Are you sure?

[archenemy]

You are the one who is not sure what to do with this, right?

[selkirk]

No, I know what to do with this thread! It's the other one that's proving tuff to penetrate.

[archenemy]

Quit toggling and focus.

[olyclimber]

The life of a fighter pilot during the Battle of Britain was brave, exhilarating, terrifying, exhausting, seldom glamourous, and usually brief.

Average survival time: 3-1/2 days.

The Messerschmitts were everywhere. You had to twist your head around constantly, this way and that, to keep track of them.

You were glad to have this scarf. A small assertion of individuality (nobody begrudged you) that prevented chafing and provided warmth as you flew alone up there, into some kind of history.

R.A.F. Scarf (No. 1139), supplemental gear favored by legendary air ace Douglas Bader and other pilots in “the thin blue line.” Respectfully copied from a surviving original. Two-ply cut of smooth silk with a small bit of wool (no shine). Dimensions: 19-1/2” wide x 70” long, with 1/2” fringe.

A fine thing to see, to touch, to think about.

Color: Blue with small (1/8” in.) Cream polka dots. Price: $88.

 

How to wear an R.A.F. Scarf. (Or any scarf that’s as long as it should be.) Double scarf, then loop it around neck, passing ends through loop.

[olyclimber]

New York Subway strike of the late ‘70s. Bank presidents start wearing sneakers to work.

JFK goes hatless at his inauguration. Good-bye, hats.

Steve McQueen, Sean Connery, Bill Holden discard ties in favor of turtlenecks.

Some of it is progress. Now, marooned for a week in Paris or Osaka, this turtleneck sweater will keep you or me well dressed. Relaxed, but just a little dressy. (Both at the same time.) 55% silk, 45% cashmere. Pretty seductive stuff. Warm, but not heavy, not bulky.

A turtleneck makes a man look good, like a tuxedo. Sexy, slim, even slimmer. Women will ask if you’ve been running.

Beautifully detailed and finished. Sleek 7” high ribbed turtleneck. Set-in sleeves. 4” ribbed cuffs. Good with blazers, old tweedy jackets, slacks, jeans. People expect to see a Walther PPK strapped over it, so you don’t even need to bother.

Silk/Cashmere Turtleneck, sized for men (No. 1052) and women (No. 1236). Men’s sizes: S, M, L, XL, XXL. Women’s sizes: XS, S, M, L.

Colors: Burgundy, Black.

Price: $250.

[olyclimber]

I was browsing in a Paris antique shop one winter afternoon when a fitted leather train case caught my eye.

It contained silver-handled brushes, boot hooks, a straight razor, several silver-stoppered glass bottles…

One bottle was different. Encased in yew-wood, with a handwritten date: 1903.

Inside the bottle, there was still the faint, intriguing aroma of a gentleman’s cologne. A “prescription” cologne, custom-made for a rich traveler a century ago.

Curiosity was eating at me.

I bought the case (the price was shocking) and sent the bottle to a laboratory for analysis. They broke down the residue by gas chromatography. Identified its fingerprint through spectro-photometry.

The report said: an “old woody fougère.” Clean citrus notes, bergamot, “green notes.” The middle notes: clary sage…cardamom. The dry-down: leather notes, smoky labdanum…elemi, tabac, frankincense.

The detective work was impressive.

So is the thing itself.

Women like the way it smells on a man. Like a symphony that begins loudly, then soon slides into subtle, entangling developments that grow on them.

Or so I’ve been told.

 

1903 Gift Set (No. 1499). He’ll appreciate the bottle-green Bentley, but you can’t get by with just one gift, can you? Balance things out with this boxed collection of 1903 Spray Cologne, After Shave Balm, and Shaving Cream, plus my Badger Shaving Brush. Everything needed to start days off on the right foot for months to come, at a saving of 20 per cent off what you’d pay for the items individually. Price: $156.

[selkirk]

Quit toggling and focus.

 

Man, trying to spray and work at the same time is rough!

[Dru]

plus my Badger Shaving Brush.

 

snaffle shaver!

[selkirk]

aaaah, but they're so cute when they're shaved!