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It was a night to remember. I heard that Grady’s was popular but I wasn’t prepared to push my way through the assembled throng of paparazzi, autograph-seekers and promiscuous groupies to reach the huge bouncer who looked like Mr. T. It was like Studio 54 in its heyday with lines of desperate contenders hoping for an entrance ticket. One young lady wore a T-shirt that read, “You can Alpine my K!" and a nearby skinny fellow wearing lycra held a handful of quickdraws with the intent to bribe. “Hold on, buddy!” insisted the bouncer. “Are you on the list?” “cc.com,” I answered, “Dwayner.” “You got some i.d. to prove it?” requested the giant wearing nothing more than khaki shorts over polypro long-johns and lots of gold jewelry. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a handful of lint. The bouncer carefully examined the fuzz. “You’re legit!” he pronounced, “Come on in!” I shook three groupies off my leg and one of them stuffed a bra into my sock. It had her phone number on it. Waiting inside was one of the most star-studded gatherings I have ever encountered. It was like the Oscar’s, the Emmy’s and the Peoples’ Choice Awards (as hosted by Rosie O’Donnell) all in one! The roster included the likes of the “effortlessly-cool” Matt P, Pube-Club Meister Dave, Szyjakowski the Olympian, our tricky uncle: Uncle Tricky, Thinker, who was thoughtful and bought me a beer, ToTheTop who was on top of the situation, that kool-kitten Ehmmic, a groovy guy she knows at the end of the table, and a nice senorita showed up with a name like “climbed that already” or some such, and then there was Lisa: looking tan, rested and ready for adventure. Alpine K was wearing this huge polypro shirt which was actually lent to him by the bouncer after a groupie mauled him at the entrance. He thanked me when I handed him the bra from my sock and said “I’ll add it to my collection.” as he tossed it into the corner.

 

As if this weren’t enough....my knees shook like a nervous schoolboy when I noticed a rare but familiar face. It was ICEGIRL! Too anxious to say much, the best I could blat out was an offer to wax her car.

 

As if this weren’t enough....both Jon and GaperTimmy: King of Plab showed up! You know them as the premier facilitators of your favorite work-distracting diversion and the enablers at the center of many Northwest climbers’ social lives. And they were in good form! I could write pages about the witty banter, insider beta-exchanges, high-fives, meat-gazing, and other acts of Plabness that took place but I won’t. Although everyone knows that the classiest venue in Seattle can’t even compare to the cheapest gin-joint in Tacoma, it’s the quality of the people that makes the occasion and it’s going to be hard to beat this one!

 

And apologies to any folks I might have missed in the above review...I was overwhelmed by the sheer celebrity power!

 

- Dwayner bigdrink.gifbigdrink.gifbigdrink.gif

 

ILLUSTRATIONS:

Icegirl waiting for her drink.

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The bouncer resembled Mr. T.

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Henry Kissinger was there as usual but sat at the bar and didn’t say much this time.

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