Here is the weekly post for Off White!!!!!

[Scott_J]

BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF

 

*****

 

OH MY GOD, I THINK I'M BECOMING THE MAN I WANTED TO MARRY!

 

GINGER ROGERS DID EVERYTHING FRED ASTAIRE DID, BUT SHE DID IT BACKWARDS

AND IN HIGH HEELS

 

A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG... YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU

PUT HER IN HOT WATER

 

I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE AND A

CAREER

 

SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME

 

COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH

 

DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN

 

I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN And I HAVE A GUN

 

WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT

 

OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY... I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME

 

DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILLNOT WIN

 

ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE

 

I CAN BE ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENS TO BAD PEOPLE

 

HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

 

DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES

 

DO YOU KOW KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES TO BURY A 125 POUND BODY IN ALASKA DURING JANUARY?

 

And last but not least:

 

IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN

 

 

[babnik]

i think i have seen every one of those on angry girls dressed in black in high school.

[Sphinx]

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.

Eventually little Johnny’s turn came. Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.

The teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was.

"It's a period," reported Johnny.

"Well I can see that," she said, "but what is so exciting about a period."

"Damned if I know," said Johnny, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."

 

 

[lummox]

my bad sisu. i had assumed you were a guy. whoops.

[Scott_J]

Sphinx said:

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.

Eventually little Johnny’s turn came. Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.

The teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was.

"It's a period," reported Johnny.

"Well I can see that," she said, "but what is so exciting about a period."

"Damned if I know," said Johnny, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."

 

phaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkking eh, eh!

[Scott_J]

lummox said:

my bad sisu. i had assumed you were a guy. whoops.

Hey Lummy, these last two

DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES

 

DO YOU KOW KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES TO BURY A 125 POUND BODY IN ALASKA DURING JANUARY?

 

are actual quotes from a 109 pound woman that I know in Alaska. Had some problems one night and wham, bang, boom she is in a load of shit but OK...no I got a lot of respect for a woman that can handle herself in the face of danger. How do you rate when the shit hits the fan?