Lars Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat" 2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella. 3. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 4. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent) 5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever. 6. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale. 7. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable. 8. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay. 9. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party. 10. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it. 11. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean. 12. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem, you didn't see nothin'. 13. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer. 14. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat. 15. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. 16. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood. 17. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free. 18. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. 19. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 20. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. (Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.) 21. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean. 22. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer. 23. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending your response. 24. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thelawgoddess Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 i don't get number 14. what's wrong with kitty cats? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lummox Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 24. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need. fastest known way to clear a mens restroom: loudly say 'nice dick'. if george michael is there you are fuked. or suked? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lancegranite Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 (edited) 25. Rock-Paper-Scissors is considered to be the most acceptable method of decision making. 26. What happens on the road, stays on the road. Edited April 10, 2004 by lancegranite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markinore Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 27. Crying is permitted when watching the following movies: "Brian's Song" One other that I can't think of right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lummox Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 code? there is no code. only mottos. mine: submit or die. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icegirl Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 hah. 14... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary_Yngve Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 I googled for the "classic babe scale" and couldn't find it. Guess it's not so classic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foraker Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Real men don't worry about what other men think of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashw_justin Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 I googled for the "classic babe scale" and couldn't find it. Guess it's not so classic. You have never been properly briefed on the 10 scale? What are we teaching our kids these days... Well I guess that means you probably haven't heard of the binary scale either... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lummox Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 27. Crying is permitted when watching the following movies: "Brian's Song" One other that I can't think of right now. old yeller. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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