Scott_J Posted September 2, 2003 Share Posted September 2, 2003 BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF ***** OH MY GOD, I THINK I'M BECOMING THE MAN I WANTED TO MARRY! GINGER ROGERS DID EVERYTHING FRED ASTAIRE DID, BUT SHE DID IT BACKWARDS AND IN HIGH HEELS A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG... YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER IN HOT WATER I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE AND A CAREER SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN And I HAVE A GUN WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY... I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILLNOT WIN ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE I CAN BE ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENS TO BAD PEOPLE HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY? DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES DO YOU KOW KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES TO BURY A 125 POUND BODY IN ALASKA DURING JANUARY? And last but not least: IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babnik Posted September 2, 2003 Share Posted September 2, 2003 i think i have seen every one of those on angry girls dressed in black in high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sphinx Posted September 2, 2003 Share Posted September 2, 2003 The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. Eventually little Johnny’s turn came. Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. The teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnny. "Well I can see that," she said, "but what is so exciting about a period." "Damned if I know," said Johnny, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lummox Posted September 2, 2003 Share Posted September 2, 2003 my bad sisu. i had assumed you were a guy. whoops. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott_J Posted September 2, 2003 Author Share Posted September 2, 2003 Sphinx said: The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. Eventually little Johnny’s turn came. Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. The teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnny. "Well I can see that," she said, "but what is so exciting about a period." "Damned if I know," said Johnny, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself." phaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkking eh, eh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott_J Posted September 2, 2003 Author Share Posted September 2, 2003 lummox said: my bad sisu. i had assumed you were a guy. whoops. Hey Lummy, these last two DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES DO YOU KOW KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES TO BURY A 125 POUND BODY IN ALASKA DURING JANUARY? are actual quotes from a 109 pound woman that I know in Alaska. Had some problems one night and wham, bang, boom she is in a load of shit but OK...no I got a lot of respect for a woman that can handle herself in the face of danger. How do you rate when the shit hits the fan? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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