glacierdog Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER 80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough." _________________________________________________________ A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup." __________________________________________________________ "I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!" Three retired Chiefs, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer." Quote
glacierdog Posted September 4, 2003 Author Posted September 4, 2003 TV anchor woman Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles >in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War. She noted that women >customarily walked a few feet behind their husbands. In a follow-up >story, she returned to Kuwait recently & observed that men now walked >several yards behind their >wives. Ms. Walters approached one of the Kuwaiti women and said, "This is >marvelous! Can you tell the free world just what it was that enabled women >here to achieve this total reversal of roles?" >"Land mines," replied the woman. Quote
Off_White Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 sisu_suomi said: Glacierdog, i like the last 1. Yup, me too. I've got a version of the 3 hard of hearing guys, with slight variations, that has them as carpenters, a body of folks known for hearing loss due to overexposure to power tools. It's funny that carpenters seldom seem to laugh when I tell them that joke, maybe they didn't hear it correctly... Quote
Scott_J Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 Off_White said: sisu_suomi said: Glacierdog, i like the last 1. Yup, me too. I've got a version of the 3 hard of hearing guys, with slight variations, that has them as carpenters, a body of folks known for hearing loss due to overexposure to power tools. It's funny that carpenters seldom seem to laugh when I tell them that joke, maybe they didn't hear it correctly... Huh? Speak up will ya I can't hear well. Too much shootin, rock and roll music, and power tools as well as mine work when going to college. Fuckin hearing aids only work good when ya face me. Quote
Off_White Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 Yah, I've only got one good ear, so when I put it to the pillow I can sleep through anything. Quote
Ursa_Eagle Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 Off_White said: Yah, I've only got one good ear, so when I put it to the pillow I can sleep through anything. it sucks when you want to get up for an alpine start but a great excuse to use when you're late for work Quote
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