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A pompous minister was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Idaho. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.

 

The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

 

The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too. I didn't know we had a choice."

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CHINESE SICK LEAVE - I NOT COME WORK TODAY!!!

 

Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work."

 

The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need

you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that."

 

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house. "

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A young woman is shopping in the supermarket and has the following in her basket:

 

1 onion

1 carot

1 potato

1 samosa

1 lettuce

1 tomato

1 stick of celery

1 chicken breast

1 chocolate bar

1 bottle of milk

1 can of coke

1 packet of tissues

1 small microwave meal

 

She then joins the line for the checkout. Behind her, a guy joins the line and in his basket he has a couple 6 packs of beer and a frozen pizza. A conversation strikes up between them. The guy asks "Single, eh"? The lady blushes and replies "How did you know?"

The guy responds, "Because you're so damn ugly."

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